Does this sort of thing happen to you?

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Tantybi
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07 Aug 2009, 8:57 am

2 months ago, I moved into a rental house and we've had a lot of problems in the last 2 months, mainly with the basement flooding. They decided to sell, and we found a different place and trying to move out quickly and quietly so they can show the house (impossible for me to keep it show ready with a 1 and 2 year old and a bunch of stuff that I had planned to store in the basement). The landlord is very confusing situation too. I usually deal with a guy whose pretty wealthy in this area, and very well known in this area, but I think it's his girlfriend's house. Sometimes I deal with the girlfriend, but she doesn't say much, and what she does say gets contradicted by her boyfriend (she seems to be the type who allows people to dominate her probably because her mom is pushy too). I also deal with her mom, whose got to be like 50 years old (important fact toward the point I'm getting to). Either way, I've tried very hard to be easy going with these people because I kinda understand their situation. I know they are losing money with the basement issue, and I feel bad because I think it resulted from the previous tenant (They said he lived here a month without water, and I think he used the bathroom in the basement toilet without water). Anyway, the AC is backing up water and causing flooding now, and being pregnant, I don't like to live without AC, so I've been a little pushy about it getting repaired (it's been a week already, and the AC guy was here once without the tools he needed, so he'll be back today, and I don't know if he can fix it today or not, but it seems to take him 2-3 days to return calls or schedule another attempt at repair). Anyway, I was pleasantly pushy, and considering this guy talks like a spoiled brat and half the crap out of his mouth amazes me that he's a VP in sales just goes to show how you can be born into something, and now I know why his family business is failing, but anyway, I've been pleasant even though I don't wish to be. Well, when the AC guy was here and couldn't make repairs, the girlfriend's mother was here too. On her way out the door, she tells me, "You're messing with the wrong girl now." She did it in a threatening way, like quietly but psychotic like. I of course called her out on it, like "Why would you say that." Basically, we ended up screaming and cussing, she made some threats (to a pregnant woman mind you, and she knows I"m pregnant), and I called the police. I still can't figure out what compelled her to behave like a crack feen. Maybe she does have a crack problem that I don't know about because crack doesn't discriminate, so I can't expect a 50 year old hag to be crack free right? I don't know, that's the only theory i got right now. the crack made her do it. I can't say this never happens because back in like February, some crazy b***h threatened to stab me with her fork out of the blue for no reason too.

Also, I only called the police because I'm dealing with a local celebrity whose business is in no position to receive bad press, so I'm setting the stage in case things get worse before it gets better. Plus I will sue for my security deposit if it's not voluntarily rendered back to me, so this would probably help my court case. Also, the police protect HER (my way of protecting her)because I don't know minimal force when pregnant, and neither do my friends or family, so if she laid one hand on me, she's be signing her own death wish. I point that out to show that she's not really bullying me because she can't. She just physically can't do that. But either way, I still can't figure out why people feel compelled to provoke those they know little about. Even if I weren't capable of defending myself, why would anyone mess with people for no reason? I'm starting to think human intelligence is an oxymoron because I tend to only get to see the savage nature they have.

I'm really thinking my Aspergers seems to bring out the worst in people, so I'm curious if this sort of thing happens to you, and if so, have you found a way to prevent/avoid this from happening?



LostAlien
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07 Aug 2009, 12:17 pm

That sounds like one crazy a** bit**. I hope you don't have to deal with her again.

I've had my own experiences and I think that sometimes they're just insane or bully's by nature, it doesn't make them any easier to deal with though. I wish I had some tips on how to deal with these kind of people but I have none that are useful

I don't think it's being an Aspie makes people react bad, I think that unhinged people think we're good targets (either by body language or by finding out our diagnosis). I've met more than my fair share of fruitloops and bullies. I hope I don't meet any more because I don't want to waste my time with them but I know these nasty people are a part of life sometimes.



Tantybi
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07 Aug 2009, 2:57 pm

LostAlien wrote:
That sounds like one crazy a** bit**. I hope you don't have to deal with her again.

I've had my own experiences and I think that sometimes they're just insane or bully's by nature, it doesn't make them any easier to deal with though. I wish I had some tips on how to deal with these kind of people but I have none that are useful

I don't think it's being an Aspie makes people react bad, I think that unhinged people think we're good targets (either by body language or by finding out our diagnosis). I've met more than my fair share of fruitloops and bullies. I hope I don't meet any more because I don't want to waste my time with them but I know these nasty people are a part of life sometimes.


I have never mentioned autism to these people. I've gone as far as mentioning my daughter's speech therapist being here to try to clue them into the notion that there's more to my story than meets the eye, but I just won't be blunt about it because it really is none of their business and I just want to be left alone. I'm a good tenant. I'm a germ phob (actually, I'm just crazy about managing germs because some germs are good germs). I pay rent on time all the time, and if I'm going to be late with it (which hasn't happened in years), then I call in advance and make promises I can keep. I tend to also re-vitalize old appliances and bath fixtures because I clean so well. My only problem is clutter, and when I'm pregnant or dealing with babies under 1, my brain doesn't function enough to observe things early on (like a flooded basement) amongst other things.

