Does Everybody Have Aspergers?

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I've been meeting a lot of people I think have Aspergers. Maybe it's because the things I do attract people with Aspergers (engineering, dancing, music, zen, 12-step meetings, people on line---all structured social interactions, safe). Maybe it's because I like smart people--maybe a lot of smart people have Aspergers. Maybe I'm just projecting onto them what I have. Or, maybe it's just that men typically (according to the tests) have a higher score on that emotional test we take, and I tend to like men better--I guess in general society. Or, maybe it's that everybody is, in fact, somewhere on the scale, like introvert to extrovert, Asperger to Neurotypical, and some are closer to one side of the scale and others closer to the other side, and I'm just relating to their side that's closer to me.

However, there's this one guy who just works at home (telecommutes) on a computer and turns around in his office and voila! he's in his music studio and he just writes his music and doesn't come out. We made a brief--very brief--effort to have a relationship and he ran away. What a pisser. Anyway, I think he has Aspergers and doesn't know it. He's 58. A lot of people around my age have it and don't know why they're always lonely. They just think they're losers, and are socially incompetent. Which is true (:-)), but it helps to know that you have a really kool reason for being that way and that there are lots of others who can relate to it. And it's part of what makes us so good at our "obsessions." I'd hate to be a social butterfly. What a waste of a good life.

Anyway, what do you think about that?

thats really hard to make a call o that because some people are really just homely people anyway try to get if he has any strict routines or how he soialises generally he could have it though cus I am oddly similar lol I am a programmer and game blogger and only need to swerve my chair hehe

I think you are on to something when you say that you like certain "types" of people. I think that many people have "traits" that are similar to folks with AS. That doesn't mean that they have it, however. I imagine that is what you are noticing and being that you have AS you are probably just realizing that you feel comfortable with someone and the thought crosses your mind that the person could also have AS. The odds that they have the "triad of impairments" is probably pretty small.

There's definitely an autistic-to-neurotypical continuum. You'll see people who are on the border of some type of autism (not necessarily Asperger's specifically; you'll see visual types who are bad with words, too, on the border of Kanner's); but who aren't actually impaired by their traits, and so can't be diagnosed... those people are the broader autism phenotype, people with autistic traits who aren't quite autistic; then others with only a few mild traits; then the mainstream; then socially gifted types, with their brains specialized for socializing--opposite of autism.

Of course this is not a spectrum with only one dimension. If you wanted, you could probably plot a spectrum of any given autistic trait. For example, there's a spectrum of auditory sensitivity, a spectrum of language competence, a spectrum of non-verbal communication, a spectrum of special-interest intensity... I mean, it's not like we're all at the exact same "place" on some autistic/NT spectrum; we've all got different places in different spectra representing all sorts of traits, some associated with autism and some not.

People are insanely diverse like that.

So yeah, you're probably seeing the broader autism phenotype--detecting autistic traits in non-autistic people--or even picking out one or two adults with a missed diagnosis.

Look for this description of "Conceptualist" personality types:

http://www.davidmarkley.com/personality ... ualist.htm

[remember that, in these context, "NT" means "iNtuitive Thinker", not "NeuroTypical"]

Don't you think that these types (around 10% of the population) in many ways ressemble a "soft version" of Asperger?

Having very fresh memories of public schooling, I can certainly say that autistics are in the minority.

Though it does seem like now that everyone is out of school, the only friends I've been able to keep (or gain) are the ones who seem to be at least somewhere on the spectrum...we all just seem to bunch together, and I'm sort of drifting away from the few NT-ish friends I had.

I was reminded of this post today.

We had some of my wife's friends from high school over, a reunion of old friends. One of the families is visiting from out of town, and we had never met their kids before. Their oldest kid (9 years old) struck me as someone on the spectrum. He was getting "attacked" by one of our other friends's 5-year old son (who is just kind of rowdy and likes to wrestle). Afterwards he was deeply upset, crying, clutching his ears to his head, lying down against a sofa chair, and just generally wanting to be left alone. He didn't talk much, but he struck me as an exceptionally sweet child. When we were out in the yard, he mostly wandered about by himself, looking like he wanted to play with the other kids but was afraid of getting wrestled again by the 5-year old. I spent much of the rest of the day feeling bad for him, wanting to help in whatever way I could.

Certainly that little bit of experience wasn't much to be able to tell if he is on the spectrum, and the parents gave no indication of that he was. But I just kind of got this feeling. Then again, maybe I'm seeing it everywhere, too.

The more time I spend on these forums, the more each person I meet seems Aspie to me. I indeed started thinking that the NT-Aspie thing must be a continuum.

Well, it's not. You either grasp the non-verbal intuitively or you don't. There's no neurological middle. And all differences between NTs and Aspies start branching out from there.

Be careful assuming that the people you meet have a bit of AS in them. You may be sadly or painfully or tragically misled.

The one test I use to detect if someone is NT or Aspie is whether they rely on intuition for some of their social interactions and social decisions. Aspies can't and don't. If they don't seem to need to analyze social stuff, if they adamantly claim some untruths as unanalyzed gospel (society's need for white lies or pecking orders, for example), they're NOT Aspies. They may be socially awkward, but they don't share our view of the world, and ultimately, our (inevitable) honesty, loyalty and unbiased thinking.

Be careful not to assume that all socially awkward or outcast or loner or obsessive-hobbied people are honest, loyal and unbiased thinkers. They may have other reasons to be socially inept, reasons you'd better have nothing to do with.

I speak from direct experience.