Something about NT's that bothers me

Post Reply New Topic

Now I'm not very anti-NT, in fact I stopped calling them NT because I made good friends with some. And come on we all bleed the same blood.

Last night I was on a music forum, dominated by mostly opinionated NT's.
One person was complaining about people who still ask if they were a person over the phone when they clearly gave their name at the start of the conversation.

Example:
"Hello, so and so speaking"
"Is this ....?"
"No it's so and so, like I said before."

Basically that was it.
I was fine with it, I even replied that I often do that (I was calling my friend Marcus and a girl answers and I asked "is that Marcus?'). So, the poster said a sarcastic remark to that. That was ok.
But then more replies were like 'oh i hate that' and 'yeah those people really piss me off'.

Now I was thinking 'fair go, I'm like this and know others who are a bit anxious on the phone.' I was getting a bit sick of them going on about it.

Also, last night someone was like 'thanks as*hole' sarcastically-like to me. It still hurt though and was on my mind all night. I'm ok now, but was quite upset last night. Is there a quicker way to just not get so bothered by it?

So last night I realised that even though these people are my friends they can still make me feel really hopeless about myself.

I would think being treated like that would feel like suddenly being shoved from behind. I guess people do it because they don't have to take responsibility. I'm like you, my feelings would be hurt even though I knew the people didn't know who I was. In this world it seems like a fair-minded kind person is considered weak.

How people feel about you is a choice. How they treat you can either be from a position of wisdom or ignorance. It is ignorance that you're looking at here. You need not concern yourself with ignorance, as (I assume) you are wiser than that.

The wise discard the howls of the ignorants aimed at them.

Hi, Pensieve. I don't think that sort of behaviour is necessarily characteristic only of NTs. I think it's more to do with the rudeness shown by some people (mainly younger people, I think) when they communicate online. Because they don't have to see the other person face-to-face, they feel free to be offensive and they forget that they're talking to another human being who may be hurt by what's been said. You see this at its most extreme when people become "trolls" and deliberately offend in order to get attention. I don't think it's confined to NTs, though- I've sometimes seen this kind of behaviour here on WP from people with ASDs as well. Jenny

Something similar happened to me yesterday on a forum. About a year ago, I had posted to a thread called "Favorite Artists" to an Irish music thread. Some of those artists included a few Cape Breton musicians (the music is related). Out of nowhere, someone yesterday came out from nowhere and snarkily made a comment about how posting about Cape Breton artists on an Irish music forum is inappropriate. The comment I made in response was, "Wow... who ran over your cat this morning?"

I recently (yesterday) found out that these are little rituals NTs go through for social and personal reasons (ego stroking), that game you described was called 'Aint it awful?' where one person will complain and the others will join in. Noone really cares about what people say on the phone they're simply performing a ritual designed to gel the group and keep things running smoothly (I gleaned this info from a book called Games People Play by Eric Berne, not an easy read but very worth it).

Not sure of the context but I'd guess the as*hole thing was just playful ribbing, recently my friend was laughing at my choice of bathroom literature (some random scifi novel) and was going on about how I like robots and aliens etc (the book was about neither of those things, wasn't even sci-fi really) so I just said 'f**k off, you're a robot!' (in a jokey way) and he seemed to really enjoy that. Next time I'll say 'at least I can read' lol He'd done it the week before too but that time I got pissed off at him and felt like a dick for doing so.
So next time somone says 'thanks as*hole' in that way return with 'no problem dickmunch' (with a smile) or something equally childish and see how they react.

I don't want to sink down to their level. It's in my nature to be kind.

I had a strange vibe from that person when I met her.

She was angry because her friends bailed on her, so I asked her if she was still going to the club to which she replied "obviously not, thanks as*hole." Now if my friends bailed on me I'd still go to the club, and I guess she didn't understand that.
Oh well, I need to watch what I say and be wary of certain people.

Ah see that's the thing it isn't a case of sinking to their level, (that implies you are judging them by your own standards I guess you don't like it when they judge you by their standards?) it's just about joining in or not. If you join in you may feel the benefit of the ego stroking (but you may not) but more importantly they'll be more accepting of you. If you don't join in they see it as a snub or that you're one of those people who can't take a joke and we know how NTs treat them.

Yes, people's words can hurt and we do appear to be overly sensative. I wonder at times do people feel better about themselves by mistreating another?

Interesting how you cannot see the rationale in seeking revenge or being vindictive against the wrong doers. I was suubjected to malicious gossip once by a couple of females and it was hurtful. I kew both of them had dark secrets about sexual loosness which would cause them extreme hurt, embarrassment and being the brunt of nasty names. I refrained from this endevour because I would get no enjoyment out of someone elses pain.