Having a life/being fun

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Imagine this scenario: You walk into a building for a social gathering, you eend up sitting with people who are very friendly, every one at the table is more interested in you than anyone else and you become friends with all of them. You made a great first impression. Now what? Movies, food, activities like paintball and sports are good ideas, but they only take you so far and are somewhat superficial. A lot of people in the high school and college age range love these activities, but their social life is more than that.

Let's continue with the scenario. You are at the house of one of these friends that you met at the gathering and talking about what you do for fun. You have limited interests, and it is difficult (even with the greatest determination) to learn to do new things (like a new sport). The fact is you have no life and are usually home by 9, if that late. While other college students are out doing typical college things, your at home watching TV and on the internet. So when your friends ask what you like to do for fun or what you did on the weekend. Despite a good first impression, if others see you as a boring person, because you don't do anything when on your own, they may think that if they come over to your house or hang out with you elsewhere, they will be bored.

My question is two-fold. Part one, what kind of things would be good to do with college age friends other than what I mentioned in the first paragraph? Part two, if you have a weekend (or even a longer period of time, like the summer) where you didn't really do anything other than sit around the house, how do you make your life seem more interesting, with out lying outright?

Ideas/answers to what I asked=helpful Saying I don't know but that sounds like me=not helpful

Travelling is a great escape, when you are abroad you desperately need people to help you out, at least to find your way back to your hotel ,
then you meet people like you (tourists) lost...And sometimes locals can be friendly ...

And there is always something new to discover...to do


Unfortunately this scenario ends on the way back home....so keep travelling forever

Last edited by Pascal on 08 Jul 2009, 1:09 am, edited 2 times in total.

Having a life is first and foremost important for YOU. Why do you do nothing? If it's depression, could you get professional help to alleviate it?

I used to think that I don't have a life, but then realized that the things I do on my own constitute very much a life, even though they're not shared with other humans. So I made a list of the things that I do when I'm alone all weekend, and realized I had lots to talk about and contribute: taught myself how to make sushi - taught myself Photography from the web - participated in WP forums - discovered a new lovely corner at the park - rented a wonderful movie - whatever. Then people want to hear from me how to make sushi and where to buy the fish, tips for better photos, have a picnic in that lovely place in the park, whatever. So I ask - are you sure you do NOTHING interesting on weekends?

I have things to do on the weekend, and sometimes they interest other people. However, it seems as though you are right about having a life being for that individual, if one's life isn't as eventful as most people, it can seem disinteresting to others. To some extent, it shouldn't matter what others think, but when attempts at socialization are made, there is an expectation (perhaps a subconscious expectation) that people have at least a somewhat interesting life when they are not with that person so experiences discussed and knowledge exchanged at a later time.

That's very true indeed. Nobody likes someone who doesn't have a life except with them. I don't either.

However, I remember I used to always say "nothing special" when asked about my weekend, because I didn't count the things I did alone as worthy of comment. It was by chance that people discovered the things I did on the weekend and started telling me (and each other): "Greentea has the most exciting weekends!" It was only then that I started seeing that indeed, I do have a life, albeit on my own.

Another reason I never used to comment on my weekend was that I thought my pastimes were too "off" for people to find them interesting. Turned out there were others around me who were into the same things (photographing monasteries, teaching themselves complex recipes, etc. etc.) and I didn't know!

Are there any things you do in your spare time that might, just might spark an interest in others?

Again, there are some things that I do for fun and some of these things people find interesting. I am looking for new ideas for things to do with friends, besides what I already do and am already interested in. I can look at my interests and expand on them, but I want more. The other thing I am looking for are ideas on how to manage self-PR and seem more interesting.

i am broke and unemplyed and 10000$ in debt and 19... my life cant be boring but i am happy with it...to answer your question... dating is a great excape altough i havnt found anyone...talking to women gives you the feeling they will take you away from the problems...and music and martial arts is a great way to esxcape

A good example from a while back of my interests not matching mostt my age that would cause me to look for additional things would be when I transferred to a high school and some of the students asked me what I like to do when I am at home and I replied watch MSNBC. That drew quite a bit of attention and none of it good.

Better than CSpan


While many people may not watch MSNBC, I'm sure they would love to talk about some of the topics MSNBC hits. As far as activities, it depends on the people. Some college students love parties, some love concerts, some love sports, and some are outdoors type. NT's I guess have their "special interests" as well, but they tend to be a little more broad and normal I guess (like hunting as opposed to WWII). It's hard to give you any specific ideas without background info on the type of people you are wanting to propose these ideas to.

Watching Question Period on C-PAC (Canadian version of C-SPAN) is quite interesting....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBr1bCHo8pQ[/youtube]

Yes, their social life is more than that but that's because as well as doing the things you call superficial, they probably have close friends and/or boyfriends or girlfriends that they go and do other things with. What I've noticed is that a lot of people that age don't necessarily get together and do structured activities like movies, food or sports but they just 'hang out' either at the mall, the beach or a pub (if they're old enough to drink alcohol). That's probably the reason why they are out late and you think that you have no life.



As I said before, a lot of them just spend time together doing unstructured activities. If in the first scenario you are talking about your own experience, if these friends of yours invite you somewhere then accept the offer. If they don't ask you to go somewhere with them for a while then invite them to do something with you, even if it's just playing playstation, xbox or ordering some pizza.

I'm not sure how to make my life seem more interesting without lieing. If someone asks what I've been doing I just tell them the truth.

