What stresses you out the most about your autism?

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Okay so I noticed I'm overall a happy, stimmy, person, i dont have any anxiety, but the only thing that bothers me the most especially about being autistic for me, is not being able to understand much. I dont understand things that are even written on here, so i dont reply, or i have ppl read them to me in simpler terms for me to understand jus a tinyest bit. I dont understand much, nobody can take the time and try to teach me everything, my brain doesnt work like that, 65 % of the time i dont have any thoughts going through my head, sad i know, just off in lala land literally lol. So when it comes time to trying to do something beyond my capacity, its soo frustrating, to actually know you dont understand no matter what, and you see everybody pick it up, and do so well, and your sitting there wondering wtf i cant get this . If i dont walk away from the task ill slam my head so hard until blood goes everywhere or i knock myself out, and it stresses me out big time. Like tonight i have sign language homework, no matter what i dont understand, but even normal tutoring wont help, because you need to be able to work with autsitics, because if i become frustrated ill attack myself or others, i dont understand that it hurts them, dont understand what is going on a lot of the time, and its hard to work with me, so im literally stuck, yea it sucks . Cognitively i know i'm impaired, my thoughts, my understanding, my reasoning skills, there all poor, except my reasoning skills are getting better not the best but better. And I know this, and no matter what i dont understand, and thats the biggest thing i wish i could cure on my autism, i want the ability to understand what everybody else understands, the ability to cognitively function at the same level as everybody else . What stresses everybody else out the most about your autism

Probably my bad social skills. I want to talk to people and make new friends, but my autism makes it hard to do that since I struggle knowing what to say and what to do, and often it makes me look strange or weird.

Age, I went through the same thing when I was younger.

I'm make myself a list of what stresses me out, lol

Not knowing the meaning to words some people use. I feel like I have to constantly run to a dictionary.
Thinking 'why is that supposed to be funny'?
Not getting maths.
Not understanding what I read (usually scientific).
When I'm out and I want to talk more but find it impossible.
Being at a concert and annoyed by noise and feeling uncomfortable in groups.
People (especially) family not understanding that I'm different to them.
Getting out of bed in the morning.

The thing that stresses me out the most is knowing that people are thinking I'm weird, or angry, or mean, or 'evil', etc.

Funny thing is, I never used to realize it. Somehow my mind made it all about isolated instances. "Well sure, that probably looked weird. Okay, there I can see they'd say I was a jerk..."

But I never really connected the dots until I learned about Aspergers. Used to be an up and down anxiety, where I'd feel good after a while. Now, when I feel good, I know I'm probably being obnoxious to other people because I can't really pay attention to how I'm "supposed" to be.

Basically, I'm saying that I can't be myself anymore, because myself is what was causing the problem! That's not so good at all. Better for others now that I "get it", but not so good for me since I still don't get what I'm supposed to be.

you didnt understand anything either, my understanding can get as bad as like for example, i wanted some honey so i instantly know from memory everything has to be in same place or its lost in my mind lol, so i try to pour it in that plate in front of me, wont come out i get upset and start headbanging, i need soembody to come over and prompt me to explain that the cap was still on, idk where the heck my brain goes, but i sure would like to find out haha, because stuff like that happens all the time, and next time ill go through the same process, my thinking and cognitive reasoning skills are very poor or should i say absent lol because my brain is never where its suppose to be haha. Also i dont understand anything ppl use or understand why ppl smile or laugh but gave up trying to figure out haha, and cant understand the dictonary really unless somebody puts it in pictures then im good with it heheh.

I don't have this as severly as you do (no headbanging, what I do is more like a silent tantrum/violent stimming...usually I can control this when I'm in front of other people, but sometimes i can't and I either have to leave and go somewhere by myself so that I can have my tantrum or I throw things - usually whatever has been frustrating me)

I know what you mean though, my mind seems to wander off and I have trouble with simple tasks, it's really frustrating.

It's worse when I'm tired or stressed, then I have to concentrate so hard to understand people that it's actually painful and my head hurts.

I don't think stress is the right word for me, but i'd really like to be able to live independantly, i'd like to be able to use telephones, get myself a job. When my parents are older, i'd like to be able to look after them, like they've looked after me. At this rate however, i don't see it happening.

If people are really thinking badly about me and are giving certain signals that Im just not reading. It gets me into trouble a lot cause whenever I get the feeling that somethings wrong, its either the person dosent wanna admit it to me or nothings wrong and being paranoid.

Exactly! And how can you discern between the two? I just can't. That's the whole problem. So it keeps building up in worry/anxiety. No solution. If I try to bring it up with people, it goes bad because I'm so anxious. If I don't, I stress out that I should have done something.

Its so much easier to not care about people, let them have their normal. I don't want to figure it out, it can't possibly be worth all that effort.

Being stuck in the present moment and not being unable to draw on memories to confirm wether a situation is pleasurable or stress inducing ( with the exception of extreme past events that cross over into a senory experience , I can draw on those ).

Adhering to a routine even if it is detrimental to myself, for example I routinely go to a local 'social club' to play pool every monday, the people there cause me stress, but I like pool, I really pay for it though, I need to spend at least 2 days on my own, in the dark, zoning out to recover...

Not understanding 'grey' area's in conversations, basically not understanding any 'grey' areas in any aspect of life...

Failing to fulfill the seemingly endless requirements that need to be maintained in order to sustain relationships with people...

Yeah, its gradients, everything is somehow between A and B. I can do A, and I can do B... but how can they expect me to figure out the exact decimal place in between them they're looking for? Not a question of smiling or not smiling, but a question of smiling just the right amount. Impossible. Just makes me more confused trying to pinpoint where, so that I lose whether I should be doing it at all.



Bingo. There must be an easier way. Surely this "NT" thing can't be real life.

Frankly. The knowledge that I'll never really fit in no matter how hard I try. The need to "belong" is real for anyone...NT or AS. Knowing that I'll always feel like an outsider and probably will be an outsider bothers me.

The fact that I suck at life.

Ditto



Ditto again

Impairment, I suppose. Not social, well, not social in the sense where I lack social ability, but my need for strict routine and a lot of isolation adsorbed in my interests to regenerate energy expended, being the key areas of impairment.

With me, everything is various shades of hard; not being able to help those I care for to the level I want to grates on me, as it's hard enough just living day to day for myself.

In college, I used to feel bad knowing that I never had the skills to be able to successfully pick someone up from a bar or a club. It's strange that this would bother me because the idea never appealed to me to begin with. Fortunately, though, that's no longer a relevant issue whatsoever, as I am very happily married.

I think the most annoying thing (which can sometimes be stressful) is that I have a habit of unconsciously putting objects down in strange places, then not remembering where I put them. This has made me late on several occasions.