Relax with your life under the spectrum.

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I have been a member of the WrongPlanet since my diagnosis of Asperger's in November of 2008. It was a relatively clear cut diagnosis---it was like with each criteria---"yeah, that's definitely me." I have always stated that upon learning of AS I felt like I was looking in a mirror---for the first time in my life. I really didn't need the official diagnosis---but yet I wanted it. And I got it. I am officially diagnosed with AS.

Then after the diagnosis, I began questioning certain things to which I have posted to on the WP in the past months. But each time, I and others, including my therapist, looked at these questions and they strengthened my knowledge of the AS in me.

So now what? It's time to relax with AS. I have analyzed every aspect I can think of about AS in my life. My therapist has analyzed it too. We have even watched old home movies of me as a child, and a speech expert has listened to audio tapes of me as a child---and there it is---AS. I am honestly satisfied with having AS.

What I am saying to those of you here at the WP who have AS or other spectrum differences---let's just relax with our lives the best that we can. I know I have parenting issues (I need to interact more with my sons), etc. that I could improve upon---but I have say, "I am doing the best I can at this time in my life...and I will try to be better...but I have to relax."

As I am typing this right now, there are four-wheelers with noisy motors in the distance climbing the hills behind my house that no one else probably notices. But to me---they are as loud as the clicking of the keys on my laptop. Oh...and in my youngest son's room next door he is watching Tom and Jerry on his DVD player. It is equally as loud to me although he actually has the volume turned down. I just have extreme sensory issues. I can't do anything about them...so I just have to try to relax and go on the best I can.

My special intense interests have always dominated my life---they still do. I often feel that if you took away those interests I would be a vegetable. I don't know what I would do without them. The thought of not living my life around those interests scares me. But, I have to relax.

I have anxiety issues brought about by AS. Many of you also have anxiety. But we have to relax. I know this is easier said than done...but we have to make an effort...it is very important that no matter how rough life can get---we have to relax. I have a half-dozen really bothersome issues in my life right now that is adding to anxiety in my life. But I am making efforts to relax as I realize I have done all I can with these issues right now---they will work out however they are going to work out. If they don't work out as I hope they will---well---life is going to move on---I have to relax.

So please, everyone here...make time in your life to relax---even if it is only a few minutes each day. We deserve that don't we?

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Agreed I am fully happy being who I am and feel sorry for those who are sad about it, I am excited about my diagnosis as I know proetty much everything about my personal hisotry to allow a psychologist a decent image and something towards the DSM which I have personally checked and get a lot ticked
from that day on if everything as as it is determined I can live my life with pride I can now but with closure. It has never worried me being different though it only shocks me tht some are really unhappy with themselves

I wish i could relax with it, but until i get my official DX i feel like a fraud, i have been refered but think my recent severe depression and anxiety issues may have somehow masked that i am socialy inadequate.
i've had enough of being abused by strangers when i'm in public

I am slowly learning to relax. I recently had "doctor's orders" to try to do so. It feels unnatural.

DON'T! It is a person's neural wiring that puts them on the spectrum, not the wave of the hand of some shrink or other "expert." Besides autism, I have had many other diagnosis that I know are incorrect. An "expert's" diagnosis is only the opinion of that "expert." An average layman can just as easily look at the DSM-IV and decide upon the diagnosis his or her self.

I'm not shy, it's more that i haven't got a clue what to say to people, me trying to talk to a stranger usualy goes like this for example "Hi! brown shoes huh? i bet their comfortable!" to which the reply goes a bit like "Right!?! " just before they make a rapid exit.
I want to express my natural behaviour, just in a way that doesn't atract so much abuse.
I've tried to stop myself stimming and saying random words/sounds in public, but i'm pretty sure that's what caused my depression and anxiety.

^ Yes, not trying as hard to conceal natural behaviours does decrease anxiety. I dawdle, space out and rock a little in public without trying to hide it so much now; my anxiety levels have plummeted.

I was diagnosed when I was small, but acceptance and acknowledgment of such has decreased alot of stress and frustration lately because it is makes sense as to being the reason I am who I am.

You speak of the simple matter of "acceptance."

