light-touching a variety of social groups?

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I'm thinking of some of my past participating with hiking groups, kayaking groups, the Green Party, a writing group, etc., etc.

I have a theory that only 1 out of 9 groups works out as far as getting to the beginning stages of friendship. For a variety of reasons. People go to the group with someone they already know. And are no more looking to meet new people any more than if they had gone to the movies. Sometimes the leaders are half burnt out and want the same old-same old and predictability. They certainly don't want new projects. In fact, some of them almost seem to resent the energy of visitors and new members. Don't quite understand that one but it's there. Plus, in some groups, people may have heard stories about 'weirdos.' And then I'm there with my Aspie patchy skills, above average in some areas, below average in others, ready to intensely engage if my favorite topics come up. Yes, people are going to shy away from me, at times almost ostracize me as if that's some kind of BS group 'consensus' and yes, that does hurt.

So, I think the goal is to light-touch a variety of groups. Maybe initially take on a minor one or two shot deal at a volunteer activity, but not a major project.

In addition, I sometimes mistake an acquaintance for a friend or jump to insta-friendship, something like that. When I'd rather take a series of medium steps and remaining open to enjoying each step.

One thing I'm trying to say is, still try, but kind of undertry.

and it gets tricky because I have also had social success making a conscious decision to downshift my internal censor, so that the setting is that it's probably okay to go ahead and say it anyway unless it clearly jumps out at me as inappropriate