Do You Get Into Arguments Over Your Special Interests?

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I definitely do, so i was wondering if it's a common thing. It's something i've been trying to control. I don't usually consider myself all that confrontational... But sometimes i feel like i need to correct people. It just usually ends up starting an argument and making me seem like i'm looking for a fight. For example, i've gotten into arguments with pet shop employees a few times over reptile-related things. One time an employee at a pet shop i happened to be looking around in said something about how the reticulated pythons they had there would get 30 feet long, and then i start explaining about how the maximum recorded length was just under 33 feet, but that that was a rare occurance, and that that the longest ones currently in captivity are only around 26 feet, definitely NOT 30. Plus, even the 26 footers are a rare occurence, and even very large females only get around 20 feet most of the time. And he apparently "knew people" who were breeders who had a bunch of them over 26 feet, and i tried to explain how that wasn't possible, because if they did, then they'd be on the news and every herp-related website in the world. Also, these have been a few instances where the labels on an enclosure read "tegu monitor," and i try to explain to whoever will listen that there's no such thing as a tegu monitor, because tegus are, in fact, TEIIDS NOT MONITORS. Then i also get kinda upset with people if i see crickets in iguana cages, because they're HERBIVORES... just things like that. I don't like always causing conflict, but it just happens with these things. I really just want to give helpful input when can see that i know better than others about certain things, but i don't know how to keep it from turning into a big argument. I'm stubborn as hell, so it's reallllly hard for me to "just let it go" after it starts, too, because i NEED to get my point across. But afterward i always wish it hadn't turned into an argument, because that's not what i wanted to happen. I don't know if this makes a whole lot of sense, but i seem to have so much in common with people here that maybe someone can relate to this too, heh.

oh god yes. all the time.

Plants are my thing. Heaven forbid I'm walking with someone, and they attempt to identify a flower by the roadside, or a tree in the woods. I'll not only correct them when they're wrong, I'll proceed to give them the botanical family/genus/species classification, what the growing conditions are, what uses it has, where it is native to, etc. etc.

I really have to show immense restraint to not inundate other people with more information than they ever wanted to know about plants. So if there is even the slightest doubt about something, my immediate reaction is to assert the correct information with a tidal wave of facts.

Other people, naturally, find this rude and offensive. No one likes being corrected, and certainly not by a know-it-all. This is what usually starts the argument. From there, the argument takes on a life of its own, and proceeds to transform me into a one-track-mind of arrogance, as I plow ahead with my endless supply of knowledge...

Anyways, yes. You get the point.

No, mostly because I try to avoid confrontation. I can't handle my own or other's anger well and I know it. I bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut.

Regards,

Patricia

How frustrating for you to have to deal with such an uneducated pet-store employee. He was part of the argument too- he could have respected your knowledge, and asked for more resources to learn more about his business...isn't that kind of sad?



That said, Acacia, you are absolutely right- no one likes to be corrected. Even when they are way, way wrong. Well, I should amend that. Some people have thanked me for correcting typos, misspellings, and the like (and since I am not perfect, appreciate similar assist) and there have also been times when- trying to be polite- I did not alert writers to errors, later finding out that they would have welcomed the correction. But that is less of an argument thing than an appearance of being elitist or arrogant.

Oh yeah. Usually I get frustrated first because I perceive that the other people don't understand my perspective, possibly because I don't think they have considered the interest as long or as hard as I have. I try to always keep it constructive, but sometimes that gets so hard that I snap and lash out a bit.

Yes nobody study the things that I study so most of the time I talk to someone about the things I like it is like a monologue. Besides that I'm considered the weird guy because I have "strange" interests.

I have not had any chance to even talk about my specialist interests let alone argue about them. Nearly everyone where I live is as thick as two short planks no one kows anything about organic chemistry.

I used to all the time.

I've done a lot better by getting it into my head that very, very, very few people give a damn about what I think or what I'm interested in.

Yeah, me too.

Also, when I catch myself on the verge of "spewing" as I call it, I usually think something like, Do you really want to be known as the ________ guy? And that's usually enough to help me keep my mouth shut.

[quote="Acacia"]oh god yes. all the time.

Plants are my thing. Heaven forbid I'm walking with someone, and they attempt to identify a flower by the roadside, or a tree in the woods. I'll not only correct them when they're wrong, I'll proceed to give them the botanical family/genus/species classification, what the growing conditions are, what uses it has, where it is native to, etc. etc.

I really have to show immense restraint to not inundate other people with more information than they ever wanted to know about plants. So if there is even the slightest doubt about something, my immediate reaction is to assert the correct information with a tidal wave of facts.

Other people, naturally, find this rude and offensive. No one likes being corrected, and certainly not by a know-it-all. This is what usually starts the argument. From there, the argument takes on a life of its own, and proceeds to transform me into a one-track-mind of arrogance, as I plow ahead with my endless supply of knowledge...

I love plants too, and usually I dont get into arguments about them, but when I say something that people dont know, and they go oh you mean this, and im like NO I mean what I said thats what gets me
where do you live? what kinds of plants do you have?

Could not have said it better myself! Now, having said this, I am in the happy position to be able to take classes/workshops in one of my special interests right now. I am trying to develop a feel for when my corrections would be welcome, when they would be resented. Still a work in progress...

I live in west-central Florida. It's a unique climate that supports a lot of both temperate and tropical plants. On the property where I live, in just the past five years, I've planted:
-about 20 trees, large and small, many of which bear tasty fruit.
-an herb garden with a collection of about 15 different kinds of herbs.
-dozens of shrubs, perennials, annuals, some of which also bear fruit or are otherwise edible.
-flowering vines up against the house.
-a small water-garden with aquatic and bog plants.
-a collection of potted cacti and succulents.

When people talk about anything plant-related, it's as if fireworks go off in my head, and I will get completely into a "zone". Should someone not quite get the facts right, I have a really hard time not jumping in immediately and letting them know exactly what is what.

As you can see, I'd talk about plants all day, whether someone is listening or not.
So I'll stop now.

The devil you say, sir. I don't mind being corrected at all, if it is done in a constructive and polite manner. In fact I appreciate being so corrected because it saves me from future errors. We all err. We are all imperfect. One of the benefits of living in a social order is that errors can be filtered out quickly and in most cases, harmlessly.

ruveyn

Same here. Also my long-term memory sucks, and I'm one of those Aspies that cycle through lots of special interests... I can't keep enough facts in my head at once to succeed in an argument.

Certainly. My problem is, I'm so obsessed with my interest, that all politeness and restraint goes right out the window, as I steamroll information across the other person with a cold and encyclopedic attitude. It's like a knee-jerk reaction. All human niceties seem to escape me in that moment.

If I'm not talking about my interest, I can usually remain amiable and courteous.
Mention plants, and I turn into some kind of arrogant robot. Hmmm...

No, because I am always right.