Why don't neurotypicals care about using true definitions?

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timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 4:31 am

They constantly distort the meaning of words. To them love = lust for body, power, or status. To them hate = an irrational and powerful emotion that could never be cold blooded as opposed to what it really means, an extreme aversion whether rational or irrational. I see them saying "I don't hate such and such" when anyone can see they clearly do through their actions. To them friend = acquaintance I want to use. That's why so many of them claim to have 50 friends.



Last edited by timeisdead on 20 Aug 2009, 5:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

southwestforests
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20 Aug 2009, 4:44 am

Contrary to the NT's popular perception of themselves, NTs have some issues.


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Callista
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20 Aug 2009, 4:44 am

It probably comes partly from a lifetime of communicating with more than just words. When NTs talk, most of what they say isn't in their words, but in other things like movement, posture, tone of voice, gesture, speed, pitch, volume, etc., whereas someone with an ASD may only communicate a small part of what they mean that way.

That means that if an NT makes a statement that is literally untrue, his listener will still pick up the true meaning in many cases. Someone claiming to be in love would probably be talking to a listener who is measuring his mannerisms to figure out whether he is committed to the loved person, or just attracted to him.


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timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 4:49 am

Callista wrote:
It probably comes partly from a lifetime of communicating with more than just words. When NTs talk, most of what they say isn't in their words, but in other things like movement, posture, tone of voice, gesture, speed, pitch, volume, etc., whereas someone with an ASD may only communicate a small part of what they mean that way.

That means that if an NT makes a statement that is literally untrue, his listener will still pick up the true meaning in many cases. Someone claiming to be in love would probably be talking to a listener who is measuring his mannerisms to figure out whether he is committed to the loved person, or just attracted to him.


I can tell what they mean and can read between the lines of what they say but it truly puzzles me, especially when they distort the meanings of love and hate. Is it to make themselves look better than they actually are by sugarcoating the truth? Anyone in the right mind can tell they don't really mean what they say!



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20 Aug 2009, 4:53 am

Because their lack of interesting things in life makes talking about them very boring unless you exaggerate the impact it had. ;)

Let's view it for a moment:

Quote:
I met a new guy/girl at work today, he/she was kind of cute and charming so I desided to ask him/her out, but before I had the chance his/her very nice looking boy-/girlfriend came in to say goodbye. I have to confess I became a little jealous.

Doesn't sound very interesting does it? You can talk about it for 5 min and then everything has been said, neither will you get any attention either, but if you phrase it like this it might give a better response.
Quote:
I met this new guy/girl at work today, he/she was sooo hot and smart and I just fell for him/her on the spot and I saw that he/she was really into me too, but suddenly some trash guy/girl came in and ruined everything, infront of everyone they made out like there were no tomorrow. Disgusting. I hate that trashy ******.


Did that help? ^^


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Callista
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20 Aug 2009, 4:55 am

It's probably like an arms race or something, all about the reputation--first one person puts up a false front, so you have to do it too or look worse than them; then your competitors can't admit they aren't what they're saying they are either, even though everybody knows; so you can't admit it, either; so everybody develops the ability to see through what people are saying anyway, to compensate for the fact that everybody else is acting...

I don't think this is entirely limited to human socialization though. You see dogs posturing this way, too, especially as puppies and during play; cats, too, in a limited way (though they are more likely to be willing to back up posturing with claws)--with dogs, it's a way to establish pecking order; with cats, it's a way to prevent from fighting to the death over every small disagreement, as serious cat fights are often fatal to one or both animals (it's the claws--dangerous things!), whereas both dogs usually walk away from a fight.


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Last edited by Callista on 20 Aug 2009, 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 4:57 am

Silvervarg wrote:
Because their lack of interesting things in life makes talking about them very boring unless you exaggerate the impact it had. ;)

Let's view it for a moment:
Quote:
I met a new guy/girl at work today, he/she was kind of cute and charming so I desided to ask him/her out, but before I had the chance his/her very nice looking boy-/girlfriend came in to say goodbye. I have to confess I became a little jealous.

Doesn't sound very interesting does it? You can talk about it for 5 min and then everything has been said, neither will you get any atention either, but if you phrase it like this it might give a better response.
Quote:
I met this new guy/girl at work today, he/she was sooo hot and smart and I just fell for him/her on the spot and I saw that he/she was really into me too, but suddenly some trash guy/girl came in and ruined everything, infront of everyone they made out like there were no tomorrow. Disgusting. I hate that trashy ******.


Did that help? ^^


The second is actually being more emotionally honest than the first. It is clear there was jealousy involved from the paragraph. In this case, the word hate is being used appropriately. I'm simply baffled at PC people who claim that hate has to be emotional or irrational when it simply means an extreme aversion. They often claim " I don't hate so and so, I just dislike him" when they really do if you look at their actions.



