DSM---seeking to share enjoyment

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DSM criteria in AS: "a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)"

Yes---I feel like that---how about you? And if so, why?

For me:

I feel awkward socially sharing what I am into. It doesn't feel right to me---if I do share something I feel like I have entered into an unfamiliar world.

Why should I share my interests? They are my personal world that no one else understands (I realize this more now as I have gotten older). I used to assume that others would be as interested in my interests as I was---but now I know that is not true. But even then, I felt uncomfortable when sharing interests with others---unless it was with my best friend.

But here at the WrongPlanet it is different isn't it? We communicate behind the coldness of a computer screen. We don't see each other or hear each other. We aren't in each other's faces. This is a message forum---not that social in the socializing sense. But yet, I feel I have gotten to know many of you very well. But---we are also together in one thing (AS/autism), and that gives us something of a similarity that makes it easier to communicate here.

Anyway, I am anxious to hear your thoughts on this.

I went through the DSM with my psychologist recently. I think it might be true of some aspies but maybe not others. Not for me.. Im always telling people about what I read. When I was a kid i used to bring my bugs to school... people made fun of them though. though if I do a piece of writing or poetry I think that is sort of private, I dont show others that.

Last edited by zen_mistress on 19 Aug 2009, 10:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have many different interests and am quite spontaneous so I used to share my enjoyments easily.
Nowadays it's less often.

If bugs were a "special interest" then its not the same. Its using special interests or things you know a lot about to overcome social dyslexia. Talking about other things must be some kind of social communication or small talk.

Er, Im not sure what you mean by what you wrote. Yes the bugs were a special interest, though my interests werent as intense as a lot of aspies. I think I have sometimes spontaneously shown people stuff. It was easier to show people things or talk about a topic than it was to do banter and small talk.

I talked about my obsessions growing up and I talked a lot so I don't meet that part of the criteria. Heck if you take it literal, everyone meets it because not everyone shares interests or talk to people when they don't feel like it. I don't understand how aspies can meet that part if they prefer to talk about their special interest or obsessions. Maybe they meet it sometimes because they don't feel like chatting with a group of people. I don't do that either so maybe I do meet it at times. Only time I don't meet it is if I talk to my husband, talk to a person, talk in the aspie group.

It just doesn't occur to me to share stuff.

I saw a documentary with a boy with very obvious Asperger's who was obsessed by Star Wars. He kept talking about it. This raises the question: Does that mean he and other Aspies that talk about "special interests" dont meet the part of the criteria about spontaneous sharing? I think the answer is that sharing "special interests" is distinctly different to normal social conversation refered to in the criteria as "lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment".

For example in the movie Adam, Adam was sharing his astronomy interest but thats not lunch talk. Now we have small talk, banter and lunch talk. Astronomy is not lunch talk.

I look back and see I did that too and still do. These days I catch myself and make sure the other person is interested. Even then I hold back and try to change the topic without ending the conversation.

Yep, that's sharing information, even if it's an interest. Some people with AS keep it to themselves and don't share it (so they don't really interact with people much, considering that the special interest is usually the main component for socialization in people with AS).

The complete wording is "a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)". I can't see how sharing "special interests" could not be considered similar to "showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people".

All the point of "it is not appropriate talk for the situation" fits in the symptom "lack of social or emotional reciprocity", not in the "lack of spontaneous seeking..."

Again, I remember that, if you have really "Asperger's Syndrome" as defined in the DSM, probably you can't have most of AS symptoms listed in the DSM - if you have more than 4 of the 8 symptoms in the areas "Qualitative impairment in social interaction" and "Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior", you only need a comunication symptom (like "failure in initiate or sustain a conversation" or "repetitive or idiosincratic speech") to have Autism, instead of AS.

It's got to be evident before the age of three though. Which pretty much means the individual only echoes words or rarely talks at all, even if he or she has the ability to produce spoken words. This is quite evident in appearance, and it wouldn't go unnoticed for the most part.

Yes, sharing an interest is "sharing of enjoyment".

"Not spontaneously sharing enjoyment", as Daniel said, applies to the child who sits in the playground by themselves, playing with their marbles quietly, ignoring the other children, some aspies may have been like this in childhood.

I wonder if this qualifies?

last week I was with my son and he saw a car that appealed to him, so he said "look at that awesome car, mom", but he gave no physical indicator as to which direction I should look... no pointing or moving his body in its direction. I missed seeing the car. he does things like that quite often.

he wants to share, but it's awkward for him to communicate it. I think he might actually have AS because I keep noticing things like this, along with talking incessantly about certain things, stimming, and dislike of social situations, especially with his age group.

I think over the years I got very burnt by trying to share my special interests with others who had absolutely no interest in what fascinated me. As an adult I almost have to be convinced someone is truly worthy before I share my passions However, I have eventually found that asking others about their interests is a pretty safe conversation convention for me and I am baffled by how often people express very limited enthusiasm for their hobbies. So why on earth do they do them at all?! ! In fact, I often use the open-ended question "So, tell me what it is about [fill in activity] that keeps you doing it?" Most people have reasonable, even poetic, answers, but many give me a blank look. In my book, these people have an impaired ability to share, themselves.

I don't know. My parents used to say that I rarely share experiences spontaneously, but I'm not sure whether it just doens't occur to me or I'd actually feel awkward or something.