Question about taking things liturally.

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Quinster
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30 Aug 2009, 8:53 am

Can u have AS and not have a problem knowing when people are being rhetorical, or sarcastic or when to take things liturally or not or only have a minor problem with those thing? Would that disqualify you from diagnosis if you had all the other traits? Does not understanding how to interpret metaphorical language count in taking things liturally if you know it is metaphorical. Like for example, someone says "what does your heart tell you to do" You know its not liturally ment to be your heart talking, its some vague reference to some emotional thing that you cant quite interpret into logical meaningfull language. Is that part of having AS?



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30 Aug 2009, 10:01 am

Yes I think you can have Asperger's without that specificity. Or rather I don't "think", I have read it somewhere but I cannot quote it precisely. I know usually girls with AS do not have that problem as much as boys.
I do have it, but I learnt mechanically some metaphores so that I remember not to find them weird if somebody says them. And actually, a lot of old schoolmates used to find cool the fact that when someone asks me "Do you have the time?" I answer "Yes" ^^

Anyway, being an Asperger does not mean belonging to one precise schema, we all have more or less autistic characteristics. Do you intend to ask a psychologist for a diagnostic?



gramirez
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30 Aug 2009, 10:04 am

I don't have that. (meaning, I can tell when people are being rhetorical or sarcastic)


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30 Aug 2009, 10:08 am

I think it is a stereotype that generally doesnt apply. "Its raining cats and dogs" = metaphore.

For me the problem is more when someone asks "How are you? Is everything all right?" = HEAD EXPLOSION for me. I mean of course everything is never ALL right because that would be utopia. But you have to answer "Yes, everything is fine." instead of thinking about what specifically is not perfect, otherwise the person gets to invade your life to "help you". Grrrrrrr



Quinster
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30 Aug 2009, 10:21 am

Cheers, good to know.

I did try going to a psychologist but he said if i wanted a girlfriend then I couldnt have aspergers. He also had other strange idea's such as girls cant have aspergers. And that is as far as the discussion went. I didnt go back, didnt think it was worth it if he was that ignorant on the matter. So im just trying to figure things out for myself.

yeh I tottally get you on the how r u thing. But What I really have a problem with is when people say "whats up/wassup". I hate it. I have no idea how to reply. At least "how are you" you just say "i am fine" it makes sence even though its usually a lie. But what is the correct way to answer "whats up". you cant say "fine". That makes no sence. "nothing" doesnt seem like the right way to answer. grr. lol



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30 Aug 2009, 10:33 am

I used to take things seriously until I mechanically learned about a dozen or so of the most often used metaphors, and now use them myself, in the most proper formats when possible.

However, I was once asked "how are you?" and gave a five minute answer detailing my current emotions and plans for after I finished grocery shopping (since I'm such a routine oriented creature). They left before I could finish my answer. Why I try, I honestly don't know.



Maggiedoll
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30 Aug 2009, 10:53 am

There are different degrees of taking things literally, too. It's really part of the general problem with non-verbal communication, and just not being good at gauging what people mean by things.
I don't think you have to be like Amelia Bedelia to have the issue.



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30 Aug 2009, 11:10 am

Quinster wrote:
I did try going to a psychologist but he said if i wanted a girlfriend then I couldnt have aspergers.

Rubbish! Of course many Aspies do not want to throw themselves in relationships, but they have a need of love like anyone. Isabelle Enaud explains this very well in her book about Aspergers and sexuality (which deals with both affection and love, and sexual behaviours).

Quinster wrote:
He also had other strange idea's such as girls cant have aspergers.

8O This psychologist should definitely call his knowledge into question and read a few books about it. Like I said, girls are often less affected than boys, and there are fewer girls diagnosed (figures vary alot, I've read 10 boys for 1 girl, and 4 boys for 1 girl. But the idea is the same.). But it does not mean girls cannot have Asperger's, or else my own diagnosis is false (gulp!).

I advise you this that can help you figuring out what in you is rather an Asperger's characteristic or not. Just use it to give you an idea, but in any case is this a real diagnosis. It confirmed some things I presumed about myself, and as I love taking quizzes, I also enjoyed it.

"What's up" bothers me too. If the person saying it is pretty close to me, I generally joke away answering "the sky". It is not too difficult, because I really used to understand it literally. Huhu.



Quinster
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30 Aug 2009, 11:28 am

I took that quiz a couple of hours ago. I got likely am an aspie and scored 139 of 200. I would like to try to get a diagnosis, if i could afford to go straight to a specialist I'd do that. But going through the NHS (im in england) is such a nighmare, and after last time, I'm sure I want to deal with it again. On the other hand. I'm struggling. Hense why im here investigating.


Lol. I've often said the sky, the ceiling, birds, planes, clouds. Take your pick, hehe. I just remembered "not much" seems to be a exceptable responce. I find that I'm ok with knowing its not litural. But nowing how to interpret it is another matter...



