How do you bring yourself to do certain things

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I wasn't exactly too sure where to post this topic, so this was my best bet...

Lets say you have an aversion to doing certain everyday tasks, like for me, a big one is making phone calls. I'm completely freaked out by the phone and making phone calls unless its to/from someone with whom I am extremely comfortable. As a kid when the phone would ring I would completely freak and run, grab it, put it in a bunch of blankets and stick it under a couch cushion or something similar, then run and hide under my blankets. I just couldn't handle it.
I don't get quite that bad when the phone rings now, but I have had some pretty awful meltdowns in regards to making phone calls. I've cried so hard about having to make a phone call that I've burst capillaries, and I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do something so simple and I feel the compulsion to hit myself and have left bruises more than once. I'm not sure If it happens as a punishment to myself for not being able to do things I want to be able to do, or if its only to relieve the extreme pressure I feel during these times, or both. But it happens.
My husband is very frustrated with me, because at 22 I've never worked (I do babysit at home during the week, so I'm doing something... But this only came about because of his coworker needing a babysitter. Not because I went out and looked for it) and he's very upset that I seem to not have any goals, or even have desires to do things that most people would want to do.
He's basically saying I need to at least try or in the future I'm going to lose him. Which upsets me greatly because I'm not NOT doing things to be a brat, they're genuinely difficult for me.
It sucks because I can't seem to make him understand that its not just frustrating for me, its so incredibly frustrating for myself as well. I don't want to not be able to do basic everyday tasks.

Sometimes after a few hours of crying and freaking out, I'll make the original phone call... Or sometimes I unfortunately ask my mom to make the call for me, or I just won't do anything and cry all day about how I should have been able and I just can't figure out why I CAN'T.
This happens with a bunch of other things, about which I'm not going to get into at the moment because this entry is already so long...

Basically, I'm wondering how you cope with doing the things you have a lot of difficulty with?

Right now he wants me to call the insurance company to get the address, so we can mail our marriage certificate in, so I can get on his insurance and go to a psychiatrist like I've so needed for so long... But I'm having such a hard time getting to the phone and dialing.
I already write down what I'm going to say when they answer, but it only helps slightly.
I've already put it off for a few weeks and he lost his patience a bit today and told me how frustrated he was that I've had the number sitting there and still haven't called.

Anyway, sorry this is so long.

I make to-do lists. I sometimes stare at my to-do list for days. And every once in a while I end up completing a task or two and cross them off the list. It is a perpetual process.

Yes I HATE the phone and I procrastinate when I must call someone.

I have that same problem with all kinds of things when I do not already know how the call or visit (like with a doctor) is going to go ... and sometimes I almost beg people to make the call for me.

If you do not have a friend willing to make the call to the insurance company for you, send me a PM with the phone number and I will PM the address back to you ... and then you can mail the marriage certificate and be at least that much closer to getting the appointment you need, eh?!

I sneak up on myself to do it. I don't think about doing the dishes and just run the water and put in the dishes 'just to soak' I tell myself, but then I am half done before I think about it and pretty soon the kitchen is put to rights.

In the morning I have my goblet of fire (coffee latte) and go in and just turn on the water in the shower. I am just going to turn it on, I tell myself . . . and then I take off what ever I have on and jump in wetting my face first (shudder) once I get it wet, it's ok, but getting it wet is . . IDK, just something about my face is like a cat, I guess.

I spend 7.75 hours a day, 38.75 hours a wee talking on the phone. I don't own a home phone or a cell - I detest the phone and have no sense of talking to anyone if I can't hear my own voice through the headset.. I tell myself it is a call in show and I am a Medicare expert . . It doesn't really matter any more, I just phone it in. . .

I don't like a lot of life, actually.
Maybe if I had a different one, but no matter where I go, there I am.

I feel ya on this one... Right now I have a broken stove in the middle of my kitchen (it's been there a month) because I just don't call the people who will come pick it up. It's like an extra counter top to me now... not good... I know this... But I just don't make that phone call... I hate the telephone... it freaks me out. I know things like this bother my husband. We have had arguments about the things that I just cannot seem to do.

