Is it weird that I find transexuals interesting?

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

neptunekh
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 287
Location: Bc Canada

30 Dec 2015, 10:03 am

I even have a friend in Massachusetts who is transwoman.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Dec 2015, 10:05 am

Nothing wrong with that.



Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

30 Dec 2015, 10:12 am

well they are interesting people



GodzillaWoman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2014
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 742
Location: MD, USA

30 Dec 2015, 12:52 pm

I like 'em. They're interesting people and I've known several. Have you seen "The Danish Girl" yet? great movie


_________________
Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.


Magi
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 29 Dec 2015
Age: 1944
Posts: 131

30 Dec 2015, 1:46 pm

its weird



neptunekh
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 287
Location: Bc Canada

30 Dec 2015, 3:22 pm

I hope I like it



zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 64
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

30 Dec 2015, 5:23 pm

Why would it be weird? I find the question more intriguing than the notion.


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


TheAP
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,314
Location: Canada

30 Dec 2015, 6:59 pm

I don't think it's weird. I find learning about all the different gender identities to be very interesting.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

30 Dec 2015, 10:29 pm

Maybe we're just that fascinating you can't help yourself :wink:
Head on over to the LGBT forum here if you haven't already and be interested.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 64
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

30 Dec 2015, 10:54 pm

C2V wrote:
Maybe we're just that fascinating you can't help yourself :wink:
Head on over to the LGBT forum here if you haven't already and be interested.
Here's my fear. I have an honest curiosity about many aspects of any trans experience that can be shared. But, I don't know how to ask, what to ask or anything else to at least educate myself so that I don't accidentally offend. So many questions I would love to ask, but worry about doing something stupid like I do in any other social situation.


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

30 Dec 2015, 11:50 pm

zkydz wrote:
C2V wrote:
Maybe we're just that fascinating you can't help yourself :wink:
Head on over to the LGBT forum here if you haven't already and be interested.
Here's my fear. I have an honest curiosity about many aspects of any trans experience that can be shared. But, I don't know how to ask, what to ask or anything else to at least educate myself so that I don't accidentally offend. So many questions I would love to ask, but worry about doing something stupid like I do in any other social situation.


I think the one really offensive and rude thing that trans people get asked about that you should probably avoid is their genitals (people ask them all the time, like it's any of their business what's in someone else's underwear--so avoid that question). Other than that, as long as you let them know that you want to understand in a spirit of acceptance then it should be ok to ask about their experience. Just be polite and considerate like you would be asking anyone else about their life.



zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 64
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

30 Dec 2015, 11:56 pm

wilburforce wrote:
zkydz wrote:
C2V wrote:
Maybe we're just that fascinating you can't help yourself :wink:
Head on over to the LGBT forum here if you haven't already and be interested.
Here's my fear. I have an honest curiosity about many aspects of any trans experience that can be shared. But, I don't know how to ask, what to ask or anything else to at least educate myself so that I don't accidentally offend. So many questions I would love to ask, but worry about doing something stupid like I do in any other social situation.


I think the one really offensive and rude thing that trans people get asked about that you should probably avoid is their genitals (people ask them all the time, like it's any of their business what's in someone else's underwear--so avoid that question). Other than that, as long as you let them know that you want to understand in a spirit of acceptance then it should be ok to ask about their experience. Just be polite and considerate like you would be asking anyone else about their life.
Bear with me as I try to explain this....
I had to laugh when I read the response. Not because what you said was funny. It's because I would have probably asked because I'm that lacking in tact. And, probably most everyone else for that matter. So, I laugh at my ignorance. It was a good laugh. But, you gotta admit, for the non-educated, that's probably number one because it's so personal and they want to know how it works to transition.

But, good to know. Anything else to know, please let me know because what I genuinely want to know is never to be invasive. But, it can seem that way. Been told that throughout my life.


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


wilburforce
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,940

31 Dec 2015, 12:08 am

zkydz wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
zkydz wrote:
C2V wrote:
Maybe we're just that fascinating you can't help yourself :wink:
Head on over to the LGBT forum here if you haven't already and be interested.
Here's my fear. I have an honest curiosity about many aspects of any trans experience that can be shared. But, I don't know how to ask, what to ask or anything else to at least educate myself so that I don't accidentally offend. So many questions I would love to ask, but worry about doing something stupid like I do in any other social situation.


