Running into people literally

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I can NEVER seem to figure out which way people are heading when we are walking directly at each other. When I am approaching them it looks like I'm a running back trying to juke them out. Then I'll pick the wrong direction and run into them, apologizing. What am I doing wrong am I not picking up on some nonverbal communication? Does anyone else have this problem?

Always had, don't know why but most of the times I choose the same direction of the person coming toward me...

Yeah...it helps if you just pick a side of the street and keep walking when you see someone walking towards you. They'll move over eventually. Another thing that always happens to me is I can't figure out when, or how long to look at or notice someone who is passing by me. Or I do the 'avoid eye contact until the last possible second so they don't think I'm staring and then maybe look at them as I pass so they don't think I'm trying NOT to look', etc. Do most people just KNOW when to do this stuff? Or maybe they just don't notice the other people around them and wonder which direction they're going to pick? lol

This is so common that there is a jokey term for it: "concrete quadrille". I didn't make that up.

It's the eyes. People look the direction they are going to go. If you have AS, you are probably looking somewhere other than their eyes.

i was taught as a child (in america) to always stay to the right. if everyone would just do that we wouldn't have this problem.


thing is, not everyone gets this. i find it especially frustrating when someone is coming straight at me and i'm on the right side of the sidewalk (which is the left side for them) and they walk right into me. this used to happen a lot when i was younger but then i joined the army and even now that i've been out for years my walk is decidedly confident which seems to make people get out of the way. kind of like being bigger i guess. i taught myself to keep my head up, shoulders back, and eyes front. except i suck at the eyes front part. i can't help but look at things.


i think the part that confuses a lot of us on the spectrum is that eye contact is normal for most people. we remember that we're not supposed to stare at people and we run with that. i used to blink a lot when walking past people or i'd pretend i had noticed something in another direction. now i just look forward and they mostly get out of the way.


so that's my suggestion. keep your head up and shoulders back (this makes walking less strenuous as well) and just look forward. if you feel comfortable enough to look at them, but feel uncomfortable when they notice, just give a little half-nod. they'll most likely just give a little half-nod back and keep walking.




on a tangent, i didn't figure out that the half nod is just an acknowledgment until my late teens. until then, i thought it was a way to get someone's attention. i would get frustrated when i would use it and people would just walk by. this probably goes along with the way i annoyed people by answering them honestly when they asked "what's up?" or "what's going on?."

I had this problem.

Always walk on the right. If you walk on the right, you're right, even if they do bump into you.

I do this a lot. I usually watch people very closely when they pass me, but we still end up doing the 'move out of the way' dance. Then I go back to staring at the clouds.

I always move to the right, just as I would if I was driving down a small road and another car was coming from the opposite direction....Kinda like "pulling over", to let them pass.This works most of the time.

I usually think of "Bittersweet Symphony."

If I see that's going to happen, I'll sometimes stand still until the other has figured out just to pass by. Or I'll run to the side and pass by the other.

My dad sometimes says to the other one, when this happens to him: "Thank you for the dance". I've done the same a few times.

Or sometimes I just do it the "normal" confusing way, without saying anything or doing anything special.