Callista
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20 Aug 2009, 5:01 am

Yeah, but you can't say "hate" correctly over such a small incident! Seeing someone cute and discovering they're taken isn't going to make most people hate the cute person's significant other. "A little jealous and annoyed" seems more appropriate to that sort of situation--and possibly "very disappointed", too, though that would be more anger at the situation, wouldn't it? Anyway, I don't think anyone who doesn't automatically switch on strong emotions (some people do, most don't) would be correctly saying the second paragraph. "Hate" has a connotation of not just strength but durability--a long-term aversion, a desire to see the other person come to harm, maybe even the active willingness to make (or let) that happen.


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20 Aug 2009, 5:03 am

timeisdead wrote:
Silvervarg wrote:
Because their lack of interesting things in life makes talking about them very boring unless you exaggerate the impact it had. ;)

Let's view it for a moment:
Quote:
I met a new guy/girl at work today, he/she was kind of cute and charming so I desided to ask him/her out, but before I had the chance his/her very nice looking boy-/girlfriend came in to say goodbye. I have to confess I became a little jealous.

Doesn't sound very interesting does it? You can talk about it for 5 min and then everything has been said, neither will you get any atention either, but if you phrase it like this it might give a better response.
Quote:
I met this new guy/girl at work today, he/she was sooo hot and smart and I just fell for him/her on the spot and I saw that he/she was really into me too, but suddenly some trash guy/girl came in and ruined everything, infront of everyone they made out like there were no tomorrow. Disgusting. I hate that trashy ******.


Did that help? ^^


The second is actually being more emotionally honest than the first. It is clear there was jealousy involved from the paragraph. In this case, the word hate is being used appropriately. I'm simply baffled at PC people who claim that hate has to be emotional or irrational when it simply means an extreme aversion. They often claim " I don't hate so and so, I just dislike him" when they really do if you look at their actions.

It was meant to be the same event, from a basicly neutral view and a more "interesting" view. If you hate someone you want them dead, and hopefully suffer alot before they get there. :D

"I want to dig out his eyes with his toenails."
//Very pissed friend.

Edit: Nice to see we agree Callista. ^^


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timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 5:06 am

Quote:
It's probably like an arms race or something, all about the reputation--first one person puts up a false front, so you have to do it too or look worse than them; then your competitors can't admit they aren't what they're saying they are either, even though everybody knows; so you can't admit it, either; so everybody develops the ability to see through what people are saying anyway, to compensate for the fact that everybody else is acting...


Actually, you don't have to put up a false front. You could point out the flaws in their language and tell them what they really mean. Analyze them to death and tell them the cold brutal truth about themselves. They will at first vehemently deny it but if you press them, they will admit to it because questioning them often sends them into an irrational rage. Then when they admit to it, you can rub it in their faces, essentially telling others around them they are full of s**t.



Silvervarg
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20 Aug 2009, 5:11 am

timeisdead wrote:
Quote:
It's probably like an arms race or something, all about the reputation--first one person puts up a false front, so you have to do it too or look worse than them; then your competitors can't admit they aren't what they're saying they are either, even though everybody knows; so you can't admit it, either; so everybody develops the ability to see through what people are saying anyway, to compensate for the fact that everybody else is acting...


Actually, you don't have to put up a false front. You could point out the flaws in their language and tell them what they really mean. Analyze them to death and tell them the cold brutal truth about themselves. They will at first vehemently deny it but if you press them, they will admit to it because questioning them often sends them into an irrational rage. Then when they admit to it, you can rub it in their faces, essentially telling others around them they are full of sh**.

You have just stumbled over the reason most aspies don't have a lot of "friends". ^^


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Last edited by Silvervarg on 20 Aug 2009, 5:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 5:12 am

Callista wrote:
Yeah, but you can't say "hate" correctly over such a small incident! Seeing someone cute and discovering they're taken isn't going to make most people hate the cute person's significant other. "A little jealous and annoyed" seems more appropriate to that sort of situation--and possibly "very disappointed", too, though that would be more anger at the situation, wouldn't it? Anyway, I don't think anyone who doesn't automatically switch on strong emotions (some people do, most don't) would be correctly saying the second paragraph. "Hate" has a connotation of not just strength but durability--a long-term aversion, a desire to see the other person come to harm, maybe even the active willingness to make (or let) that happen.


It may have that connotation but that's not how the dictionary defines the term.
If she truly had serious a crush on that person, she may hate his significant other for a long duration, or at least until he is free. With jealousy, she would feel animosity towards that girl for taking what she felt she deserved. She may or may not wish harm upon her due to jealousy.



timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 5:16 am

Silvervarg wrote:
timeisdead wrote:
Quote:
It's probably like an arms race or something, all about the reputation--first one person puts up a false front, so you have to do it too or look worse than them; then your competitors can't admit they aren't what they're saying they are either, even though everybody knows; so you can't admit it, either; so everybody develops the ability to see through what people are saying anyway, to compensate for the fact that everybody else is acting...


