Do you think Aspies/Auties develop obsessions...

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i_wanna_blue
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15 May 2009, 7:00 am

as a way of coping with isolation and/or loneliness? Maybe it compensates for the lack of a deep connection with the world around you. Your obsession might bring one that deep connection, as it is experienced on ones own terms and uses ones abilities instead of showing ones inabilities. Maybe it makes up for the lack of stability one might gain if one feels integrated within a group or society.

What do you think?



TPE2
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15 May 2009, 7:20 am

Could not be the opposite?

I.e., the isolation/loneliness being a result of obsessions (because nobody whats to tall with you if you only talk about birds of prey).



deadeyexx
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15 May 2009, 7:21 am

Umm.....yes. This is a major sign of an aspie.



obnoxiously-me
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15 May 2009, 7:46 am

I think you're definitely on to something. My interests does give me a feeling of connectedness and self-escape in a way too.



krystalleyes
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15 May 2009, 7:59 am

I don't think so for me personally - even when in a position to be part of a group of people, and accepted, I have a tendency to prefer to do my own thing.

I maybe have a bit of an unusual view in that I feel part of the planet - connected to the earth, animals, plants, weather etc...not disconnected in that way....just not very connected to other humans usually. I don't often feel lonely, especially if I have my dogs and my interests.

I play music, sometimes in a group, but I don't get any more pleasure from doing it in a group than alone - probably less tbh because I can't always play what I want.

But I can see that to be absorbed in something would distract from feeling isolated, I have used some of my interests this way at times I think.



pandd
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15 May 2009, 8:03 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
as a way of coping with isolation and/or loneliness?

No. I think they are a consequence of dsyregulation within the brain, just as sensory issues are. I do not think they occur as a "coping" strategy for emotional upset, loneliness, or angst, I do not think they occur in order to "turn inwards" away from painful stimuli.

Obsessions/interests might help one to cope better with isolation, or compensate for loneliness, or give respite from painful stimuli, but if so, they are simply co-opted to such purposes, rather than existing for such purposes.



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15 May 2009, 8:16 am

I agree with pandd, and it was expressed well in the last paragraph.

Our obsessions are intrinsic to our neurochemistry. They cause us to be alienated from others. So, we immerse ourselves MORE in our special interests, to relieve the pain of isolation. It's a vicious cycle!


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poopylungstuffing
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15 May 2009, 9:09 am

I sort of remember what it was like to first develop my interests as a child...The world is so chaotic and confusing...and then something will stand out with clarity like an island...so you climb aboard that island and hold on....



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15 May 2009, 11:40 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
as a way of coping with isolation and/or loneliness? Maybe it compensates for the lack of a deep connection with the world around you.


Not in my case. It was the other way round for me.
Maybe loneliness does create a kind of "vicious cycle" later on when you realise that you are required to interact with others.

When I was very young, I felt a strong connection to the physical world and the world of animals.

I certainly didn't feel lonely. I felt fascinated and occupied with toys; physical details of the house and the television. I was left on my own a lot of the time, so I suppose I didn't really mind.

My gaze was zooming in on objects and details long before I made my first friends.
I believe that this magnifying glass like perception leads to intense focussing on a special interest associated with a particular object.

I believe that my brain was primed to pick up on details from the start.

People from outside the house were confusing though and I did sometimes get cross because they acted in strange ways.

I don't think I really felt lonely until I was about seven years old.
Maybe I didn't know I had to feel lonely, so I was oblivious to that feeling.

I certainly felt angry and confused about how some people automatically expected me to be able to do things though.



DonkeyBuster
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15 May 2009, 2:01 pm

Definitely not a coping strategy for me. I also experience the zoom in, the rush and excitement of what may look to OTHERS like obsession but is really more a total focus and engagement on something I find fascinating. It's stimulating, rewarding, creative and I can loose track of time.

Obsessiveness is a very different feeling and extremely unpleasant. My obsessive thinking interferes with my passion and focus. At those times I probably look normal to OTHERS because I'm less focused, organized or one-track. I feel scattered and distressed.

I may turn to my special interest to jog myself out of obsessiveness... it sometimes works. But as I experience them, the two are very different.



SpongeBobRocksMao
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15 May 2009, 2:46 pm

My obsessions help me cope with stress sometimes, sometimes I can be angry or in a kind-of-panic, and my obsessions will help calm be down.


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MONKEY
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15 May 2009, 4:17 pm

For me obsession aren't for coping with lonliness or ascaping or anything, I just seem to get obsessed with stuff just because.


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Fudo
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15 May 2009, 4:19 pm

it would appear to be "Absolute" obsession, in that it is obsession for the sake of obsession. although you can consciously enjoy your obsession. :)



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15 May 2009, 5:52 pm

I agree with the poster who has obsessions "just because" and also the other poster because of a brain set to focus on objects/systems and details. I would not exactly call my obsessions "obsessions," either, but more of a very strong directed need to practice things enough time to really perfect and master certain skills in which I happen to have a very strong interest -- whatever they are, which is often hard to say. Just whatever piques my interest. When I was younger I might admit I was very obsessed with horses everywhere of all kinds at all times, and I still love horses and have an autism horse of my own I ride. But I am not driven by some need to lock out loneliness or down moods or anything like that, but more of an acquisition of knowledge and mastery thing and and enthusiam. I have more problems with being in too much of an up and positive mood and very hyper, than anything. I don't think anyone can ever really be a high level master at any subject, however, without the drive to repeat and perfect the abilities.



elderwanda
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15 May 2009, 6:05 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:
as a way of coping with isolation and/or loneliness? Maybe it compensates for the lack of a deep connection with the world around you. Your obsession might bring one that deep connection, as it is experienced on ones own terms and uses ones abilities instead of showing ones inabilities. Maybe it makes up for the lack of stability one might gain if one feels integrated within a group or society.

What do you think?



I almost never feel lonely. I LOVE being alone, and can't recall ever wishing I was with people when I was not. Sure, under the right circumstances, I enjoy other people's company, but I crave huge amounts of time alone, and never have a feeling of isolation.

When I have a "special interest", it just happens. Personally, I don't see a connection between that and loneliness. It could be different for others, though.



thewrll
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15 May 2009, 8:26 pm

Wanda I feel the same way.