Minding your own business????

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That's pretty much what I've have always done. Gossip and tales of what others do and what they get up to, was never high on my list of things to do. However it seems most people enjoy, if I can use that word, knowing about what's going on in the lives of others. I don't know, is it normal not to really care? Don't get me wrong if some news about another person (which is important) comes up, I will take heed to it. But my general lack of interest in the lives of others, is it abnormal?

Maybe I suspect there is not much in my life, so I don't bother about whats happening to others to feel better about myself...

Last edited by i_wanna_blue on 27 Jun 2009, 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If one of my 5 frinds does something really stupid or immoral I'll go to town on i for example, my NT friend Adam wants to smoke cannabis in our new student house and I got very irritated by it or I often complain if something is immperfect but gossiping I think is stupid, shallow and jaded I'll rather talk about theories or experiences more worthwhile

apologies misread, yes if people are gossiping about me I get quite hostile just generall because whispering about people is appaulling its so cruel and heartless and usually i'll get very angry and tell them to mind their own bloody business

If people talk behind your back without saying anything to your face, it means they fear you. It means your enemies are cowards. Fear is a form of power you hold over them.

Unless I hear something important, I don't ever care. Gossip...

I think people have every right to their own opinions and to express themselves. We can't censor them by not letting them talk about their problems they had with another person and not let them vent about it to someone. My mom has came home from work and talk about her boss because she was such a bully to her. Is that gossip?
If people are mean to me or I think someone's behavior is disgusting, I think I have every right to talk about it. Is that gossiping?

If people want to talk about me in a negative way, I don't want to hear about it. I am sure people talk about me through PM here but do I care? No. They have every right to express themselves and have an interesting topic to talk about in private. I have talked about some members here through PM, they just come up randomly when we talk. Someone once told me through PM he wasn't sure if I was this other person or not so he had to read through my posts and I thought did he not like that person or something because he had to read through my posts first so that's how our PMs led to the talk about that person. Was that gossip? It's so hard to not talk about someone. Especiaslly if you are expressing yourself about how you feel about that person or if they had upset you about their actions or what they said to you.

But there has been rumors about me online and sometimes I do wish they would come up to me and ask me if this or that is true about me before believing it. They weren't bad rumors, they were neutral. One of them was I was having sex with men when I only had it with my ex but the thing was I was going out and meeting a lot of men which was in 2007 so people made an assumption I was having sex because people normally have sex when they go out with someone. So that's how that rumor started about me that I was having sex with men. There was even rumors about me in Montana in my old town about that I was going to get married and I was going to have a baby and this was back in 2007 also. My old aid was the only one who asked me in person if those things were true and I said they were not. She said she didn't want to believe them until she found out they were true so she would rather ask me about it first. At my work there was a rumor I was going to have a baby because some room attendants were asking me where my baby was and when it was due. I am not sure how that rumor started. It is because I have a tummy that sticks out below my belly button I have had my whole life and someone thought I was pregnant and spreaded that around or was me talking about wanting to name my kid Spokane but my boyfriend won't let me started that rumor because someone might have over heard me and thought I was pregnant and told the other workers about it. So none of these were bad rumors, they were neutral or postive ones. I would rather have good rumors about me or neutral ones than bad ones. Were all those rumors gossips?

I think the whole gossip thing is stupid because it's so hard to not talk about someone and I think we have every right to our opinions and to expressing ourselves. If someone picks on you, you have every right to talk about it to someone like to your friend to get support from them. You don't ever want to tell your bullies they had ruined your day or they had upset you, etc. because then it just gives them more power to hurt you more because they know they can get to you and they might do it more to you and I think it be harder to get rid of them by ignoring them because you had let them know they can get to you. I know this because I have read about bullying and have been told by my old therapist they like having power and I read in articles they do it for security and it makes them feel better when they pick on someone and most of them have issues themselves so they take it out on others. They are also unhappy people. When one of them says they have no problems and they are happy, I find it hard to believe. Maybe they are just unaware of their own feelings and don't realize how miserable they really are or they don't want anyone to know their personal problems because they want to appear strong.

^
I think you have misinterpreted the motivation behind this thread. I am not saying talking about others is 'wrong' or inappropriate. My point is whether or not it is normal or abnormal not to really talk about people and the lives of others. I do know that it is only natural to talk about others, and not all things we say is gossip. Don't worry I am aware of that.

At times I just don't really find it natural to concern myself... I don't know maybe it's just a sign of my isolation. But you do make good points and I appreciate the response. I tend to mind my own business most of the time. I'm just wondering who else does so...

Oh I read it right, I was just responding to other people's posts as well. I am not always responding to the OP when I make replies, I am also responding to peoples replies in the thread and I was talking about my view on gossip for others to read and consider and it makes them think unless they don't care.

When I hear people talk badly about others, I don't believe every word they say about the other person. It doesn't mean I think they are lying, it's just because it could be their own point of view or perespective but it doesn't mean they are lying if they are wrong about that person. Sometimes it's based on their experiance about the other person so they form an opinion about them and they are expressing it to someone else. When I talk negative about someone, I don't expect the other person to believe what I am saying about that person is true because it's my own perspective on that person. It's up for that person to investigate if they want by reading through their posts to see if I am right or not. If it's in real life it be up to them if they want to investigate by talking to that person and asking about his or her situation with me or just talk to them to know them better to see what that person is like because not everything you hear about someone is true but it doesn't mean they are lying.

There's a difference between talking about others in a casual way, and spreading untrue rumours just for the hell of it.

It is quite normal for people on the spectrum to be disinterested in gossip and things like soap operas.

I remember my grandfather used to talk about his neighbors all the time and saying how bad they are. I thought they were all bad so i wasn't nice to one of them when we moved to Montana and he said he went on my grandfather's land with his friend and stole some of his fish from one of his ponds and I thought he really is bad because he did that. Plus my grandfather was saying how one of their kids was stealing fish on his land and I thought they were bad people because one of thier boys stole fish from him and they let their kids steal. As years went by, they seemed like nice people when I run into them but it turns out they are nice people but my grandfather had a fight with him in 1982 and he has been mad at him ever since and at the rest of his family. So anything their kids would do or something that might happen, he used it against them. I learned then everything I hear about someone might not be true. Sure just because one family member did something horrible doesn't mean the rest of them are bad. It was just one person. I am sure the family has said bad things about my grandfather and the kids believed them so it was like a war between those two.

I do remember the time I heard from my grandfather how their kids were found inside his home one of his tentants was renting from him. They would go in her home she was renting and she found them inside one time when she came home and lost her trust in them. I thought then they really were bad people because their kids were going in her home and the renter lost her trust in them and started locking her door.

Was that gossip?

I don't like drama, so if it doesn't really concern me I'll just mind my own. People find it odd that I won't know about rumours or quiz people etc

By rule, I stick to my self and allow others to be as they are. This doesn't always work out. Sometimes social interaction is necessary though sparingly welcome. If our values and interests weren't so incredibly different, perhaps a meaningful mutual exchange could take place. Usually socialization involves a one-way giving of support and energy, with next to no benefit of my own. I really wish that weren't so, but it's the way it is.