Have you ever tried to change your own persona?

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I was inspired by the thread titled "Have you ever tried to change people?". I was disappointed to learn that it meant changing other people, rather than serially changing into another person. Soooooo.... have you have ever tried to change your own persona, and which aspects and how successful were you and did you do so more than once?

I did try to change from being the strange posh girl into the normal city kid, mainly by trying to change my accent, but I failed hopelessly and just ended up being unable to speak at all. I then tried learning a different language in another country, and adopting the persona of foreigner, which worked partly in that I regained the power of speech and was able to come home where I reverted to my original accent. So I think I'm back where I started.

Yes, I have. I vote Republican and I am a Christian, but after being called everything from bigot, to white supremacist, to sexual user, I feel like I need to vote Democratic and practice something like Wicca.

I tried to be more relaxed about stuff and to 'let go' of things and to not worry all the time.

Big mistake.
Everything went wrong after that. And everything still goes wrong whenever I try to approach something in an easygoing/care free manner.

I would have to change myself when i was a kid I don't know why i did though now i am just myself.

At one point I tried to change my persona as I unhappy with lack of success in social situations. I is a liberating feeling to act as a different personality but it didn't feel like I was being true to myself. Now I just try to modify my body language and certain types of behaviour and social situations are starting to feel less tense and stressful.

Not sure if this was the answer you were looking for

Interesting what you say about learning another language, and adopting a persona with it. That's pretty much what happened to me when I first started learning a second language. I wrote little dialogues that I'd practise, and imagine myself having a conversation with people. When I first got an opportunity to speak French to a real French person, I was completely different from my normal self. My stutters, or nervousness was seen as a consequence of my being foriegn, and they were impresed that I'd bothered to learn their language at all. When I speak French now I have a more outgoing, gregarious personality than when I'm speaking English.

It feels like I have a slightly different personality in different languages. For example, when I was first learning German, I was studying for A levels (not A level German mind) so in German I feel more disciplined, and studious. When I was learning Russian, it was with my mother, and we used to make jokes, laugh, and play games, so in Russian I feel more free spirited and happy go lucky. In Chinese I feel more grown up and maternal, since I started learning it with my son.

I speak quite a few other languages as well, and they don't all have such distinct differences. But when I'm feeling shy in a social situation I think in French, when I'm having to organise my thoughts I think in German, and often when I'm interacting with little children I find myself thinking in Russian, if we're playing, or Chinese if one of them starts crying and needs a hug.

The only draw back with this is, of course, that usually I have to speak English, and sometimes a word or phrase in the language I'm thinking in will pop out, and folks don't know what I'm doing. Usually they think it's a gibberish thing. But this has certainly helped me when I've been very stressed to adopt protective clothing, as it were.

Yes. I acted more normal around kids who thought I was a show off and weird and it took so much energy and I didn't feel comfortable around them so I tried to avoid them as much as possible. I also learned to be more flexible so I wouldn't be disabled and I would be able to hold down a job. My anxiety got better because I learned to control most of it and I just avoid situations that will cause one. I also learned to remain calm like if I get stuck in traffic and learned to not get anxiety if I can't find my keys. Just keep looking in my purse for them to make sure they aren't there before I have one or else I have had one for nothing.

Now I feel I have no emotions and I feel less of them because I spent my time ignoring them and telling them to shut up but hey I'd rather live this way than being disabled and having anxiety. I also would rather be happy than being upset about things that goes on in life.

I don't think I ever went back to where I was before.

Let's see if I can get this out in a way that makes sense.

Growing up, I knew that I had to compromise and negotiate common ground if was going to communicate and get along with people. I realized that to some extent I was constructing personas and presenting them, rather than being spontaneous, but when I would relax and just be myself, people thought I was weird. I tried to imagine being like certain people, but found it difficult. So all I really did was smooth out the rough spots of who I really was.

Then I accidentally fell into being at the epicenter of cool, and everyone wanted to be my friend, and be in shows I worked on, and write in the 'zines I helped edit and stuff. I discovered an alternative community where I could be my weird self, because I was surrounded by other freaks, and it was all really creative and fun. And I found I really liked having green hair. My persona seemed totally different, because I was very sociable, but it was because I was in control of the script, and everything I did had purpose.