But I seem to invite psychotic people or bring out the worst in them on a regular basis. I know I'm doing something wrong, and I read how a lot of people seem to feel the same way in other posts on this site when talking about something else (generally bullies vs normal people behaving like bullies), so I'd like to know if anyone has figured a way to prevent this and why this seems to happen. So, I'm like you, I know i have to deal with them, but I'm sick of wasting my time with them. I am getting really angry at the undue stress these people have put on me and my baby, and I scare myself when I'm angry. I might just bring down that whole company even though they have nothing to do with this. I know how I am, and if I can't get other people to realize that about me, then I should find ways to prevent it on my own for their sake only because it's the right thing to do and saves me from bad kharma because Lord knows I don't need anymore bad kharma.



tweety_fan
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08 Aug 2009, 6:45 am

Some people are just bullies by nature unfortunately. I hope that u don't have to deal with her again.

Best Wishes.



Tantybi
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08 Aug 2009, 10:26 am

tweety_fan wrote:
Some people are just bullies by nature unfortunately. I hope that u don't have to deal with her again.

Best Wishes.


Thank you.

I talked to the AC guy again, and I guess he works with her and they are kinda friends. He apologized for her behavior saying he had no idea she would be like that. I explained that i didn't expect it either. In fact, I thought she was the most sane of the bunch because her daughter tends to be very whatever the boyfriend says type of person, and the boyfriend acts like a spoiled brat (and he agreed with me about the other two). He said she gets very protective of her daughter, so I don't know what she took as a bad thing about her daughter. I did say her daughter didn't say much when she was here, but I meant that to be because her boyfriend won't let her like you might want to fix that before they get married. And we argued about her daugher saying water was streaming out the AC, and she never said that to me, so I said nobody told me about that and you would think if I were standing right here when they noticed it that they would say something to me about it. There was also no evidence of water coming out the device she said it was (and it didn't come out that but one near it). Anyway, I'm thinking where I was trying to correct what she was saying to the AC guy was construed as me calling her daughter a liar or something, and that's not what I was trying to do. BTW, it ended up being what I thought was wrong with the AC that was wrong, so far. I have yet to call the boyfriend and do my "I told you so" speech.



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08 Aug 2009, 1:25 pm

Aspies bring out the worst in people, absolutely. I know I do. I'm constantly criticized by people for how I treat others. But those who criticize me haven't the faintest idea what horrible things those others did to me, because they only ever treat ME that bad. This is a constant problem in my life.

I think you should change the title of the thread to "Aspies bring out the worst in people?" to attract more attention to a topic that is of utmost importance and hasn't been discussed in the last couple years that I know of.


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08 Aug 2009, 2:06 pm

Yes, stuff like that happens to me to.
Part of it is facial expressions being off, you may have facial expressions that you don't realize you have, so people will read bizarre things into everything you say because your face doesn't look right. (okay.. I know that sounds offensive, but I'm not sure how else to put it.. I don't know what it is that your face says, I've never even seen your face and I'm not good at reading them anyways. But if your expressions isn't congruent with what people think it should be, they'll act bizarre. They may think you're acting bizarre, too. I know I've mentioned how my mom always has a disgusted look on her face, even when there's no actual disgust in her mind whatsoever. But people assume things based on that.)
So not only are you possibly not correctly interpreting their expressions, they're massively misinterpreting yours too.

You said that the daughter is quiet, maybe she's kinda, er, afraid of you? You might seem upset with her (even if you're not upset at all, or upset with something else, like the problems with the house), so she'd be afraid of you, so her mom would be protective, since her daughter isn't good at dealing with people anyways... :?



Tantybi
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08 Aug 2009, 10:36 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
Yes, stuff like that happens to me to.
Part of it is facial expressions being off, you may have facial expressions that you don't realize you have, so people will read bizarre things into everything you say because your face doesn't look right. (okay.. I know that sounds offensive, but I'm not sure how else to put it.. I don't know what it is that your face says, I've never even seen your face and I'm not good at reading them anyways. But if your expressions isn't congruent with what people think it should be, they'll act bizarre. They may think you're acting bizarre, too. I know I've mentioned how my mom always has a disgusted look on her face, even when there's no actual disgust in her mind whatsoever. But people assume things based on that.)
So not only are you possibly not correctly interpreting their expressions, they're massively misinterpreting yours too.

You said that the daughter is quiet, maybe she's kinda, er, afraid of you? You might seem upset with her (even if you're not upset at all, or upset with something else, like the problems with the house), so she'd be afraid of you, so her mom would be protective, since her daughter isn't good at dealing with people anyways... :?


Very good possibility that the daughter is afraid of me. Most people tell me I'm intimidating when I'm not trying, and I've been overly domineering with the boyfriend because he's so domineering to begin with. I can't stand men like that when they think because they have power and money that they know better than me or something. But, a few times when it was just us girls, I make them laugh with my male bashing humor (friendly, funny humor...like why do guys think that us girls wouldn't know anything about plumbing?). So I would assume that they both should figure out that I'm just competing with the boyfriend when I get domineering. Maybe I'm wrong that they are capable of such observations.



Tantybi
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08 Aug 2009, 10:37 pm

Greentea wrote:
Aspies bring out the worst in people, absolutely. I know I do. I'm constantly criticized by people for how I treat others. But those who criticize me haven't the faintest idea what horrible things those others did to me, because they only ever treat ME that bad. This is a constant problem in my life.

I think you should change the title of the thread to "Aspies bring out the worst in people?" to attract more attention to a topic that is of utmost importance and hasn't been discussed in the last couple years that I know of.


I think I'll start a new thread cause i got something related to this to add, and then I can also omit my entire story since it's probably a tough read.