trust

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anyone else here gone through a traumatic event like rape or anything else that would give a person serious trust issues, have "friends" who take off because they say they can't deal with your trust issues, even if you're doing everything you can (therapy, for example) to address those trust issues?

i'm just curious if this phenomenon is unique to me or if others have experienced this as well. and when i say traumatic events i'm talking stuff that gives you PTSD for the rest of your life, nightmares, panic attacks, etc. stuff like that.

I can't say that I have that issue. I just felt like replying because nobody else has. Sorry.

Life is trauma

Trust no one

I haven't had anything serious ever happen that I am aware of, although it is the minor things that impact me the most (or, they are considered traumatic to me personally). Wether or not I am interpreting reality correctly, I do often lose trust in people easily over things that most people would consider minor.

I don't even trust myself to make a competent decision of who to trust.

Nothing like that has happened to me, so I am still in the "trust everyone until they wrong you" mode. I guess it can be dangerous, but that's how I feel.

I'm very sensitive about rights and freedoms, and very sensitive to violation. Some things that happened to me in a mental hospital that wouldn't have traumatized a lot of people still haven't left me over a year after they happened.

thanks marshall, i appreciate the sentiment

i'm curious if anyone else has lost friends over this issue or if it's only my friends who abandon me because traumatic s**t is done to me by other people. i need to understand whether this is just something that happens, or if there is something specifically about me that is causing it to happen, like something i'm doing.

Yes, I did have this experience. But I was very fortunate that when I was really truly in love with someone, he stuck around, and I honestly think helped me more than he could ever know. Sadly, he died. But he was pretty unique. I've learned not to trust most people. He was the exception.

I hope you find a friend like that.

I don't think I completely understand what a trust issue is. Does it mean that you feel like you want to get closer but can't because you're afraid. Or do you feel like you have be more demanding of them because you have to make sure they're not going to abandon you?

I don't really trust anyone. You just never know. People are so difficult sometimes. You just never know.

for me the problem is allowing myself to open up to people emotionally--there is always a certain distance between me and other people, including people i've known for years, good friends, and even close family members. i also have trouble feeling safe around others (around anyone, really) and when i say safe i mean not just physically safe but emotionally safe, like supported emotionally. i also have serious abandonment issues because of neglect and emotional abuse throughout my first 18 years of life, as well as later abuse and abandonment by friends, relatives, and a fiancee. i just find it impossible to truly believe that someone won't find some way, somewhere down the line, to back out, pull the rug out from under me, use me, betray me, hurt me (physically or emotionally), etc etc etc because that's what always happens, eventually. they always hurt me and then leave in the end. so there is always a part of me that is hesitant, separate, alone. apparently this is all the more reason for people to hurt and abandon me, so i've been told.

does that make any more sense? i'm on a lot of medication right now and starting to get really drowsy.

Well you're very beautiful so that could have something to do with why you got raped.

you need to crawl off somewhere and die. now.

How can you say that to someone!!!How can you even think it?!

mindovermatter that was an incredibly ignorant thing to say. You need to learn a few things. Hope you do.

I heard a woman who's 5 year old daughter was raped say exactly the same thing.