Does your psychologist help you?

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Aspie 1 made a thread on his bad experience with a therapist. It made me think of the psychologist I once had, who didn't help me. It wasn't destructive or hurtful, it was nothing at all. She asked me questions on how I felt the past week and what happened at school. She only asked, but didn't gave much advice. When she did, it was useless- she came with open doors and obvious things I already considered myself. I was wondering how it was possible she actually studied and graduated in this stuff, she didn't seem to have any knowledge or skills I (or anyone else) didn't have.

So we talked every week for an hour on how I felt, but it was mostly less than an hour since there was not much to discuss and she didn't give any useful or helping advice. What was the whole point of it then? So I quit. It was nothing more than a complete waste of time and effort.

But how about you? Did your therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist have any actual use and value for the quality of your life?

Only in that seeing a therapist makes it less likely for a psychiatrist to randomly yank me off medications I need on the assumption that I'm just an addict looking for drugs, and don't have any real problems. Of course, therapy also makes me feel much worse and, therefore, make the medication less effective anyways..

I have tried out several over the years and mostly found them to be no good for me personally. The last one I had suited me well because I was able to know and pass on what I wanted from it. I was also in the fortunate position of being able to understand more about myself to begin with, simply because by then I had been diagnosed and had a full report so I had a very clear idea of what my limitations were/are.

I was also much more open and able to describe how I felt and what I thought, aided by pictures I drew when I couldn't quite explain things.

My own reflections at home when I re-considered the 'hour' were what I gained the most from in terms of insight, though even now I can see that there are blind spots in my understanding of others and situations, but I am not deterred, each new insight and piece of honest feedback from the therapist has helped in some way or another, even if it was only that I knew that I didn't want to talk about something or that I favoured some people or things over others.

The other thing about therapy is that the growth doesn't always happen whilst you are undergoing it, it can be months or years later that the benefits show, assuming your therapist was 'good enough'.

With pills, yeah. I take antidepressants. (It's a psychiatrist, though, not a psychologist.)

But when I try to explain anything beyond, specifically, how the pills are treating my depression on a given day, I get the feeling that he's almost scared; that he wants to "herd" the conversation back in to just...pills.

I almost never open up to my psychiatrist. (How ironic. It would...almost make a funny T-shirt, that comment. Kind of like the one that says "My support group told me to go to hell").

After years of "therapy" inflicted upon me as a kid, I found it to be totally useless and such "therapists" seemed to have more psychological problems than I had. It didn't take me long to realize what a money making racket "therapy" truly is and abandon
such "therapy" alltogether.

Psychiatrists are simply legalized drug pushers... and psychologists, social workers and other mental health professionals will
care about you only as long as your insurance (or your ability to pay their fees )doesn't give out.

I don't know yet, although i plan to give him a good chance, instead of fighting him at every oppurtunity.

Thats the approach I took. I so much wanted to understand more about myself and the world so that I could be more successful socially. I still can be slow on the uptake and I still take a while to work things out, but thing are so much better than before

Background- Me, 33 highly likely Aspergers, not diagnosed
- Spouse, 36, ADD-inattentive, diagnosed
- Son, 12, ADHD, LD language, likely Aspergers, going through process of diagnosis

4 years ago, after some family deaths, I decided that the 'normal' thing to do would be to get some therapy. I opted for the Employee Assistance Program through spouses work. 8 sessions. I went to the first 2... and felt that I wasn't being offered much (of course at this point, she was trying to get to understanding me. However, I felt defeated because I knew it would take her much, much more than 8 sessions total for her to even know me a little. I discontinued early so as not to waste BOTH of our time.
It was especially awkward, since I was detailing the deaths to her, but I wasn't seeking the typical 'feel better' kind of help. In fact, I wanted to understand why I felt so much, AND so little, all at the same time. Most of it consisted of her looking amazed that I didn't appear much worse for the wear.....sigh.

During this period, I was becoming increasingly agitated with the fact that I had suffered 4 losses in my immediate family, but was still in the position of having to 'think' of everything for my spouse. Basically, nothing even remotely phases him, unless I'm pounding it into him. My frustration lead to him seeing a psychiatrist to figure out why he in his 30's, still needed a constant 'mother' figure. Especially from someone who isn't very nurturing (me). He went into see the psychiatrist twice. Doctor prescribed concerta, which our insurance railed us for coverage of. I think Keith got fed up, even more inattentive, and stopped bothering. (which did nothing for him, myself or our son.

In grade 3, after our sons adhd diagnosis, we got him in right away to see the leading ADHD therapist in our city. He had the good old 8 sessions, outlined by our insurance. We brought him in for the 5th session (which I might add seemed to be going nowhere) and the therapist told us she could no longer work with our son due to a conflict of interest. Her reasoning was that she worked through Trent's school, this was the conflict. Sessions were ended.

At the same time, Keith and I were going to a parenting class rercommended by the school. We knew we were loving parents, but were also well aware that we may be handling things wrong. I have a low threshold for frustration. Keith has a way of keeping his head in the clouds. The class was fine and dandy, if you were raising neurotypical children. The things we learned were a benefit, just not to the degree we needed. There was nothing specific about dealing with kids who have ADHD. We felt pretty sidelined through the 8 weeks. There was a girl in this class who was autistic, as well as her son, I often wonder how she's doing, since it was SOOOO obvious that this class did nothing at all to zero in on her families needs.