Actually, you don't have to put up a false front. You could point out the flaws in their language and tell them what they really mean. Analyze them to death and tell them the cold brutal truth about themselves. They will at first vehemently deny it but if you press them, they will admit to it because questioning them often sends them into an irrational rage. Then when they admit to it, you can rub it in their faces, essentially telling others around them they are full of sh**.

You have just stumbled over the reason most aspies don't have a lot of "friends". ^^

In my view, quality is better than quantity. 8) In my view, if you can provoke your enemy into breaking down and showing his true colors, you have won the battle.



Last edited by timeisdead on 20 Aug 2009, 5:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

timeisdead
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20 Aug 2009, 5:20 am

Silvervarg wrote:
timeisdead wrote:
Silvervarg wrote:
Because their lack of interesting things in life makes talking about them very boring unless you exaggerate the impact it had. ;)

Let's view it for a moment:
Quote:
I met a new guy/girl at work today, he/she was kind of cute and charming so I desided to ask him/her out, but before I had the chance his/her very nice looking boy-/girlfriend came in to say goodbye. I have to confess I became a little jealous.

Doesn't sound very interesting does it? You can talk about it for 5 min and then everything has been said, neither will you get any atention either, but if you phrase it like this it might give a better response.
Quote:
I met this new guy/girl at work today, he/she was sooo hot and smart and I just fell for him/her on the spot and I saw that he/she was really into me too, but suddenly some trash guy/girl came in and ruined everything, infront of everyone they made out like there were no tomorrow. Disgusting. I hate that trashy ******.


Did that help? ^^


The second is actually being more emotionally honest than the first. It is clear there was jealousy involved from the paragraph. In this case, the word hate is being used appropriately. I'm simply baffled at PC people who claim that hate has to be emotional or irrational when it simply means an extreme aversion. They often claim " I don't hate so and so, I just dislike him" when they really do if you look at their actions.

It was meant to be the same event, from a basicly neutral view and a more "interesting" view. If you hate someone you want them dead, and hopefully suffer alot before they get there. :D

"I want to dig out his eyes with his toenails."
//Very pissed friend.

Edit: Nice to see we agree Callista. ^^


I knew what comparing the two paragraphs was meant to do. I myself wouldn't be bothered by the second paragraph in real life. If I say I hate someone, it doesn't necessarily mean I want that person dead. I just have an extreme dislike or aversion to the person. Not all non-literalness gets to me. I've always known that phrases like "My mom would kill me" aren't to be taken literally. Maybe I overanalyze things.



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20 Aug 2009, 5:27 am

Perhaps what psychologists call a neural disorder is simply the next step in human evolution? Perhaps we are the ones to usher in an age of truth and peace? The actual meaning of 2012 is a shift in consciousness and understanding of the world rather than the end of it. Think about it. Has anyone ever seen the TV show The 4400? I think the concept of that story is true. NTs are the old batch. We are the new.


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20 Aug 2009, 6:01 am

timeisdead wrote:
Callista wrote:
It probably comes partly from a lifetime of communicating with more than just words. When NTs talk, most of what they say isn't in their words, but in other things like movement, posture, tone of voice, gesture, speed, pitch, volume, etc., whereas someone with an ASD may only communicate a small part of what they mean that way.

That means that if an NT makes a statement that is literally untrue, his listener will still pick up the true meaning in many cases. Someone claiming to be in love would probably be talking to a listener who is measuring his mannerisms to figure out whether he is committed to the loved person, or just attracted to him.


I can tell what they mean and can read between the lines of what they say but it truly puzzles me, especially when they distort the meanings of love and hate. Is it to make themselves look better than they actually are by sugarcoating the truth? Anyone in the right mind can tell they don't really mean what they say!
That's it though, they're counting on people to know they don't mean exactly what they say. That's part of the unsaid communication.

I think it's kind of like when you catch a really huge fish and you say "the fish was bigger than me!" You're sort of saying what it FELT like, rather than exactly what it was. Words are limited, so most people use them abstractly to give an accurate description of the FEELING or IMPRESSION they're trying to convey, since they can't usually convey it successfully otherwise.

I agree that some people should really tighten up their language because I've seen people just using completely the wrong words on many occassions, but I think most NTs do keep an eye on it, and correct or counter-ballance their words when it gets too far away from the real definition. Like "Ooooh, I HATE her!" (said in anger, but then the more rational part of them will cause them to follow it with: ) "I mean, I don't HATE hate her, but she just makes me sooooo mad." etc


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Last edited by wigglyspider on 20 Aug 2009, 6:11 am, edited 1 time in total.