Life is Life. Bad life Good life Rich life Poor life. Only you get to judge your own life, and tell everybody else "that's just, like, your opinion, man" channel The Dude and roll with it. Activities are as superficial as the people performing them. If the things you are doing feel superficial, it is because you are only doing them superficially. That might not be a bad thing. If what I really want to do is talk with somebody but I don't want to sit around, we perform the activity of going for a walk. If I was putting on my Game Face then I would be walking in a more focused athletic manner. Since I'm tying to talk to somebody it is a relaxed and casual stroll, a dare I say superficial meandering about with no objective other than to have meandered and walked and talked.

The activity is meant to be superficial to make space for that social life part of it. You toss around the rock and shoot some H-O-P-E and help your buddy get over that breakup. You go to some cheesy movie that you don't really care about the plot you just want a few good scenes and a chance to spend some time with your girl, cuddle and kiss and laugh together, which is exactly what you would be doing at home but hey sometimes you just want to get out of the house and be somewhere different. You go to the mall with a group of friends to hang out at the food court and practice your creative writing skills making up stories about the people you see. Or discuss the music you like and turn each other on to hot new cuts.

I like to watch C-SPAN and C-SPAN2. Sometimes I want to hear a Congressional debate or hearing and sometimes they have things such as an interview with Jon Stewart that was part of his book tour as I recall. I also am a Public Broadcasting Junkie; Newshour with Jim Lehrer, The Nightly Business Report, and Washington Weekly(Can I get a Hell Yah for Gwen Eiffel up in?) will keep you very well informed.

There is a significant portion of college age kids that eat this stuff up and would love a chance to flex their political chops, but you tend to find the MSNBC watching type, or at least find appropriate situations discuss politics with those that are, at political rallies and doing activism work or on the internet, not at the pizza joint or cinema and playing paint ball. There is an even more significant portion of college age kids that think civil service is like totally lame. There's also the political bias aspect of making the statement "I like to watch MSNBC", some people are automatically making judgments of you based on how you are declaring you inform yourself. I would make the prediction that you consider yourself a moderate or centrist within your party if not a Libertarian, highly partisan individuals are going to react negatively to you being a "fence sitter" and want to force you into a polemic extreme and drink the partisanship kool-aid after making the same prediction I'm making. Of course I make it as a loose prediction largely in illustration of a point, I know super progressives who primarily watch fox news.

You didn't really do anything other than sit around the house, sure, but what did you really do other than sit around the house? If that is actually what you did, I am interested. Sincerely. I meditate like a mofo, I Sit and Sit as a past time. Crazy things happen when you don't do anything. If you can pull off some advanced meditative techniques that are allowing you to just sit around the house for an entire summer, that is hardcore. However I suspect you actually DID do something other than sit around the house.

You make your life seem more interesting by being interested in life. Stop worrying about what you are supposed to be doing and go do what you Know, Be who you Are. Find out what you do that other people are interested in by listening to them talk about what they do that you are interested in. Go do that thing they do that you are interested in with them. You now do a thing and have a person that is interested in that thing to talk about it with. Together you will meet more people interested in thing, you will find other things you want to do with some of them, the cycle will continue, life will go on, eventually people die. That is all there is to it.

There will be horror and tragedies you can't close your eyes to. You have to keep them open so you can see all of the beauty and wonders. The only way to not have a life is to refuse to accept the one you have. Accept your Life and everything else takes care of itself.

I leave you with the wise words of Joe Walsh:
Everybody's so different, I haven't changed
They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
I keep on goin' guess I'll never know why
Life's been good to me so far

I should add that I didn't mean CSpan to be something bad. I don't watch it anymore because sadly, and embarrasingly, it ticks me off too much. But I do have a funny story with it.

So, I'm watching my friends kids who were probably 4 and 5 at the time for all night one night. I couldn't get the boys to go to sleep for the life of me. They kept begging to watch TV, and I hate to say no to kids, so I picked the channels. I first put it on the news, and they were getting into it asking me 10 million questions. Then I tried golf, same thing. They made golf seem as exciting to watch as football. I tried a poker tournament, same thing. Then a fishing show, even worse. Then, I put it on C-Span and they were out cold within minutes.

I wonder if this has happened to me a little, I always answer 'nothing' or 'just relaxing'. It is sometimes people I don't like (so I don't want to share anyway), but generally I don't think anybody will be interested - apart from WP, reading, painting and things that aren't interesting (groceries, talking to my family). To be fair, reading anything even remotely semi-serious is the sort of thing you keep to yourself, as if it were a shameful secret, in my (very anti-intellectual) peer group, and my peers when I was growing up were the same, so I kind of automatically assume no one wants to know. I've actually 'gotten better' and my peers at least know I draw and paint, but I don't talk about it. I don't want to 'come out' as AS so I don't talk about WP.

This almost sounds like me. Once in a while, especially during summer I try to make a list of things to do or learn. Like watch these movies or read these books or learn how to make this, etc. I don't know about lying, I'd say just find something to do, and if it happens to be something that your peers are interested in, then you'll have something in common. Join a club and/or get involved in things at school, as long as they're things that interest you. I'm probably in the minority of the college kids that doesn't go out and party, but I've discovered that there are students who aren't into that scene either. And even if you make friends with people that do like to go out and do that, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the only thing they're interested in. And even then, there's the chance that you won't develop a friendship with these people, and when that happens to me, I kind of assume that it's just a lack of chemistry or something. Or maybe it's a matter of time. One of my closest friendships took years to develop, so don't get discouraged.

I think this depends on the people themselves, because most of the students at my school seem to be into the arts and like going to movies or shows. And they also do volunteer projects, I imagine you can meet alot of people doing that if that's something you would want to do. I worked at my school's alumni reunion this summer and met alot of other students, so that was nice.

Yes, politics will definitely do that.