Do you often get told to get out of your 'shell'?

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I know I do. My shell? What is it exactly? I guess it's my insecurity and tentativeness which keeps me from showing any real zeal for doing things other people find so natural. Like talking out loud, making friends and being popular.

This 'shell' is all I know. I'm am the only person with whom I can confide in an withdraw towards. I don't know how 'to get out of it.' I wish people would stop telling me that.

What about anyone else?

+1

All of the time.

I also get told alot, "Smile, its not so bad."

I get it told a lot as I take everything really literally, I'm a serious person most of the time, it just means to step out your persona a little thats all I just imagine a turtle thats all

Yes, my parents (mostly my aspie mom with zero social life, ironic isn't it ?) often do (we live very near), they say "go out" more and stuff like that, but right now this kind of conversation just ends up laughing about my lack of desire to go out and that's all.

It just means to be more social. I get told that a LOT by my mom...my friends just understand me and how I am. Sometimes I'm really outgoing and other times I'm really serious and quiet.

I do believe that many people have a proverbial shell..and that it is ok to come out of one's shell...I am not sure how to describe what i think the "shell" is..but as a start it might be partially defined as discomfort with being one's self in front of others...the word "tenativeness" is good.

when I was younger I was a lot more "in my shell"..the older I get I tend to crawl more out of my shell...even though this might make me somewhat annoying to others...

It is easiest to be out of one's shell when one is in an environment where they feel generally nurtured/accepted..so it is understandable that often times people like us are in positions where it does not feel safe to come out of the shell.

I've never been told this by anyone I care to listen to, that I can recall.

I have been told that I need to make friends, but these people are not people I care to listen to about... anything, really. These are mostly people who end up going for bullying because I'm weird.

Edit: This is not always common, though, because I am known to rant for a considerable length of time about my interests to people willing to listen. Casual observers assume that they are encouraging my rants.

well i can kinda relate, but I always talk loud

Yep, all the time. And I've done it before. Of course, stepping out isn't all that it's cracked up to be. For someone to believe that will solve your problems is off thier rocker, as it just creates a wealth of new ones.

I've come to appreciate my shell more as I got older.

I get told this still but it's usually because people can't see through my autism/I can't express myself in a way others recognise fully and accurately.

I get told things like, "You know your problem is that you don't get involved in other people's lives. You have to reach out." or "The solution to loneliness is to just go out and visit someone." or just the blatant, "You have to make relationships." (as I'm running away from them as fast as possible).

Very few people share my set of specific interests, so why should I pretend I don't feel like I'm wasting my precious time on earth talking about or doing things I'm not interested in.

But when I do meet somebody who shares my interest, WOW, look out! but then they usually have aspergers too, so it's on again off again.

my response to being told to come out of my shell is to give them what they ask for (though not necessarily what they wanted). i just start talking about whatever's on my mind (which is never quiet). after a minute or so they change the subject and i can go back into my shell.

Yes. When I told my violin teacher that I had Asperger's syndrom she said that there were nothing wrong with me. I just needed to get out of my shell.

Oh, yes. I hear this all the time. On a good day I shrug it off and make fun of whoever said it. On a bad day I just get pissed off that some NTs think it's so easy. What do they expect to happen when they give this "advice"? That I'll have have an epiphany and suddenly know how to connect with people?