relationship with as

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hi,

im having really bad troubles right now in our relationship, i think my AS gf might be cheating on me, and she has been going to parties with some of my other friends. last night she told me that she didnt know what she was feeling or what she wanted and that i should just be supporting her and she didnt want to commit to me much more.

i feel so bad, because i love her so much, and would do anything for her, she has the most amazing personality, and i feel really depressed. a few minutes ago, i had thoughts about relieving myself of the pain, but i decided to go to this forum as a last resort, maybe just to grasp any last bit of help.

she is my one and only, and now she might be gone, and i feel if nothing is done soon, i will be too.

Sounds tough man, I know how you feel (not with an aspie gf tho). Ask yourself why she's not going to those parties with you. If any of those friends she's going to parties with are close with you it may be a good idea to ask what went on at said parties, don't ask directly about your girl just about the party, they wont tell you directly but you may be able to tell from their reaction what's up (if she is cheating on you that is).

When my ex was cheating on me and I asked a mutual friend about a party they'd been to they gave literally no details just said it was a good party nothing about who was there or any funny things that happened which is what normally happens when people talk about parties, at the time I didn't think much of it but have since read lack of details is a big indicator of deception. There are loads more indicators like that, the book I read was called 'the truth about lying' and is very good.

Noone is worth ending your life over especially not someone who doesn't feel the same way you do. Keep your chin up and don't end up hating her. Accept that things change and people move on, it's hard but it's the way life is. What's for you wont go by you someone told me once, I'm only just figuring out what they meant but it's worth thinking about.

There was a time in my marriage that my husband thought I was cheating on him or going to or something along those lines. I was not, did not, never wanted to and never would. Thing is, I do not think like him, I do not behave like most of the females he has been with, and I am completely oblivious to the way some of the things I do come across to others... including the ones I love the most. I had no idea why he was so bent out of shape and he had no idea how I could be so clueless.

Have you told her that you feel like she might be doing something with someone else? Have you tried to sit her down and tell her where you are coming from? Granted, if she is needing space, now might not be the best time to do this. Most times when a person needs distance, the worst thing to do is get in their face and try to have a conversation with an emotional tone to it... things could escalate and get ugly. If you love her, you need to be patient with her, no matter how painful that is going to be for you. You have my sympathies... I do not know much about your gf... but I know me and I know the hell my husband has endured putting up with me. It is not always a bed of roses. If she is telling you she needs you to support her, do the best you can do to do this... if you are not sure how to support her then ask, when the time is right. She really might just need some space, no more, no less.

If it turns out she is actually cheating... do you really want to be with a person who has such a blatant disregard for you? You seem to genuinely care for her... your care might be better directed towards a person who deserves it... cheaters do not. I do not want to end this reply this way because it seems to take on the tone that she is cheating... at this point you really do not know either way. Try to not let it upset you too much until you know the facts. I know that is easier said than done. I hope things work out quickly for you.

Honesty and an inability to lie effectively is common is Aspies. You sure she is cheating?