When that wave passed, I was kinda relieved to return to being a quiet loner. But I learned that I can switch to the other mode when I want to, if the situation is right. It doesn't help me hang out and make small talk though. I'm still allergic.

I do it like, every new year, LOL. In Year 7 I was incredibly paranoid, and in Year 8 I decided to f**k it and be social and to ignore the voice in side my head who said they were just there to make fun of me, then in Year 9 I said f**k it again but about having friends(idk why) and now in Year 10 I'm going back to wear I was in Year 8. Year 8 was the best year in High School imo, so yeah.
I also sometimes try to copy traits from my favourite characters in TV shows, like I really wanted to damage my foot so I'd limp like Doctor Gregory House, and I also wanted to be more pragmatic like Doctor Temperance Brenan and I started spouting out random facts like Doctor Specer Reid. In the end I gave up on that- I looked like an idiot XD.
EMZ=]

Truthfully I'm scared to change. Since learning about AS it helps me understand my mistakes and from talking on WP I think I could perhaps put some behavior change ideas into practice but I'm SO SCARED I'll lose my sense of self along the way it scares me really bad. I don't want to change but to not make mistakes like I have in the past I kind of have to and yet I'm scared I'll become someone I'm not!! !!

I had a much flatter affect before I broke up with my first boyfriend...I was a lot more stiff and awkward and constantly uncomfortable..(and I was the lead singer in a band ...Then when I hit 22, I broke up with him, cut my hair, moved away from home and gradually evolved into who I am today....I started talking with more inflection...anyway....but it is not a very good persona....I need to adopt one that might make me be more social...I have really bad habits for a person who has to constantly deal with the public...

Believe it or not, yes, I have. Many times. What happened was, well, it's just...not me. I put a lot into it, but like my old self just wouldn't eventually die out or something. My old self was always there, and my new self was never able to get a firm hold. So...I just gave up. It's such a relief that now I know why I am the way I am in many ways. My counselor said it wasn't the point to try to change me, but more like work with me. Not sure if I'm making much sense. And it's odd, however, I've thought I would like my parents and my brother to work with me and my counselor as well.

When I was in third grade something happened which I don’t wish to really talk about and I became practically a robot. I didn’t talk much and if I did it was more than likely monotone. I followed rules obsessively and worried over them constantly. I did not touch other people and I did not let other people touch me. I walked (hell, still do this) rather stiffly and awkwardly. I had to wash my hands every five minutes, and I refused to touch anything. This was my very first change in persona I guess. I didn’t really think about becoming a robot, it just sort of happened as a way to cope. Machines don’t feel after all, so if I became a machine I’d be happier.

But, as most of you know, as you grow older your peers become less tolerable of differences and then more tolerable again (but between the ages of 12-15 are like…the worst). So I had to work on making myself less of a robot and more of a human being.

Reading your guy’s posts I wish I could have learned another language. Perhaps that would have made it easier for me. Instead, I was rather stupid. You know how people have a propensity for telling blonde jokes to blondes? Being the terribly literal person that I am, I took them as a sort of guide and thought that I was expected to act like an idiot because my hair color was naturally blonde. It really wasn’t that difficult to act stupid, I just had to mimic the people around me (my that sounds cynical, hah) and I’ve never been very socially with it. So I guess I could say that I’ve adopted the dumb blonde persona in order to be accepted. Now I realize that I don’t have to be a ditz in order to be accepted, but I can’t seem to loose the persona I’ve built up. I guess it really doesn’t matter so long as I know I’m not stupid, even if I really am clumsy and ditzy and blonde.

And just sort of an off note:

Yeah but it doesn't last for long because I can't deny who I truly am.

Throughout my life, from childhood to the present, I have unwittingly modelled myself on a range of different characters, both real and imagined. By modelled I mean that I adopted select mannerisms, figures of speech and even the fashion of whichever persona I was interested in. Some of these "idols" have been, variously and at different times: Squall Leonhart from the game Final Fantasy 8; Patrick Bateman from American Psycho (needless to say, I did not assume his antisocial quirks!); Dexter Morgan from the same-titled TV show (again, I ignored his somewhat antisocial hobby); and a range of conceptual characters from other media, including music albums and books. The one thing these characters share is that they're alienated in different ways from the people around them, and hide what they really are. I suppose I could relate to that at some level.