Does this count as a diagnoses?

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Speaking to my Dad, I confessed that I was sure I'm aspie. He knows about my son, and I was hoping I wouldn't get the same lecture about "victim mentality" and feeling sorry for myself as last time.

However, the conversation went differently from what I expected. He tells me that I was diagnosed with autism when I was about three and a half, and he'd ignored it because at the time he didn't know what it meant, and thought the doctor was an idiot.

Apparently I was non verbal, apart from reading, I rocked, hand flapped, and didn't respond "normally."

When I started talking in sentences a few months after the diagnoses my Dad saw himself as vindicated, and never brought me back to see a doctor about this. I do remember him being very frustrated with me over various things I now consider "aspie." It puts my relationship with him as a child on a different level. I see now that he was trying to protect me, since he thought I'd end up being put in a box and classified.

He's understood since then that things aren't so bad for those with an aspie/autie diagnoses.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not autie, but aspie seems to fit.

So... should I change my profile and say that I was diagnosed? I can't remember it happening. And it was a "wrong" diagnoses.

But there were obviously things that triggered alarm bells when I was younger.

Also, should I go and get a formal diagnoses now?

It sounds to me like you've already been diagnosed, and "autism" seems to fit you better than "aspergers" considering the information you've given about your younger life. Wether you go about getting diagnosed again depends on how functional you are, will you be needing access to extra help? If not, i don't see any point in getting a renewed diagnosis.

I wish I could give you a definetive answer, but ithink i'm in a similar situation to yourself.
All through school, i was the strange kid sat in the corner, sucking my thumb and playing with my ear with the other hand
However, unlike you, i don't think i was DXed as a kid, and also i would not rule out "Classic" autism for myself.

It wasn't wrong. Aspegers means you have autistic symptoms, and you learnt to talk late and didn't respond much to your enviroment as an infant so you were diagnosed with autism.
Your diagnosis on this forum should therefore be the 'other autism spectrum disorder'.

Okay... thank you guys.

I'm pretty functional I think. I've got a job, manage okay with other people. I can't recognise faces very well, which makes people think I'm being rude to them, especially if I've known them for ages, and when I get overwhelmed I have to struggle a little to not show my differences. My current job is very stressful, and I'm worried about my colleagues finding out.

My mother used to do "role playing" with me, to get me used to conversing with normal people. I remember her teaching me to look at the bridges of people's noses when I spoke to them, so it looked like I was making eye contact, and I went to a drama group where I learned expressions, body language, etc, though my default position is to have them switched off I can "pretend" in public. So, I "look" pretty normal. But it is a constant struggle when not in my own home not to ... well, I've learned here that the correct word is "stim". My hands still flap when I'm stressed, and I pull/twist my fingers, etc, and have some stylised hand washing gestures (I've got it down from obsessive washing to stylised washing gestures with a handkerchief, which I can do under a desk).

I went to martial arts and dance to try and improve my posture and gait, and I think it's okay now, though still a bit unique. I can't drive at all, and may need to one day. It stresses me out to think of driving though.

mgran, it sounds like your parents did the perfect things for you, albeit inadvertently on your dad's part.

From what I understand, the only significant difference at this time between an Asperger's Dx and HFA Dx is the acquisition of language... as yours was delayed, technically you'd be HFA. But due to appropriate therapy from your mom and wise choices on your part, you have learned skill sets to enable you, rather than disable you.

Knowing that you're on the autism spectrum just gives you more info to enable yourself, understanding what you need to deal with stress and realistic understanding of difference and limitations.

It can be a profound frame shift, but so very freeing...

your mom sounds like an awesome parent!

She was indeed. Sadly she died when I was a teenager, but she certainly looked after me.

My Dad did too, but it took him longer to accept me as I am. I remember him for example trying to talk me into "being normal". He said to me when I was about twelve that I wasn't making an effort, and was "pretending to be odd to get attention." Then he warned me that "one day you'll wake up, and you really will be the weirdo." I had no idea what he was talking about.

I understand now that he was frustrated, and didn't know how to handle me. Fortunately Mum was much more patient with me. And to both of them, of course, I was their princess. At least I've always known that I'm loved.

mgran:
I was exactly like you. The only thing though I was not delayed, actually I was extremely early in speech, my first word at 8 months old, my first sentence at 9 months, At 18 months, i stopped talking when my sister came home from the hospital. She was actually born when I was 17 months old, but was a premature baby and had to stay a few weeks.
I stopped talking, rocked, hand flapped and was withdrawn(only to family, but wanted friends and had lots of them), but I did respond though.The only thing that regress was the speech. Everything else, including toilet training was early or normal. I even was doing a lot of progressing, especially in my self-help skills during the whole time, even before i got evaluated. I did not qualify for autism, so I got Atypical Autism. This was back in 1982, so that is the closet they had.
In 1999, I went to therapy and because I had my social-emotional issues and was emotional immature and had the Asperger symptoms, so they diagnosed me with Asperger's Syndrome. So now I am okay with my Asperger's diagnosis. Here where I live they go by IQ, cognitive abilities, independent skills, and other things to determine between Asperger's and HFA. Since I do not have any cognitive or learning problems, and I have great independent living skills. That is why I was diagnosed with Asperger's. Plus it is possible to grow out of the autism/HFA and become diagnosed with Asperger's.

Thank you Psygirl... it helps to read of someone whose experience was so similar to mine. I'm a little annoyed that my Dad never told me... I think he thought there would be a stigma attached, and he was trying to do the best for me, but my life could well have been easier if I'd known that there was a reason why I always felt alienated.

However, I managed to get through it, and I'm still here. That's the main thing.

Maybe yes, maybe no. There are an awful lot of people here on these boards that wish their parents hadn't told them because of the 'label' effect. It may well be because you had no label attached to you, you were better able to just be the person you were as a kid, learning how to deal with growing up just like any other kid. That's what I meant when I said he may have helped you inadvertently.

It seems like your mom accepted the Dx, educated herself about how she could help you, and did. But she also didn't label you.

Labels can be so harmful...