Our lack of role models

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One thing that's hard for me is that I can't have any role models in my life, because I don't know anyone around me and never did, who had a condition like mine with its limitations and advantages. I have to invent my life all the time, without any point of comparison or reference. Sometimes it'd be very comforting and easy for me to be able to say "What would X do in my situation right now? and at least have a general direction of action. As it is, I feel very lonely in this regard as well as in general. I can't have a role model not only because everyone around me is so different from me, but also because I can't follow in the steps of someone who has / had a totally different set of talents/limitations from me. The result is that it's very stressful to have to live totally inventing myself at every step of the way.

Clarification: I'm not talking about imitation, I'm talking about inspiration. They're 2 very different things.

Do you have role models in your life?

Do you have role models in your life?

Not in 25 years, however I had the worlds greatest grandfather to say"what would grandpa do"?

As time has went on, the frequency of these desired inspirations have faded,

but occasionally the thought reoccurs after sh*t has hit the fan.

Who cares?

Just be yourself and what you want of you (this latter part being what's within your capabilities).

Yeah I do, me.

I have some role models. They do not consist of particular types of people. I notice how well they do something or conduct themselves and it helps me to learn from their example.

Yep: Dennis Lyxzen
Now: Craig Nicholls.

I've had a few more than that but these ones really stand out for me.

I don't have any role models right now. I don't remember much from my childhood, so I'm not sure if I ever had any.

I don't have any real role models, either, but I do have people whom I consider wise, and who can give me advice in difficult situations. In different situatiosn, these are different people around me. I am not wanting to become like anyone, but people who hav emore life xperience than I do and who've been in similar situations, can still contribute to my decisions by giving advice.

My girlfriend lol, well..ex atm. But she's a NT and i've found her to be a pretty good standard to try and set myself too ^^ as she always seems to be right about everything she does..i can just ask myself what she'd do..

I'm new to information about autism, but the dearth of role models is definitely on my radar, I guess particularly male role models, since I sometimes struggle with society's (and my own) expectations of what it means to "be a man."

At this point, though, I'm so focused on re-discovering and celebrating my true self in light of what I'm reading on this website that I can't worry about seeking inspiration in anyone but myself for now.

Dan

Everyone is flawed and i can never be anyone else than who i am now. I've never really see nthe point for role models.

As a growing kid and geek (many years ago) my role models were J Robert Oppenheimer and Alan Turing. This is whilst the NT kids had footballers as role models. The career of both of these men inspire and there is no way I could copy them.

Vanilla_Slice

I don't "mimic" people, as that's extremely fake, but the only person I admire is Scrub's Janitor

"models" are just non working replica's of the real thing.
anyone who "models" a "role" they wish me to "play" are wasting their time.

pensieve wrote:

Yeah, I admire his courage,of which I have none, and his artistic integrity-so many find a marketable style and stick with it to make money and then stop the exploration process. As far as a role model, I guess there would be aspects of many different people. My mother's 86 year old best friend for one, and again for her courage and her wide open mind.

This really hits home for me when I look back on school essays in elementary school and junior high. I'm sure everyone remembers this one: "write about a person who's your hero". By then, I already knew that I was "supposed to" like Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson (it was the 90's, way different times than now). I learned it the hard way, when I wrote about a topic that truly interested me, and got bullied for it. So ever since then, whenever an essay involved a person, I always wrote about those two people, even though I barely cared about them at all. To this day, I just don't understand the concept of a hero, although I see a slight connection between myself and Steve Buscemi's character (McCord) in the movie The Island.

Jean-Luc Picard. My husband.

As a child, I tried to emulate the children around me in order to learn that mysterious social knowledge I didn't seem to have--or, rather, in order to adopt its outer appearance. (Still don't understand much of it internally.)

As I got older, I realized not everyone was a "good" person, and I got choosier with the people I emulated. Still, a lot of it is unconscious; I sort of go with the flow in many minor ways (language usage, type of humor, etc) in social situations.

But, in terms of people I think are very good human beings and people I admire and respect and wouldn't mind being more like: Jean-Luc Picard, and my husband. The latter is pretty much the most wonderful NT ever to walk the face of the earth. I can't believe I snagged him.