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Uhura
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20 Sep 2009, 7:37 pm

Do any of you have problems with people calling you things like that? I'm ok with my parents calling me that but people who work in stores, restaurants, etc....It's like they are trying to get into my life and I want to scream something like 'Don't call anyone that unless they are your family and very young'.

I even heard someone at the store calling my mom 'dear' once and she's an NT. Is hating those terms an Aspie trait? Or do NT's and Aspies both have it? Didn't bother my mom, I don't think.



richardbenson
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20 Sep 2009, 7:43 pm

i dont really know since nobodys ever really called me hun or sweetheart because i dont have a significant other


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Uhura
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20 Sep 2009, 7:46 pm

I don't either and am fine with that. But even when I'm shopping the person hands me change and says something like 'Here you go, hon." Or things and places like that. Complete strangers think they can use that and I shouldn't care. I'm 36 but going by age and personality I'm probably early 20s or something.



CanadianRose
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20 Sep 2009, 7:56 pm

I don't think that liking, tolerating or disliking these terms is a NT thing or Aspie/Autistic thing per se. I know many NT"s who don't like these terms used by strangers and many who are neutral and many who like them and use them as well.

I might have mild Autism. I have no problem with strangers, store clerks, etc saying "dear" "hon" etc. As long as they are using natural language and not condescendng "sing song" voice - I am quite okay with it. It certainly beats having someone call me a "b*tch" :lol:



gramirez
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20 Sep 2009, 7:57 pm

Ive been called that a few times (rarely) by waitresses. Honestly, who cares? I see it as someone being kind.


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southwestforests
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20 Sep 2009, 8:04 pm

Wonder how much of it might be an age and/or cultural or regional thing?


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grinningcat
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20 Sep 2009, 8:31 pm

southwestforests wrote:
Wonder how much of it might be an age and/or cultural or regional thing?


Exactly what I was thinking - I know in Eastern Canada these little terms of endearment are common. I usually know when someone is from Newfoundland or Nova Scotia, etc., when I get called honey, sweetie, sweetheart, dear, etc. I have had younger than me clerks call me sweetie and guessed rightly that they were from the East Coast. It is not said in a manner that would indicate condescension, they said it like anyone would say "miss" or "madame" - I actually like any of the above to "madame", I have to say. :D

I had one history teacher who used to call me "dearheart" - he said it in the sweetest British accent, and it just always made me feel extremely happy. Just a couple of days ago, one of my bosses called me "sweetie" (although he probably shouldn't do that, given what that could have been taken as, but it was sweet the way he said it) - both men said these little pet names as they might speak to their grandchild, and again, it just made me grin happily.

I have, on the other hand, had people call me "sweetie" and I wanted to belt them right in the mouth for it, because of how they said it. I also got into trouble once calling someone "lovey" at work. Granted, what I really wanted to call her - "controlling bit*ch queen" - I managed to stop myself from saying in time, but the appellation was said in the same angry tone so it came out the same. Don't ask me why I went with "lovey", though, LOL! Just one of those odd words jumping into the gap, I suppose...

A funny side note - my parents toyed with the thought of calling me "Honey". Now, that would have set up some comedy in my life, for sure... :lol:


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CelticGoddess
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20 Sep 2009, 8:40 pm

I don't think it's an NT/AS thing. I think it's personal preference. I don't mind it if older people call me that. But it irks me to no end if someone younger than me (waitress/cashier/salesperson etc) calls me hun, dear, sweetheart etc. There's a store that I shop at and one of the women there who is my age calls me dear and it drives me batty. I avoid her like the plague every time I go in there.



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20 Sep 2009, 9:11 pm

I live in a part of the UK where bus drivers and shop assistants call customers 'love' or 'lover' (regardless of age, gender, etc). I just accept it as cultural. It doesn't mean anything. Other parts of the UK, people call people 'dear' or 'darling'. 'Hon' and 'sweetie' are more North American. I observe online that sometimes people use 'hon' in a patronising way, when they are arguing with someone and want to put them down subtly. It annoys me then. I don't tend to use such terms myself.



cosmiccat
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20 Sep 2009, 9:46 pm

It doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I like it a lot. However, oddly enough, I only use terms like these on my family members or very young people and children. I wouldn't use them on strangers or people I do business with or don't know well. So that's kind of strange.



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20 Sep 2009, 9:52 pm

I don't like it. It makes me feel strange.



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20 Sep 2009, 10:05 pm

I don't mind it unless it's so often that it seems to be replacing my name.

I cannot force myself to say it back, though. It's like...

him saying it: Hey hon, can you get me a soda?

me saying the same thing: Hey... you. Can you get me a soda?

lol, I just can't do it... it feels very awkward and weird.


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zombiecide
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20 Sep 2009, 10:08 pm

EEW. EEW. EEW.
I however use insults in an endearing way.



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21 Sep 2009, 12:29 am

It's more a cultural thing, I think. Here in Texas, it's very common to call perfect strangers by endearments. It's something even I picked up while I was growing up. People who come in from other areas, though, sometimes take offense or make fun of someone who's really just trying to be warm and friendly. It's also not appropriate in the office, so I've had to train myself out of it.



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21 Sep 2009, 3:11 am

In the north of England it is common for people (women mostly) to call strangers 'luv'.



TheDoctor82
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21 Sep 2009, 3:35 am

I do it, but certain expressions I do sort of jokingly--and even my gal knows it--basically because she loves the nicknames, but I think they sound beyond idiotic.