How to focus and stop being impulsive when you're ADHD?

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Okay, so I have ADHD. The problem is, like most people with it, I tend to fall off task and not concentrate on it. I go from one task to another without finishing it, and once i do it's hard for me to get back on the original task. Like for instance, I started outlining a story, but after a few days I bought oven-bake clay and started to wad it. I wanted to finish my story, but every time I go to the computer (I have a writing software in it) I find the internet more attractive, so I go on there, or I find my mp3 player (always liked to listen to music), so I listen to that. When I've homework to do or when I'm researching on a paper I go to the internet to look at interesting things instead of what I should research. I do get my homework done, but it's more like a last minute deal with the teacher. And my chores: I get preoccupied with the computer and TV and books my room's a mess. Even if i'm grounded I tend to become distracted with noises and put it off. With books I can't read a couple pages at a time before I'm distracted to do something else or have the urge to move. And after a read a section I put the book down and stop reading for weeks, even months before I read it, and even then I might read another book. And I have to do something or move around or else I get bored and sleep. It's like I can't get anything done at anytime. The world's spinning around in my head, and it seems enticing all the more. And I probably don't know enough about life skills because of ADHD and AS.

And I'm possibly the most impulsive person you'll meet. When I go to the bookstore I plan to buy a book, but I don't know what. I start looking at them and buy the first thing that interests me. When I know what to buy and I go to the store I buy something else instead, or when I think about the item I thought to buy and say, "no," I buy something else completely out of the blue. Like for instance, my dad and I went to Wal-Mart and I had forty dollars in my wallet. I was going to buy a new cable for my mp3, which costed about fourteen dollars, so I should have money left over. I got the cable, but then my mind told me to go get a book. So I went to the bookshelf and looked at the many books. Stephenie Meyer's The Host caught my eye, and it costed about eighteen dolars to buy it. My dad told me that I have too many books I didn't read already, so I put it down (though i struggled to), but then I went to the board game section and looked at the board games. I grabbed the revised version of Risk (the ones with the arrows instead of the men.) My dad said I already had three versions of Risk, but I bought it anyways. Altogether I spent a little more than thirty-nine dollars, with a few cents leftover. It just feels like I have to buy something everytime I walk into a store, even if that item doesn't interest me.

And I'm a perfectionist. I have to be perfect with every minute detail or else I'll cry and get upset. Like for my writing, the maxim "Show don't tell" always made me a better writer, but I fear to write now because I fear I'll tell in my story. Or my art, even though it's not good, has to be exactly as I picture it in my head. I feel that if my work isn't perfect, then it's not good enough or I have no potential to be a professional in my craft. Sometimes feel I haven't done my best even though others say it's good.

Sometimes I feel as if my life is this car that goes on the path at first but then takes detours just to upgrade it and have a bite to eat when in reality I don't need it and just need to get from point A to point B. It's wrecking my life, and with college coming in a few months I'm scared at how I'll fare with the other students. I know I'm smart; I just need to focus and stop being impulsive and a perfectionist. Sometimes I think I'm heading into poverty. I know I'm not lazy like people say, I just can't concentrate and impulsive and a perfectionist. And I've tried schedules and medicine, and it feels af if my symptoms ore getting worse every year.

Does anyone--anyone--have any advice for an ADHDer on how to focus, stop being impulsive and being a perfectionist? I'd really appreciate it if some people with ADHD can tell me how to deal with their problems. Thank you.

Well, I can tell you to not stop being a perfectionist, just don't take it so hard when it won't be as you wish.

To focus... well... don't look at other things, keep your eyes on the target. Plan how you're going to walk and what to buy, go straight to it and buy it, and try to do like that whenever you're trying to do something. Plan ahead, it's the only advice I can give.

I have a problem with perfectionism that I believe may be rooted in a cognitive inability to tell the difference between some midpoint and an absolute. For example, when I measure something, I have to make sure the measuring cup is exactly full, because I do not know how inaccurate the measurement can be without ruining whatever it is I'm doing. I have a memory of me at age twelve, making tea for the first time, having to choose the tea that was my least favorite because it was the only one with instructions that said exactly how much water to use and exactly how long to steep the tea. I'm better at it now than then, but I still have the same problem: How clean is a room when it's "clean enough"? How well-edited is a research paper when it's "good enough"? Problems with estimating may not be universal on the spectrum, but the black-and-white analytical thinking seems to be rather common, and it can definitely affect whether you know what "good enough" is, versus "perfect".

I have thought of quantifying "good enough" by determining what the acceptable error percent is; but I'd still have the same problem if I came close to the acceptable error percent.

Hmm... I'm afraid I have yet to find an answer to this problem... And believe me, we have a lot in common! One time, I had £15 pocket money which my mum gave me and less than 10 minutes later I was holding a giant remote controlled Dalek and my mum was almost screaming! She said, 'you've got one already!' and I said, 'but this one is black!' Another time I bought a Barbie on impulse and I REALLY don't know why with that one... I don't even like Barbies... My only advice on that one is to make sure someone else keeps your money because you are going to spend it otherwise!

As for trying to concentrate on studying or writing or something, Try and find somewhere that is REALLY boring to do it, you know without the distractions around. Believe me, when you are doing something you don't want to do ANYTHING is more interesting, whether it be a pen or a scrap of paper! I personally want to get a small typing only computer to do more important work on because with games, puzzles and internet (and that funny block thing you can do with the mouse on the main desktop...) behind MS Word, studying soon becomes very unappealing...

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )