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If physicians acted like psychologists

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Yensid
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25 Feb 2011, 5:10 pm

First, I want to apologize to the good psychiatrists and psychologists. I know that there are many out there. This thread is not intended to insult them. This thread is dedicated to the rest.

If you had an unusual growth on your skin, and you took it to several different doctors, you would expect to get the same tests (more or less) and the same diagnosis (more or less). Trying to get a diagnosis for AS is the exact opposite. I do not know for sure if I have AS. I do not need a formal diagnosis. I just want someone who can give me a good, informed opinion.

If doctors acted like psychologists and psychiatrists, and you said, "Doctor, I have a strange growth on my skin. Is it cancerous?"

The answer would be:

  • The psychiatrist: "That growth might be cancerous, it might not be. What makes you think that you have cancer?"
  • The pediatrician: "It is not cancer, you do not look anything like my cancer patients."
  • The internist: "I had a cancer patient who died once. You can't have cancer, because you are still alive."
  • The cognitive internist: "The growth is in your mind. Get rid of your negative thoughts, and the growth will go away."
  • The GP: "Stop with the self diagnosis."
  • The surgeon: "You have appendicitis."
  • The specialist: "We have to run a lot more tests to figure out exactly what kind of cancer it is. Does your insurance cover cancer?"


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wavefreak58
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25 Feb 2011, 5:42 pm

LOL.

The dermatologist: I have an appointment available in 9 weeks, is that good for you?

The cosmetic surgeon: We could move that to your left cheek and call it a beauty mark.

The optometrist: You just need new glasses


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wefunction
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25 Feb 2011, 6:49 pm

I love this. Well done!



Chronos
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25 Feb 2011, 7:23 pm

Yensid wrote:
First, I want to apologize to the good psychiatrists and psychologists. I know that there are many out there. This thread is not intended to insult them. This thread is dedicated to the rest.

If you had an unusual growth on your skin, and you took it to several different doctors, you would expect to get the same tests (more or less) and the same diagnosis (more or less). Trying to get a diagnosis for AS is the exact opposite. I do not know for sure if I have AS. I do not need a formal diagnosis. I just want someone who can give me a good, informed opinion.

If doctors acted like psychologists and psychiatrists, and you said, "Doctor, I have a strange growth on my skin. Is it cancerous?"

The answer would be:

  • The psychiatrist: "That growth might be cancerous, it might not be. What makes you think that you have cancer?"
  • The pediatrician: "It is not cancer, you do not look anything like my cancer patients."
  • The internist: "I had a cancer patient who died once. You can't have cancer, because you are still alive."
  • The cognitive internist: "The growth is in your mind. Get rid of your negative thoughts, and the growth will go away."
  • The GP: "Stop with the self diagnosis."
  • The surgeon: "You have appendicitis."
  • The specialist: "We have to run a lot more tests to figure out exactly what kind of cancer it is. Does your insurance cover cancer?"


Sadly true, rather tragic, and somewhat infuriating, but quite funny none the less!



SeizeTheDay
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26 Feb 2011, 12:14 am

:roll: :lmao: Bahahahah!! !! ! Gooood!! ! Love it!


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meerkateer
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26 Feb 2011, 1:15 am

Truly a horror show. Even more scary, some physicians also act like this for physical issues.



Sallamandrina
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26 Feb 2011, 2:06 am

meerkateer wrote:
Truly a horror show. Even more scary, some physicians also act like this for physical issues.

Just what I wanted to say. But you really made me laugh Yensid!


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simon_says
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26 Feb 2011, 2:30 am

Radiologist: Once you turn 18, cancer is cured by the cancer fairy and is no longer detectable. Chemotherapy is then discontinued.



Yensid
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26 Feb 2011, 6:14 am

Thanks for the kind remarks everyone. I'm glad that you appreciated it.

meerkateer wrote:
Truly a horror show. Even more scary, some physicians also act like this for physical issues.


True enough. I have met two that were pretty scary. Most of the doctors that I have met have been pretty competent, though.


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