What % of the time are you supposed to make eye contact?

Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

TowerCrane
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 42

13 Aug 2012, 10:21 pm

What percentage of the time are you supposed to make eye contact during a conversation?



UnseenSkye
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2012
Age: 73
Gender: Female
Posts: 119
Location: Cerbat, AZ USA

13 Aug 2012, 11:16 pm

Are you an indigenous aboriginal native person? Then you will likely make very limited eye contact. There's nothing at all unusual in this. It's cultural.

As for my personal Aspie eye contact percentage "guesstimates":

If you are intimate with and trust someone, you might expect to make eye contact about half the time.

If you don't know someone and don't feel comfortable with them, you may make very fleeting and peripheral eye contact (glances).

I suppose research exists regarding "eye contact percentages", but I believe this is a more individual and personal choice. Just because someone gets kudos for producing a load of scholarly research does not mean they are correct. For all the academic community knows, this person could be an Aspie or HFA person with great compensation strategies.

I've known Aspies who seem to stare holes into others. I've known Aspies who are very self-conscious regards making eye contact and rarely look into anyone else's eyes. I tend to fall into the latter category. When I'm at ease with someone, maybe I make eye contact 20 - 25% of the time. When I don't like someone, I make no eye contact with them at all. I make a great deal of eye contact with my cats.



chris5000
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,599
Location: united states

13 Aug 2012, 11:22 pm

I try to at least glance over when im speaking to someone or someone is speaking to me. it shows that you are listening apparently.



kalor
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 58

13 Aug 2012, 11:48 pm

Copied from my reply in another thread. Context: I'm an Aspie's dad with some traits, but NT.

Because NTs use eye contact to judge the context/feeling of someone while they're talking, eye contact becomes uncomfortable when the two of you are not talking. eg if there's a long pause in the conversation and eye contact is maintained, NTs then try to derive meaning from that. Why is the other person still looking at me? Are they obsessed with me? Is there a zit on my nose? I imagine it's the same discomfort some aspies feel about all eye contact.

Another factor may be the look you give. When a cat's about to pounce its eyes have a totally focused, nothing else exists in the universe kind of look. That creeps NTs out, yet at the same time people want your attention (NTs make no sense!). So you need to look attentive, but not TOO attentive.



Last edited by kalor on 13 Aug 2012, 11:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CrystalStars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,901
Location: Home.

13 Aug 2012, 11:51 pm

I find it's situational, and depends on your relationship with the person in question. I loathe eye contact, although I always flick a glance or two every so often just for "courtesies" sake.


_________________
-- Logan


Webalina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jul 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 787
Location: Piney Woods of East Texas

13 Aug 2012, 11:54 pm

I"ve noticed that I don't look at people's eyes -- I look at their noses or mouths. Could be why I'm such a freak about good teeth -- because I'm looking at them so much. Looking directly into people's eyes unnerves me. When I'm in a conversation with someone and they are doing the talking, I'll look at their face (see above. But when I'm talking -- unless it's with someone I'm VERY close to, like a best friend or partner -- I look away most of the time, with occasional glances to the other person when I'm making a point.



LennytheWicked
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 545

14 Aug 2012, 12:04 am

I stare at something near or behind the person's head the whole time, or I let myself space out while staring in their direction.



Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,777
Location: USA

14 Aug 2012, 12:36 am

My report said my eye contact is normal. I just try to look people in the eye and break contact frequently.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


treblecake
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: Australia

14 Aug 2012, 3:35 am

I think my eye contact is normal, well at no one has said anything about it for years. Basically I continually glance at their eyes, although it's never felt natural for me and if I don't think about it I forget to give eye contact.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 157 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,777
Location: USA

14 Aug 2012, 3:37 am

treblecake wrote:
I think my eye contact is normal, well at no one has said anything about it for years. Basically I continually glance at their eyes, although it's never felt natural for me and if I don't think about it I forget to give eye contact.


Constant eye contact is not natural. It's said that if eye contact last for more than five seconds either a kiss or a fight will break out.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


Rattus
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 195
Location: UK

14 Aug 2012, 8:37 am

It's incredibly rare I make actual eye contact because it scares me a lot. So when I am talking to someone I look below their eyes. When I'm listening I normally blur my eyes because it's very hard to look and listen at the same time.



UnLoser
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 655

14 Aug 2012, 1:01 pm

Here's the guidelines I follow:

Make eye contact 50-75% of the time when talking to someone.
Make slightly more eye contact if you know them well, and slightly less if you don't.
Don't make steady eye contact for more than 10 seconds(glance away briefly).
When not making eye contact, glance around casually, and try not to look too far away from the person you're talking to.



chiastic_slide
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 206

14 Aug 2012, 4:00 pm

A fleeting glance is about all I can handle then my eyes dart away.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,387
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

14 Aug 2012, 5:32 pm

That's what I've been wanting to know. I don't want to look uninterested but I don't want it to look artificial, either.


_________________
The Family Enigma


mmcool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 962
Location: England

14 Aug 2012, 6:52 pm

I usely good at eye contact but I sometimes to make eye contact when I'm thinking :|



mmcool
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 962
Location: England

14 Aug 2012, 6:52 pm

I usely good at eye contact but I sometimes to make eye contact when I'm thinking :|