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DonkeyBuster
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18 Aug 2009, 9:09 pm

Is this just me or is it the AS?
How common is this?

I have a love/hate relationship with the telephone. Mostly I have resistance to making phone calls, and often to answering the phone, along with returning calls. I am frequently awkward and uncomfortable with personal calls... business calls go better. However, sometimes I do become comfortable with personal calls and can talk for an hour with a friend/relative on the phone.

This came up because a new friend who knows about the AS (he is bipolar) wants to discuss a mutual friend with whom I am having difficulty. He has known her longer and is being supportive, but he wants to talk on the phone about this, and I am reluctant. I'd rather continue by snail mail.

And it just got me to wondering... do others find the phone a mixed blessing?



Maggiedoll
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18 Aug 2009, 9:17 pm

I hate phones. Whenever I attempt to make phone calls, everything goes wrong. If I'm calling to find out about something, try to get an appointment, whatever, everything I do is wrong and I end up being told that everything is hopeless. Even if it's absolutely ridiculous and whoever I'm talking to has the answer to my question, they'll tell me they don't. (Like, I was having issues getting through to social security.. it ended up being my fault because I had the digits mixed up.. but so I called social services to find out if there was another number. It was the local social security office that I needed to talk to anyways, and I couldn't find that in the phone book. The person at social services told me that there is no other number besides the national toll-free number for social security, and that there was nobody else there who would possibly have any other number at which I could reach social security. WTF?!)



idiocratik
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18 Aug 2009, 9:22 pm

I hate talking on the phone. When in HS it was common, and a lot of new information was fresh on my mind, so I had things to rant about.

Today, I don't even want to call to order a pizza. I order online. If I want to find out if a store has something, I'm not going to call to find out. I'd rather go and make my own assessment.

What I hate most is when someone calls me, but all they do is breathe as if being on the phone is an acceptable form of real company. No thanks. If I'm going to talk to anyone, I prefer it in text form or in person.

I once tried working for a local classifieds newspaper. I applied as a proofreader, but they wanted to train me in everything, including taking phone ads. When they wanted me to try a mock phone call, I couldn't do it. I refused, and then quit.


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gramirez
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18 Aug 2009, 9:24 pm

I like the idea of talking on the phone, but I absolutely hate actually doing it.


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grinningcat
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18 Aug 2009, 9:59 pm

absolutely hate it. I think I make about 6 personal calls a year or so and I have to make myself do those otherwise I will find some reason not to call. I probably get about that many back (barring telemarketers). I would rather type than talk. Thankfully I am not obliged to answer the phone at work too often, although I have my "script" for that - most questions are pretty stock quality, and so there are stock answers for most of it :lol:

I also hate being in a store trying to ask a question, and the clerk is trying to be polite by talking to me and ignoring the phone. The ringing really distracts my train of thought, and by the time they do answer it I am ready to yell "ANSWER THE #*($& THING ALREADY!" because I probably could have gotten my question out faster if they would have just put the party on hold and not had that bloody ringer going in my ear. Auggh. I tend to turn off the ringer at home, because it tends to scare the life out of me when it rings (and probably no one would be thus surprised to learn - I don't own a cell phone).


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bluebandit
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18 Aug 2009, 10:14 pm

I used to only have problems calling people on the phone. It's gotten worse and now I have problems answering the phone as well. Too much bad news by phone call, now all I can think is someone's sick, dead, etc. I hate, hate , hate phones.



Brittany2907
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18 Aug 2009, 10:24 pm

I think phones are convenient...for those who can use them without stuttering.
Everytime I have to call someone I stutter when I am trying to say hello. Sometimes I just hang up if I can't get the word out & at other times I get the word out but by the time I do, they have hung up because they think it's a prank caller.
I am ok at answering the phone though, I'm not sure why there's a difference.

Yes they are a mixed blessing.


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SingInSilence
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18 Aug 2009, 10:58 pm

I hate making calls on the phone. I am willing to answer it (because it's usually not for me), but I will not make the calls myself.