I think the one really offensive and rude thing that trans people get asked about that you should probably avoid is their genitals (people ask them all the time, like it's any of their business what's in someone else's underwear--so avoid that question). Other than that, as long as you let them know that you want to understand in a spirit of acceptance then it should be ok to ask about their experience. Just be polite and considerate like you would be asking anyone else about their life.
Bear with me as I try to explain this....
I had to laugh when I read the response. Not because what you said was funny. It's because I would have probably asked because I'm that lacking in tact. And, probably most everyone else for that matter. So, I laugh at my ignorance. It was a good laugh. But, you gotta admit, for the non-educated, that's probably number one because it's so personal and they want to know how it works to transition.

But, good to know. Anything else to know, please let me know because what I genuinely want to know is never to be invasive. But, it can seem that way. Been told that throughout my life.


It's simple--when you encounter a trans person (in real life or online) and you would like to ask them about their experience but don't want to be invasive or rude, say just that: "I would like to ask you about your experience, but I don't want to be invasive or rude. Would you like to talk to me so I can understand better?" Then I would just let them lead the conversation. They will let you know what they're willing to talk about and what they're not if you ask them politely. As long as you're coming from a perspective of genuine curiosity and a desire to understand and accept, that should come across.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

31 Dec 2015, 12:23 am

Quote:
Here's my fear. I have an honest curiosity about many aspects of any trans experience that can be shared. But, I don't know how to ask, what to ask or anything else to at least educate myself so that I don't accidentally offend. So many questions I would love to ask, but worry about doing something stupid like I do in any other social situation.

And -
Quote:
I had to laugh when I read the response. Not because what you said was funny. It's because I would have probably asked because I'm that lacking in tact. And, probably most everyone else for that matter. So, I laugh at my ignorance. It was a good laugh. But, you gotta admit, for the non-educated, that's probably number one because it's so personal and they want to know how it works to transition
.
From the other end of this, I have been notoriously unhelpful when it comes to disclosing personal information about transition to outside parties. "I am not a trans information booth," is my usual reply.
Because usually, people don't honestly and openly want to understand in a respectful way and to better educate themselves about the experiences of others. They want to squeal over the circus freak. Bottom surgery is infamous here. Asking a transperson if they have had "the chop," or "built the pole out of the hole" is not cool. If you're interested in the subject, though, asking the person for directions to reading material on this without directly asking them about the intimate nature of their own body, is respectful. So, you might ask about reliable information about vaginoplasty or phalloplasty/metoidioplasty because you want to understand, without encroaching on the person's privacy. You wouldn't ask a cis person questions about their genitals, or even think it appropriate to ask a paraplegic if they can still get an erection or how sex works for them, but trans people seem to get asked the most personal, inappropriate questions as if that's ok.
Even transpeople get worried about prying when asking others these questions, but I don't have the same reservations about others. Because I know they are asking because this may be something they are facing themselves, and are often afraid of what the surgeries involve and how that will impact their bodies and their lives. Thus I'm very open with other trans people because they need to know. They're not just asking because I'm a freak and it's bizarre and funny. Not to imply you're asking for those reasons at all, either :)


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 64
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

31 Dec 2015, 1:15 am

C2V wrote:
..."I am not a trans information booth," is my usual reply....
Great response!! LOL
C2V wrote:
.....You wouldn't ask a cis person questions about their genitals, or even think it appropriate to ask a paraplegic if they can still get an erection or how sex works for them, but trans people seem to get asked the most personal, inappropriate questions as if that's ok.......
Ummmm, yeah, I have asked those questions to CIS people. Personal boundaries are a problem with me when it comes to special interests. One of mine is anatomy. It's one of the things that has pissed many a girlfriend off. More than once I got hell for "Noticing everything!!" I dunno...but I am honestly curious about all aspects. But, also afraid the village idiot would come out.

Reading material would be cool.


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


Jimothy1669
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 79
Location: Cambridge

31 Dec 2015, 11:21 am

I was going to respond to this but C2V's latest post pretty much says everything I was going to!

I don't think it's weird to find trans people interesting, but I think it's important to remember that we're humans too, and many of us don't like people being interested in us solely because we're trans. Seconding what C2V says about asking questions without phrasing them as a direct interrogation of the person you're asking. If you're looking for information, places like youtube are a good resource as well, as lots of trans people create informational videos and vlogs for cis audiences.