Can anyone understand this?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akbHef74zMM



I am stumped in this. I can't figure out what social etiquette the man broke. I know reading the name tag isn't the right answer because they are meant to be read. But is staring at it wrong? Some people need to stare at it to read the whole thing. I know the woman was being sarcastic when she said "sure you were" and then she was serious when she said "pervert." But why on earth have the name tag on your shirt and then think men are staring at your boobs when they read it?

What am I missing here?

I've actually had this problem at the grocery when I was trying to read a nametag on the shirt of a girl who was nice to me. I really wasn't staring at her freaking breasts I just didn't want to ask her her name so I was trying to read it.

I agree with you Spokane_Girl. Why would you put a nametag on where you didn't want people to look?

He leaned in too far.
Most people will assume that you're trying to get a look at them rather than do something like read.
When reading things, you should use your eyes, not your entire head, neck, and upper body.

Also, if your motives become suspect, then you can mumble their name just loudly enough for them to hear. You could even add an "I like the sound of that.".

AND! Why would you wear something that's basically saying "LOOK HERE" but get offended? I mean seesh, it's her own fault for wearing something like that and putting the name tag in that awful spot.

It reminds me of the tv show Max and Ruby, where ruby puts something max can't touch RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. It's sort of like the name tag thing, you can look at it, but not to closely or I'm going to go ape on you.

I think it's just because he put his face so close to her breasts while reading the name tag. I would also be a bit weirded out if someone leaned that close to me. On the other hand, I thought his explanation was quite reasonable (like you said, why put the tag right there if you're not ok with people looking?), but apparently not.

Anytime I try to read a girl's shirt I'm always afraid that she thinks I'm looking at her breast and I don't want to creep her out.

Yeah I agree about not using your entire body to read the nametag. But I'd feel a little weird saying the name out loud and especially saying "I like the sound of that!" That seems a little creepy.

No, not "I like the sound of that!", just "I like the sound of that.". Note the period.
This is not something that would be done commonly, but if they ask you what you're doing, a direct explanation is too likely to sound like an excuse. Thus, if you read it aloud quietly (but loudly enough to make it clear that you're reading), then you clear up your intentions. Plus, saying that you like the sound of their name is flattering if delivered in a sort of offhand manner.

Well, I think that woman needed some attitude adjustment. The man came and clearly stated what he needed, and she immediately seemed irritated with him. If he did something to deserve that, I don't know what it was. He didn't say, "hello", but I don't think that's a big deal. She didn't say hello either, and, as the receptionist, it would have been appropriate for her to greet him nicely.

One thing that he did which was a little bit geeky, but not particularly "bad" was the "my name is ---, what's yours?" With her doing her receptionist job (barely) and him being a person with an appointment, this wasn't really the time or place for a get-to-know-you session. That's one I've always had trouble with, because if you read any kind of book about social skills, or take a class, they tell you to do just what he did, right? But in real life, I have never had anyone just come up to me and say that until after we've talked for a bit, and usually not even then (unless they are trying to get me to join Amway). It happens so seldom, that it feels very unnatural. It's the same with handshaking. Apparently we are "supposed" to do it, but no one ever does. Very confusing. When he said, "My name is ---, what's your's?" I think, frankly, that made him sound like a special needs guy who had been taking social skills classes. (Personally, that would make me think, "This guy might be on the spectrum. I'm going to be careful to say what I mean, and make sure he gets where he needs to go.")

The name tag thing--well, he was looking too intently at her breast too closely, for too long. We know that he was reading the name tag, but she misread it. In my opinion, she was being pretty dense to misread that. He wasn't ogling at her boobs. I'm not sure what she expects, when she gets up in the morning and puts on her WonderBra and a dress with a low neckline, and puts her name tag right there. She could put it up higher, more towards the shoulder.

He looked like a mildly autistic guy who was just going about his business, and she looked like a b**ch with an snobby attitude.

I offended a woman once by doing that - she had a large shiny necklace pendant resting right on her cleavage and I kept looking at it because it was pretty. She thought I was starting at her boobs and was creeped out

Last edited by Sati on 02 Nov 2009, 11:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I understand what you are saying. When I added the explanation point I was sort of imagining maybe an exaggerated version of how it would probably come out of my mouth. I'm just not personally good at making flattering remarks to people.

A friend of mine does this, she wears nice outfits, but she always hikes up her top whenever I look at her clothes. I always apologize and say "I wasn't staring at that, I was just looking at your nice shirt/blouse/etc.

The receptionist does not expect anyone to actually be looking at her name tag.

But... There's text on it. If I see a word, then I read it. Even if it's in a foreign language. ...As long as it's a writing system that I know.

Surely, that's not an unusual tendency... Right?

When you don't know someone, you don't read the person's name tag and expect to strike up a conversation with their name. It's really awkward because the other person doesn't know your name. It gets even more awkward when ther person points this out.

The only use for a name tag is for the bosses to read them in case he forgets or is a higher up who doesn't talk with the ones down on the lower end of the chain.

Something about this video seems off. The woman's attitude in the video seems artificial. The lack of replying to the first response, the bitchy attitude she has.... this doesn't seem like something that would happen in a real conversation.

Infact, the more I watch this, the more I'm certain this is staged to make the woman look bad and the autistic man look better. No receptionist would act like that in real life; You could get in trouble for it.

Last edited by Marrshu on 03 Nov 2009, 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.