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hartzofspace
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18 Aug 2009, 11:45 pm

I have a love/hate thing with the phone, too. I hate when it rings, because I always jump a mile. But I have figured out that I actually prefer the phone to in person, because I don't have to decipher facial expressions and non verbal cues. But only if I know the person. I find it agonizing when I have to speak socially to a stranger, like when one of my brothers insists that I say a few words to their girlfriend, or their wife, just to be polite.


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18 Aug 2009, 11:55 pm

HATEHATEHATE talking on the phone. People always want to chitchat, and i never know what to say. In real life when i don't know what to say i can at least find something random in our surroundings to make a comment on or something. If there's a specific thing i want to tell someone or want to find out, then it's okay... but otherwise it's just confusing. At work i have to talk on the phone whenever someone calls.. And even though it's usually just a question that i need to answer it's still annoying and uncomfortable. It's harder to hear people correctly over the phone, so i find myself saying "what?" even more often than usual.. and in real life it's easier to explain things because you can point to things and stuff. It's just more difficult to me to try to explain something over the phone. When i do have to make a call, like calling in sick to work, it usually takes me a few minutes to think about what i'm going to say and mentally prepare(sometimes i talk over what i should say with my parents).



Lyriel
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19 Aug 2009, 12:50 am

I've had difficulties with using the phone since childhood. I find it difficult, if not impossible, to call someone, and I rarely answer unless I know who's calling, or I'm expecting a call. I feel so un-natural talking on the telephone... The fact that my speech can sometimes be broken as I try to translate my thoughts makes things worse.

I especially hate answering the phone for other people. Of course, now that I have my own cell phone, that isn't as much of an issue anymore.

I have no problem with texting, though, and my next cell phone will be one with a full QWERTY keyboard just for that reason. ;)



polymathpoolplayer
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19 Aug 2009, 1:02 am

While I do not hate making/receiving calls, I just can't gather my wits fast enough and I frequently say stupid things, or my emotions become transparent or I get lost for words and sometimes even say things I don't mean by using a wrong word, whereas in writing I can proof it and make it "right".

I sense most here would agree, so this is just one more thing we have to convince the world about: that corresponding via email is not less important, nor is it a snub, and in fact increases our "communications quotient" in the NT world.

Also, in my business, I can actually see what clients have said as I keep all emails from them/to them, so by using email it helps me control policies better.

So it's win-win.



DarrylZero
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19 Aug 2009, 1:24 am

I generally don't mind business calls because the reasons for the calls are fairly limited, so I'm fairly comfortable with them. Unless I get a call requesting technical help when I've had no time to prepare because my thoughts get jumbled and I feel pressured to respond without having anything coherent to say.

I have tremendous amounts of anxiety with personal calls, especially making them. I actually prefer talking to someone in person than on the phone, assuming it's a one-on-one situation. With anyone other than my friend I prefer e-mail to anything else; I'm much better at written communication than verbal.



nara44
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19 Aug 2009, 5:07 am

DonkeyBuster wrote:
Is this just me or is it the AS?
How common is this?


i disconnected my line phone
never answered it anyway
i keep the mobile open for sms's from work and gf
can't talk on the phone and,
never could do it
lucky for us it is becoming much easier to manage your life through writing as everyday more and more services are getting online



zer0netgain
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19 Aug 2009, 6:27 am

I hate phones too (while I deal with it at work all the time).

The telephone denies you access to someone's face, and while having AS means I might not respond correctly to someone on the phone, it denies me ANY information about the other person's reaction, and I have to be very careful about how and what I say.



xalepax
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19 Aug 2009, 6:47 am

I totally HATE phones too!! ! Glad to know Im not the only one!

I do all my communication in writing. Have a cell phone but its disabled for calling and only used for SMS
I only accept direct phonecalls from my parents and husband and his parents, nobody else

Its HORRIBLE those times when Im FORCED to use a phone
LIke I had the whole summer screwed up meetings with doctors due to me refusing to call them and tell when Im available and not
and they dont give any other option to get in contact.....

that feels very hopeless because my PHONEPHOBIA is very STRONG :(


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