Can someone help me with something that happen today?

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I was shopping and stuck my headphones for my Ipod through my shirt (so I don't yank the headphones out which would usually fling the ipod around) well while doing this my mom said I showed my bra. I said oh ok and thought nothing of it. She is still upset that I showed no reaction that I should respect my body etc. etc. but IMO it was a bra NOT breast and not the private area which I both take into more consideration even underwear over a bra!! !! Does anyone get where I'm coming from? My mom said I should mention this to my Psychiatrist but IMO it falls into AS and having a different emotional reaction than she did and as I've said before his statement was "it's something diagnosed in children and there's no pill for that and this is a place that gives pills.." IMO my #1 issue is getting the help I need not some oh take a pill thing oh well.

Your mom's reaction was unnecessary. It was just a bra. It's just like a bathing suit.
I bet she wouldn't care one bit if you walked around the beach in a bikini, would she?

Besides, you're 23. You shouldn't give a s*** what she thinks about your apparent lack of modesty, neither should she try to baby you.

You are an adult. It's time she treats you like one.

What part of your bra was showing?
My bra straps are always showing because I cut the necks out of all my shirts. What's more..I help run a venue and am constantly privy to stylishly dressed 20-somethings..many of them wear bras that are visible under their shirts..they make bras that are purposely designed to stick out in the backs of shirts.
I don't see what the big deal was.

IMO, your reaction just sounds like you weren't being uptight. Your reaction to accidentally showing a bit of bra sounds a lot healthier than your mother's, I think. I mean, why get all upset about it? It was an accident.

It doesn't even really sound like an AS vs. NT thing. It reminds me of when I was breastfeeding my son, and learned that there are different attitudes about nursing in public. I could sit on a park bench in my hometown, and nurse my son (which doesn't show much bra or breast, but babies wiggle around, so there's always that possibility) and no one ever seemed to care or even notice. But when my MIL and FIL came to visit, I had to go hide up in my room to nurse my baby, because they couldn't handle it at all, even though it was right there in my own house. I think they were just brought up with a different attitude about it.

Your mom overreacted.

If she's making you go to a psychiatrist, it's none of her business what you tell the psych during your session. Mention that you want info on vocational rehab, social skills training, life coaching, cognitive behavioral therapy or other concrete instruction rather than drugs and hopefully the psych will give you a referral for something that can help you.

oo.. a bra strap.. whoop-dee-do. (sarcastic)
Maybe some 13-year-old boys will fantasize about you.
And even if it's more than a strap.. like someone said, it's like a bathing suit. (Personally, I don't really wear bathing suits.. In fact I almost never even wear shorts or short sleeves.. but that's another matter entirely.)
I'm sure there were other bra straps showing in that mall..

Next time, don't wear a bra.

Just joking.

I'm sorry it just seemed just ridiculous that your mother should respond in that way, that I felt compelled to joke a bit. You are an adult, and it is up to you alone what you choose to show and what not.

I don't meddle with my 16-year-old daughter's clothing, even though she shows some cleavage often. That is her choice alone.

bra parts show all the time. straps especially, but the top of cups are often showing above necklines.

I can't understand why she wants you to talk to your psychiatrist because it wasn't a big deal to you. it seems like she should talk to hers about why it's such a big deal to her

I don't like showing much skin, but truthfully my ass crack is exposed every time I bend over. extremely defined butt cheeks run in my family so the vertical separation of my buttocks achieves a high elevation, and my fluctuating weight means all my pants are loose right now, so if I'm doing yardwork all my neighbors get to see ass crack. I get remarks like "just say no to crack" and "you're showing crack, girl" but there isn't much I can do about it except wear long baggy t-shirts, and that may not guarantee my neighbors and passers-by will be protected from the spectacle of my butt crack.

but I seriously think if guys can wear those stupid pants that don't cover their underwear, a few inches of exposed ass crack doesn't seem offensive in comparison, so I don't worry too much about it except to tug my pants upward if they feel like they're slipping too far down and try not to point my butt in the direction of any picture windows along the street.

Thanks for the nice replies. Also the idea of getting a referal seems good I see a therapist Mon. and THANKFULLY a new Psychiatrist the 23rd (so someone fresh and new YA!) So we'll see how things go.

Yes she overreacted.

No there's no need to go running to your shrink about it.

But I'm a mother of a daughter to so I can see some of her POV too.

Irrational, annoying and irritating though it certainly is to all daughters, mothers worry. And one of their big worries about daughters is that those daughters will become victims of sexual assault. My guess is that she freaked about your non-reaction because she misinterpreted it as evidence that you are oblivious to what creeps find titillating and will be equally oblivious to those creeps moving in dangerously until it's too late. Yes, this is a leap of epic proportions. But that woprried leap is what mothers do all the time. The worrying is hardwired.

Classic example of parent believing its best to make you act "normal" I feel its the senseless emotion attached to some actions that gives a stigma to senseless acts but then again we're in a world where aesthetics matter more that function

Couldn't this be channeled much more appropriately into sending the daughter to some self-defense or karate classes than to taking it up with the shrink? Or maybe buying her a nice big can of pepper spray? (well, not a huge one.. one that fits nicely in her hand. Edit to add: the 15% kind you find at gun stores that's stronger than the stuff cops carry.)

Yes, that would be a more appropriate way for mom to channel her fear and safeguard her daughter. But people who are reacting out of fear (and parents often are- I've done it many times) often don't do the most objectively useful thing.

I'm not saying her mom chose the best reaction. I'm saying that I understand where that reaction came from because I've been just as irrationaly motivated by fear for my daughter sometimes too. Parents often do things because they are afraid for their kids. These things are rarely the most rational and helpful things to do and they frequently either annoy or infuriate the daghters (and sons). Fear is a great motivator but it often motivates people to do irrational things. I'm just trying to shed some light on the mom's otherwise baffling overreaction. I might not have understood it except for the time my daughter (aged about 7 at the time) ran outside in nothing but her underpants. I had a flash of utter horror that if she didn't know that it was innappropriate to run around in your underwear outside, she'd be chum for molestors. It was a moment of pure terror that translated into me yelling at her quite loudly. (I'm not proud of that- just explaining the irrationality.) Since this looks like a more muted version of the same thing (because the daughter is 23, not 7) I guessed that the mom's feelings underlying it might be the same.

damn she overreacted good there is no need to go to a shrink oh because a part of yur bra accidently shown OMG shock shock horror horror, this absolutely fathoms me and noyou should not have to go to the therapist because of that sorry that you have to get the brunt of it

She definitely over reacted! You don't have to see a psychiatrist because you didn't have a panic attack when you realised you'd accidentally showed a bit of bra for a few seconds.

Parents can be very protective... but I must say, if you'd got upset about it, then I'd think you were neurotic. As it is, I think you had a healthy response.

Totally true.. but I also wouldn't recommend giving can of pepper spray to a 7-year-old.

And Zelda's mom's reaction wasn't like moment-of-panic kind of stuff, she was actually continuing to insist that there was something wrong with not going into a total panic about showing a bra strap in a mall.