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30 Aug 2009, 11:42 am

:) I think the very fact that you ask the question is a good example of taking something too literally. I think you're taking the DSM too literally.

If one can't comprehend a common metaphor, that's not AS, that's stupidity. Not to say that some of those metaphors can't be pet peeves, but I think the issue is broader than that. When someone tells me they're going to do a certain thing at a certain place and time, I tend to naturally assume that they mean what they say. In fact, it downright p***es me off if they don't.

Expected things that don't happen; unexpected things that do happen - both tend to upset me in the same way as having a routine interrupted. I feel unprepared and disoriented because I can't process those mental 45 degree turns fast enough.

But over the years, I have developed the ability to sense (usually) when someone is serious about their spoken intentions and when they're blowing smoke (not literally blowing smoke - that's an abbreviation for a metaphor, meaning "disguising one's genuine intent with insincere rhetoric"). :nerdy:



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30 Aug 2009, 11:52 am

Quinster wrote:
Can u have AS and not have a problem knowing when people are being rhetorical, or sarcastic or when to take things liturally or not or only have a minor problem with those thing? Would that disqualify you from diagnosis if you had all the other traits? Does not understanding how to interpret metaphorical language count in taking things liturally if you know it is metaphorical. Like for example, someone says "what does your heart tell you to do" You know its not liturally ment to be your heart talking, its some vague reference to some emotional thing that you cant quite interpret into logical meaningfull language. Is that part of having AS?


If you work on the problem for decades you might be able to suppress the inclination to take things literally. It is hard work (initially, anyway). Nowadays I can repress my literal urge when I feel like, which is rare. I prefer taking people at their words and not trying to infer meaning which is not explicitly expressed.

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30 Aug 2009, 12:11 pm

I'm a huge consumer of narrative (yes, obsessively). I've read more fiction than anyone else I know, and watched films and TV on a large scale. I can usually calculate from context and experience how literal someone's being, as well as being more familiar than they are with the stereotyped expressions and cliches they use. At work, I'm usually a step or two ahead so rarely surprised. Socially, of course, I'm continually calculating, guessing, or keeping to myself until I think I've done one or the other.



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30 Aug 2009, 12:35 pm

For me it's exactly like conversing in a foreign language, and I think neurologically that's what really is happening.

Stock ritual phrases get formulaic responses, taken from learned dialog. 'How are you' doesn't even require 'fine', informally 'hey' is fine. Or 'hey, s'up?". It's all in the Berlitz Human for Aspies phrase book.

I'm aware that I have a 'not literal' post-processor that parses conversations for alternate meanings. There is a significant time lag, but most of the time I catch it (I think), though not always before I'm responded inappropriately. But even then, if I catch it mid sentence, I can smile and raise my eyebrow and turn things around. Having a wry sense of humor is a social lifesaver.

When people are talking directly about matters of substance, I'm back in my native language.

Quinster: Your therapist was beyond ignorant. My manners prevent me from saying more.

Attwood says the ratio of men to women on the spectrum is about 2:1. Girls are much less likely to be identified as having AS for a bunch of reasons. It is misinterpreted, or masked. And of course we can love people and be in relationships. It's just a little different.

There's lots of neurodiversity, so individuals will have varying patterns. And varying cognitive adaptations.


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Quinster
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30 Aug 2009, 12:57 pm

Yeh, narritive is my thing. But very narrowly, sci-fi and fantasy. So I end up saying things like "frell" (farscape) and Shiney (firefly) So I'm not sure how helpfull it is, lol. But yeh, I hadnt really thought about that, it probably really does help me understand stuff.

I dont think I could respond to "how are you" with hey. I think it would make my head explode and "how are you" usually comes after "hi" so saying "hey" would be like saying hello again and if someone is genuinly asking how u are it would be like you were ignoring them. I dunno, that just doesnt work in my mind.


Nice analogy and the native language, I feel like that.



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30 Aug 2009, 2:25 pm

Quinster wrote:
I end up saying things like "frell" (farscape)

I use that one! All the frellin' time! :P



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30 Aug 2009, 2:43 pm

I'm a literal, concrete thinker and female.

I got made fun of A LOT as a kid for being gullible. it made me feel insecure. my mother criticized me for being "too literal" (wtf does that mean, anyway? who can one be TOO literal? that implies there the crime of being TOO figurative must also exist. if I have to stop being too literal, then people given to figurative speech should stop their inappropriate deviation from the acceptable parameters, whatever those are. Jesus would be in big trouble, I bet.)

I have launched into responses to rhetorical questions. I built a filter for that one. I've also built a sarcasm filter and a double entendre filter. it's a lot of work to run everything through those filters, but once I know which ones are necessary for which people, it's less work. my husband still gets me on occasion, but I get him as well and it's all in fun between us. other people get frustrated with me when I don't get what's obvious to them, but now I understand that's really their problem for assuming it's obvious to everyone, not my problem for taking them literally.