As bad as the stove thing is, I have managed to make progress in other aspects of my life by doing what Dilbert mentioned... the to-do list. I break down my day into hour long segments. One hour I will...say... dust (I have weird ocd issues, so dusting used to take me something stupid like five hours), then the next hour I will 'reward' myself and do something like make bracelets. I manage to stick to mine, as long as I manage to make the list. I seem to do best if I sit on Sunday and plot out my whole week. I can handle things much better if they are not sprung on me in the morning, or even the night before...

What I do when I talk on the phone is stare at a picture of someone I like and pretend I am talking to them.

When I was 3 my mum was on the phone and I pressed the hang up button. I got a belting after that. I was so scared to answer the phone until my late teens. I still hate answering the phone because it's hardly ever for me, but I just think it'll be over in a few minutes so I reluctantly pick it up.

It takes me a long time to do things. If I want to write a long essay or clean I have a coffee and after I usually can get things done.

For me, making those phone calls is very difficult and I have a tendency to put them off. I think it's because I don't want to tell the person on the other end the truth which is I don't understand some things that others find basic. I think it's mostly lack of experience since I only engage in the world on a limited level. It makes me feel vulnerable to admit that but sometimes it's the only way I can do it so the other person will make sure to cover the basics.

[quote="sinsboldly"]I sneak up on myself to do it. I don't think about doing the dishes and just run the water and put in the dishes 'just to soak' I tell myself, but then I am half done before I think about it and pretty soon the kitchen is put to rights.

I do this one, too.

Hey, thanks guys, I am in the process of trying to figure out how I can function properly (yes, it's still a bit sticky at the moment, literally and figuratively - sneaking up doesn't work for everything and I've still got some complex issues that I would like diagnostic/professional help with, having just really found out a lot more about AS this year).

I seem to have underlying OCD or something similar, where I get carried away with household tasks and this in turn means they take so much effort and become so intense that they are hard to do again the next time
Sometimes i can get over it, other times i just can't.

So, hearing these strategies is great. I've always hated schedules , but that idea of time limiting and sticking to my own special sched that I make up sounds like it could work. The rest of my life is fairly efficient, so .. here's hoping

I can't say I have a solution for this, but I certainly identify with the problem. Weird thing is, I've worked for years in jobs where I had to answer the phone and interact with strangers constantly and that didn't bother me.


Calling a stranger to ask for help or information, however, can cause a total panic attack.

Oddly, there are moments - 'windows of opportunity' - during which my self-confidence is stable and I can do it with no problem. But if I miss that window, it may be days before I can gather the wherewithal to try it again. I have no idea what the key is to mastering that rhythm.

The thought of making phone calls has always caused me a great deal of anxiety. Strangely enough, I don't have a problem actually talking on the phone, and only a slight aversion to receiving phone calls.

But for as long as I can remember, anytime I've either needed or wanted to make a phone call - I've obsessed about it for hours, before I can force myself to actually make the call. I especially have trouble calling friends & family - for some reason, calling complete strangers presents much less of a problem.

It's much better if I can contact the person first, to let them know when I will be calling - that puts it on a schedule - so now it's something I HAVE to do. (E-mail is great for that - and if I can get away with it, I will e-mail rather than call.) My main issue seems to be that I don't know what the person on the other end might be doing at the time - the closer I am to the person, the more it bothers me that I might be imposing on them by calling.

With strangers, it's a bit different. I don't care if I interrupt them. So I just have to schedule myself - I decide to call "xyz office" at 9 a.m. & then I call (at exactly the time I put on my schedule - if I can't get through at that time, it really complicates things for me.)

I hate answering the door, but I will if it's for a delivery of books from Amazon. The excitement of having new books significantly outweighs the stress of answering the door.

I have this problem too. I have no problems calling/talking to friends on the phone (even if I prefer IM) but when it comes to calling dentists or things like that. I usually put it off for days/weeks. Usually when I manage to do one phone call I realize that it wasn't so bad so I end up doing all the ones that I was delaying. It's kind of the same thing with doing things like cleaning. I will put if off for a long time and eventually when I start I tell myself its not so bad and just clean everything at once.

Thank you for the replies, everyone. I'll definitely try the to-do list and see if it helps with anything.