Are you unintentionally disrespectful to people?

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KevinLA
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29 Jun 2009, 9:36 pm

This has been common for me in the past. It is only after the incident that I realized that I had been disrespectful to others.

I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. We are not. That is what makes it so difficult.



Kasanova
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29 Jun 2009, 9:37 pm

Yeah sometimes I just tell people to go f**k themselves

It's not intentional... it just happens

I can't help it :nerdy:



gramirez
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29 Jun 2009, 9:38 pm

I've been accused of doing it...though the person who accused me of doing it was the most horrible person I've ever met in my life.


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KevinLA
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29 Jun 2009, 9:42 pm

gramirez wrote:
I've been accused of doing it...though the person who accused me of doing it was the most horrible person I've ever met in my life.


People project their own weaknesses on other people.



Maggiedoll
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29 Jun 2009, 9:45 pm

I think the definitions of "respectful" are different.

NTs consider it "respectful" not to question someone.. If I respect someone, I'm going to ask them questions. If something seems wrong, I'll ask them about it. If they have a fact wrong, I'll figure they want to know about it. Of course, it may also be that I respect people who want to know things and don't mind being asked questions, so it may get a bit chicken-and-egg.

NTs also consider formulaic answers respectful, and like to try to trip you up. Like when they demand that you do something by asking if you want to, and then get pissed if you answer honestly that you don't..



Tory_canuck
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29 Jun 2009, 9:57 pm

I have troube deciphering whether or not two people are done a conversation, and go to say something, but then they start talking again...Then I get told off for interrupting, when I just simply thought they were done talking.


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Linder1980
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29 Jun 2009, 10:03 pm

I've often been accused of being disrespectful or will reply honestly when asked something only to have people come up to me later and say "I can't believe you said that!"

however since I found this website and starting finding out more about autism/aspergers, I'm becoming more comfortable with saying whatever I mean regardless of how it's perceived.....



Who_Am_I
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29 Jun 2009, 10:34 pm

People sometimes misconstrue my words and actions as being disrespectful. I don't see how one can be unintentionally disrespectful: surely you either respect someone or you don't? You may have difficulty showing respect in a way that others can understand, but that doesn't equate to disrespect.


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zen_mistress
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29 Jun 2009, 10:36 pm

I am very very respectful to everyone whenever possible. Except if they are a complete jerk to me.



RoisinDubh
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29 Jun 2009, 10:37 pm

I have, and always have had, a problem with the idea that some people are supposedly 'due' more respect FROM me than they GIVE me. This was a huge problem for me in school, particularly as a child. The idea of 'respecting' (ie, obeying every wish and command, no matter how stupid) someone just because they were 'grown up' seemed asinine to me. The same rule applies now that I'm a 'grown-up' when it comes to people in self-appointed positions of authority.

I am not unintentionally disrespectful, but I only allot people as much respect as they show to me.


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Prosser
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30 Jun 2009, 2:05 am

KevinLA wrote:
I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others.


erm... you sure?


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Rainbow-Squirrel
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30 Jun 2009, 2:18 am

Prosser wrote:
KevinLA wrote:
I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others.


erm... you sure?


I see them everyday at work, definitely no.



Kaleido
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30 Jun 2009, 2:52 am

KevinLA wrote:
I believe neurotypical people are wired to be respectful to others. We are not. That is what makes it so difficult.


You may need to have another think about that :wink:

I haven't found this to be true. Depends on upbringing more than wiring.



millie
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30 Jun 2009, 3:29 am

on the whole, I like the idea of respect and i try to adhere to it. However, because of my ASD bluntness and black and white thinking, i can in fact be quite dismissive and disregarding of people and their views. I work on this however, and I'm more respectful of others than i used to be.

And it is quite possible to disagree and dispute, in a respectful and decent manner.



Tory_canuck
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30 Jun 2009, 3:54 am

I word things or comments wrong and they are misinterpreted as rude, whereby I didnt intend them to be in a rude contest, just the way I inadvertantly said it cause people to percieve it as offensive when that was not my intention.


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dalekaspie
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30 Jun 2009, 5:51 am

yeah


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