Do you get a sense of disapproval from people?

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I sense disapproval from most people. I've been told that it's not real ... that is, people don't really "disapprove" of me. So I figure it's just one more example of my distorted reading of non-verbal cues, and I try to disregard the feeling. Still, it's very stressful, and periodically, it becomes overwhelming and I just sorta shut down.

My solution is to go out into a wilderness area (there are lots of them in my state, and in the West in general), and "lose" myself in solitude. That's the only thing that relieves the stress.

Do anyone else feel this, and what do you do about it?

Oh yes, it is a frequent occurrence in my relations to people in general.

It seems we have found a common solution, it works very well I might add.

Though alone from society, I always manage to stay in touch as little as possible.

Yup.. and I'm never sure if it's real or not..
It seems like whenever I decide to start just assuming it's not real since I can't tell anyways, or because it hadn't been real the last couple of times, then I totally and completely screw it up. Like I'll go "Ok, it's all in my head, so I'll just ignore it." and then find out that it was real.

^ and vice versa.

Kinda like associating thing that would otherwise have no association, though that is a gift as well at times. When thinking through the box of conventionalism, Aspies are very unconventional.

Last edited by DaWalker on 08 Aug 2009, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, at times - and that sense is real, not my imagination! Although Lab Pet is not intuitive, in the classic sense, plus I do lack in 'reading' another, there can be that intense disapproval (? right word) or just that 'it's not right.'

Absolutely this shouldn't be ignored. I've had some positively LOUSY advice (by others who just don't know), that say, in effect, "Oh, it's just your imagintion...blah blah blah."

No it's not. Animals too detect that 'sense that it's just not right.' Because they do know - as do I.

The problem is that I truly cannot 'read' another's motive or intent so I'm left....mind blind! Quite like a visual cliff and I'm extraordinarily trusting and can be really naive. But my animal sense exists.

I had/have a professor, whom I 'liked' and did everything to please him - and I did. But I 'knew,' or sensed, his disapproval and/or weird conceptions about me (about my Autism, specifically). Then.....WHAM! He really showed his true colors (to use a euphanism). That sense shouldn't be ignored. The problem is that as an Autist, or anyone for that matter, we cannot ask "So....what's the matter?" This is socially wrong, like asking "But WHY don't you like me?" We don't have this option. So it's scary when that sense occurs. With this particular professor I could smell adrenanline on his person - not kidding. I later did tell my advisor, whom I do trust. He believed me and knew I wasn't just making it up.

If I get that scent, in the utmost literal terms, there's a problem. And I'm on guard.

I get that feeling every time I time I go into a shop. I'm not a paranoid person but I feel like the shopkeepers genuinely hate me

Think so. They don't understand why I make such a fuss about small things, why I can't shut up about my obsessions, why I can't deal with unexpected change too well etc.

Yes, I can relate.

It's partially you "being hard on yourself" and partially a response to all those childhood/adolescent years in which you were probably annoying everyone.

I don't think it's all real but some of it certainly is.

A lot is our complete misinterpretation of facial expression and body language.

Yea.. it's especially bad when that bad advice comes from therapists, too.. then you really have no choice but to believe them, or you'll be labeled paranoid..

Everyone human come to disapprove something other human being is doing, now how much he doing it depend on how much of an open mind the said human got. And disapproval does not mean the person reject you, just that it does not agree with you, which can lead to rejection. I think most NT would never say if they feel a slight disapproval for it would be putting themselves in a position of opposition for something they consider trivial.

But if you meant it has someone dislike or hate you then it other thing, ya I get that feeling from time to time and I really don't understand why hate me if I never did any wrong against them and if I did something wrong you should just tell me what I did in a calm way. But hope for that last part if very dim since that not how NT work.

I like hiking and wilderness stuff too except it's so hot here most of the summer anything but swimming during the daytime hours outdoors is really uncomfortable and can be dangerous.
I feel a sense of disapproval on a daily basis. It used to bother me, nowadays I just ignore it and quietly go about my business. If people disapprove of me for some petty reason it really isn't my problem as long as I am not bothering them.

I get a clear sense of disapproval from many people because they tell me straight out that I'm faking AS, or don't have it, or taking advantage of it. I've also been told by family that I'm a failure, disappointment, etc.

What to do? Ignore them, not talk to them for months or years, or even cut off contact entirely.

I don't have any intuition or ability to read other people's body language, so I otherwise am fairly oblivious to such things. But I do spend time on my own pursuing my interests. The quietude of the outdoors is very nice, especially at night (astronomy is one of my interests, and you can see a whole lot more when you're away from the light pollution in a city).

Then I suggest you go study astronomy at university if you have that possibility, since for us aspie best job we can get are those linked to our interest and since those studying astronomy are normally people that do it because they love it you risk to have better acceptance of your weirdness there since even if you risk to not be interesting for chitchat at least there is good chance you will be interesting when speaking of astronomy (since I guess like lot of aspie your conversation become more natural when speaking of your interest). There is jerk in every profession through, but since they will have same passion then you chance of been accepting are higher.

Verbal disapproval I get a lot. Mental disapproval - I tend to get a lot.

Personally speaking I've grown accustomed to it and learned that most of the time I'm always in the wrong. So, I can let it get to me and let the wrinkles show or lock myself away in solitude and not care. I choose the latter.

Its good to see someone from my own state on the forum btw - there aren't many of us.

That would be very appealing except that I'm in my 40s. It's a little late to embark on the path toward a doctorate and a new career, to say nothing of expensive.

That's what I do. I only get it from people on the street and maybe a few family members.