If you have AS, nothing will change that fact, and fretting over it won't make any difference. You can learn to better manage living with AS, but you can't get rid of it, so just accept that you have AS and make the best of what you have.

it really is incredible. my primary diagnosis was anxiety disorder, my psychiatrist (for whom i have little respect) advised therapy for anxiety.

instead, i took matters into my own hands, identified/analysed/acknowledged behaviours where i was desperately trying to hide AS/ADD traits, and thought of other things i could do instead, including doing those traits and seeing if it actually bothered other people (which it didn't as much as i had seemed to think it would). i'm still struggling, but i'm MUCH less anxious-avoidant now, and at least now i know what the AS/ADD things i have to work on are.

maybe i obsessed about AS on the way, but at least now i know for absolute certain that i'm neither moderate functioning nor NT, and it's so overlearned now that i care less and less whether or not people know that i have an "alternative neurology" (which leaves you feeling hugely different as a freshly diagnosed aspie). i am who i am (they can tell you this from beginning to end but you have to know it for yourself) and that's where i'm working to improve from, whether i like it or not or whether they like it or not.

and i didn't spend money on that clin psych either. score! yay for learning how to relax!

How strangely like myself! That's me exactly. Waiting to get an official diagnosis, and, while not doubting the existence of AS in my life, I need doctors to back me up so I can get everyone else around me to finally get it.

glider18,
I really hear what you're talking about. I only found out about AS in December 2008, so I've been on relatively the same trajectory when it comes to reckoning with it all. Of course, it was the biggest relief, and an earth-shattering realization and reorganization of everything I've ever thought about myself. In that sense, it's great. And I really admire your positive attitude towards your struggles. I wish I could be more like that. I suppose that is my goal... facing the difficulties of a life laced with autism, and being positive about it. For the last 7 months, I've just been an anxious wreck. For me, the realization of AS did absolutely nothing for me. Now I'm very aware of all the problems I have, whereas before, I was blissfully ignorant to them. My hope is to finally get the support I've needed all along... accommodations for sensory issues, a proper living situation, realistic viewpoints of me from family and others. Perhaps then I can relax

This is true. To relax with having AS means to accept it. You're not going to get rid of it (although you adapt to life better), so what other choice than to accept it. It's either that or commit suicide, and I don't think anyone wants to do that.

I know the feeling..I am "assessed" as having Asperger's and the center where the AS specialist assessed me recently had their funding cut..due to the economy...and I think they might be shutting down.

One thing that seems to detract from the validity of my assessment was that it was free...She just told me that I could treat it as a diagnosis..because she had assessed 100's of potentials and could tell right off that I was one...and I only had to pay the 2-grand for the report if I really felt like it.

I am somewhat relaxed with the fact that I have been "different" all my life...and I think I know there is a reason why...but I still feel uneasy about my semi-diagnosis...even though I really feel like AS diagnoses should be free...

I am somewhat able to relax because I am sorta surrounded by my small group of neuro-eccentric friends...but I don't stop dreading the possibility of bad stuff happening for various reasons and the possibility of my one day going to jail or having to get a "normal" job again...and I am somewhat less prepared for that than ever before.

I'm relaxing with my AS too. I've been through social anxiety, depression, anger issues and now I'm just a chilled AS kid.
My concert photography was put on hold because of my sensory issues. It's hard to get through a night of loud guitars and screaming fans, but I grit my teeth and do it. Now I hope that I can continue with my gift because it's something that I'm really good at and other people like it too.
I've fine with my social awkwardness, I don't push it anymore. I can't come up with anything to say...oh well. I'm just happy to accept me as me. I told my mum 'I like me' when she said I should get out more. I don't want to force myself into more social awkwardness - that's I developed social anxiety. I just want to stay home and write or play with my dog. Anyway I will eventually go out if I want to photograph concerts.
I have friends I talk to online and I sometimes meet up with them. I don't always want to do that because of the pressure, but knowing that it's a possibility puts my mind at ease. I don't even want to date anymore, or see my ex which is a great step forward.

I have to get an 'official' diagnosis from a psychiatrist because my psychologist wasn't qualified enough, but I don't care much. I know I have AS and possibly ADHD-I.

Nice post, glider.


One thing I've improved on recently is openness about my 'quirks' - not giving people my AS label, but openly talking about my weird habits and laughing them off. I figure if I learn to accept my eccentricity, others will be able to follow suit.

As for relaxing... I find myself in a relaxed mental state every now and then, and it's in those moments that I'm actually pleasant and.. well, at ease. If only I could always be internally relaxed. 'Twould be teh awesome.

Is it so bad to want a confirmation from someone who's studied psychology formally? You live in your own mind. You can't look at it from the outside in. Your friends and family aren't unbiased observers. If you want any sort of assistance or accommodation, you need a formal diagnosis. All those things point to asking an expert. Yes, experts can be incorrect, but if you are making any glaring mistakes in your self-diagnosis, they can point those out too. Psychologists are fallible, but so are you. A second opinion--from someone who is not involved in the situation as much as you are--is valuable!