2 years later, we began another parenting course through one of our local counselling centres. There were two other 'special needs' families in this one. The 8 weeks came & went, with none of us recieving any help geared at the special needs of our families. Again, I'm sure this would have been an great course for typical families, with typical struggles. So we went, we persisted, got our goofy little certificates, with next to no impact on our personal lives. During this class, our kids would sit & do crafts in another room, so our son REALLY got absolutely nothing from this.

In the last year & a half, our son has been seeing the only child psychiatrist in the city. In the past year and a half this doctor has done nothing but take my son on a medicated rollercoaster ride. He has spent no time one on one with Trenton, and when we do go, he seems to busy to hear our concerns. His main agenda is PILLS, PILLLS, PILLS.

Through one of our local organizations for kids with neurological disorders, we waited for 2 1/2 years for some 'intensive' in home family counselling. GREAT!! ! I thought. And it was, however, the girl on our case was new in the field. I pretty much spent most of our time informing her of everything I already knew. She worked with Trent 2 or 3 times to become more self aware. There were at least 4 appointments cancelled by her, which were never made up for. The best thing about this situation was that our son felt like he had someone on his side. She was very good at hearing him (which says a lot for a kid who has such difficulty expressing himself.) We told her how we used a whiteboard to list all the things that Trent needed to accomplish in a day, adding others where needed, and that this worked well for him. So, she decided that we should use a PECS system with him. To me this almost seemed like doing exactly what we'd already been doing, but moving backwards, since reading isn't an issue for Trent, especially not at this point, when he was 11.


So now, here we sit, having almost NO freaking clue what to do next. And left feeling like all the help in the world, isn't help at all.

I laughed out loud when I read this, I hear ya!! !! I want a T-shirt!

I feel exactly the same way. The best therapy I've recieved is using my own resources to find great groups like this.

The majority I have seen made me feel worse. One was good, so I saw her a few years later, but she had no clue about AS and wouldn't help. Most thought all the issues were due to early trauma.

I always end up having to teach and inform them, not the other way around, and have lost count of the number of times I've written or printed out the relevant information to show them. Most were completely unaware that mental health issues are not only rooted in nurture, and it shocks me that they are not required to keep up-to-date on such matters or to even be aware of them.

And therein lies the problem. An NT psychologist is going to equate non-psychologically motivated ASD stuff as psychologically motivated anyway. He or she simply can not believe that a person would wear a flat affect or be "closed off" emotionally (as he or she sees it), or socially different, unless due to trauma or a chemical imbalance. Period.

Compounding the misunderstanding, many of us do have deep psychological issues, due to our treatment as people who are "different"--not the other way around--but the psych will then think, "Aha! See? I KNEW there was something psychologically amiss in there. Let me concentrate on that".

More ASD people should go into social work but unfortunately that would pretty much be the opposite of what an autie would gravitate to for the most part. Psychologists mean well and truly feel they can "heal" a non-NT person of his or her, well, non-NT-ness but to me, that's like trying to "heal" myself of having hazel eyes. It's not a perfect analogy as having hazel eyes doesn't make people think I'm bizarre, decrease my job chances or make me more socially inept, but you get the idea.

My current psychologist helped me greatly, by introducing me to AS. None of the ones I had seen during the 36 years before her knew anything about AS, apparently. You also mention psychiatrists in your post. I've had some of those too. Needless to say, they were not helpful. One psychiatrist even kept me locked up in a mental ward for a month and made me take psychotropic drugs. I should sue his ass for negligence. Of course that's not possible since courts always give psychiatrists the benefit of the doubt.

Exactly. Psychiatrists aren't required to have studied psychology. Pharmaceuticals are their livelyhood. Since there's nothing they can prescribe for AS, many psychiarists refuse to recognise it. If you are on the autistic spectrum, I suggest seeking help from a psychologist instead of the pill-pusher.

No. They're useless. They just ask me questions about feelings I can't describe or identify and stare at me and everything is "that's okay!".

Yes I agree, lots of them have read the theory and try to apply it so you have to do this [/quote]I always end up having to teach and inform them, not the other way around, and have lost count of the number of times I've written or printed out the relevant information to show them. Most were completely unaware that mental health issues are not only rooted in nurture[/quote]

Therapy, unless its advisory, can only work if you have learned to reflect somewhat I think. It would have been a waste of time on me years ago.

Does, very good too.

My therapist is an ASD therapist though!

These people are bound to know lots about all kids of autism and the mechanics of autism and a bit about several co-morbid conditions, quite a lot about laws, some about medications, a lot about how to solve autistic problems...

the list goes on.

Besides:

to avoid bad experiences is why you should see ASD specialists/professionals (of which some can be bad too, it's human variety) and if you can't see one, you should know you're most likely in for a lot of problems with your regular psychologist, therapist or psychiatrist.

It's expected that it will suck to talk about autism with someone who doesn't - and isn't expected to because it's so extremely rare and would steal time from leaning about more important and more common disorders - know about it.