Perfectionism and ASD

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I don't think I've ever met other autistics who weren't perfectionists in some way. I've always been a perfectionist when it came to my work (academic work, chores, etc). For example, I did an exam in college a few weeks ago and got a very high pass, but I wasn't completely satisfied with it. My tutors tell me that my work is going along quite well, but I can't really "see the forest for the trees" and I don't feel as if I've really put as much effort and care into it as I could have.

I've always been a competitive person and I really hate losing. I remember overreacting because I felt like it was my fault that my team in PE lost a football game and I started crying even though I'm usually very stoic and hate to express emotions in public. I'm one of these people that write lists but never complete them and then as soon as they notice a mistake or a barrier in their work, they cannot continue working and start panicking and feeling complete despair for not getting it completely right. I'm usually very critical of myself and others and my family tells me that I have a nack for finding flaws in everything, heheh.

Long story short, I'm a textbook example of a perfectionist and it seems that I've always been this way. This is neither a good thing or a bad thing, though apparently, perfectionism is linked to autism. That's not to say that everyone who is a perfectionist is autistic.

So, I guess what I should be asking is is there anyone on the autism spectrum who ISN'T a perfectionist? Also, if you are a perfectionist, maybe you could talk about how this affects you. If you aren't a perfectionist, perhaps you could express your frustration at perfectionists driving you crazy

Oh, by the way- I've been editing and re-writing this message for ages, heheh! No doubt, there's probably loads of errors still there. I never was very linguistically intelligent...

I used to have this in spades but as of recent Ive toned it down some. (Some.) Its still disheartening to get things wrong but I can handle it better then before. (Better.)

I am not a perfectionist I guess. My typing sucks and I am allergic to spell checkers (although I do spot spelling errors in othe rpeople's work all the time ). My academics were very good but it wasn't because I wanted to ace all courses but becaus if I didn't study, I'd fail and if I did study, I'd get a very high grade, because I memorized the material when reading it once. Because of my high grades my parents use to say I wasn't satisfied with less than perfection, but in reality I don't know how to "study for a C" or so.

By the way, I wonder, can you be a perfectionist without alwasy having excellent everythign? Like, my boyfriend seems quite perfectionistic to me, but I am not sure what is perfectionism or whether he is legitimately worried, sinc ehe isn't a straight A student (and he wants to be in a top grad program in a few years so in a way his wanting to have veyr high grades makes sense).

I am a perfectionist but I am by no means perfect. When your goal is unattainable you might as well not start. This is my major problem in life. I know it doesn't make sense, but there you go.

...but the one thing I can do perfectly, is kill a thread.

I am a perfectionist...or perhaps I'd call it being obsessive-compulsive. My papers have to be neat, unwrinkled (many people crease the corners to upset me), and clean. Things like that...

"Perfectionism" sounds like some kind of abnormality.
I have always been that way that other people call me what has always been is the normal thing since there has been nothing else.

This is something I have always struggled with. If my school work is not perfect, then there is something wrong with it (unless it is 100% there is room for improvement).

Sometimes when I know something will not be able to be perfect I do a really half-assed job, so that when it is not perfect I can blame it on my lack of effort. This is a problem at work...I think I'm not nearly as productive as I should be because I spend way too much time checking my work.

Generally also I 'm very scared of making mistakes and don't want to start something I don't know much about out of fear I will do a very bad job.

I used to go mental at myself for stupid little things. Still find it difficult to sit for any length of time as I need to get up and shut the door or open the window turn a light on, can't just leave it.
It's weird how the trait crosses over into different parts of life. The L&D forum is a good example, lots of people who won't even entertain the idea of a relationship unless they know it's going to work out perfect or the partner must meet very specific paramaters before anything can even begin to happen.

I remember I used to get asked this in interviews and would always say yes I'm a perfectionist. That was before I figured out the reason they ask, perfectionists make bad employees because they are never happy and never will be.

sometimes I am. With drawing i am and in certain areas.

Very much so about the things I'm passionate about. Otherwise, whatever.

For the most part, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to things I'm working on. I couldn't really care less if my workspace was slightly askew, though I admit having a preference for the layout when I can arrange it the way I want. I think perfectionism is one of several reasons why I decided not be a professional musician, at least in terms of performance. One thing I could never get right was the ability to play through mistakes; they always made me stumble, or caused me to stall.

It can be particularly frustrating academically. I remember getting upset because I managed to graduate with "only" a 3.8 GPA from my master's degree program. I would've had a 4.0, but I had some difficulty with one class during the last semester and ended up with a B instead of an A. I'm pretty much over it now, but it still makes me cringe a little when I think about it. I'm more accepting of lower grades now, but I would likely get extremely upset if I ever got below a 3.0 in any coursework.

It has its fun side, though. Recently at work I was tasked with a data analysis project. I completed the project as requested, but I realized there were other things that could be done to make it more functional and user-friendly, so I went ahead and did that. I showed it to the person who requested the project and told him essentially what I had come up with. He responded by comparing me to Doc Brown from "Back to the Future." "Here's a model of the town square. I apologize it's not to scale, but I didn't have much time to prepare [paraphrasing]."

I think my past "perfectionism" came from a fear of rejection in a world I could not comprehend, and I think I drove myself half nuts while insisting upon my getting there.

Today I seek a more relative excellence -- the best possible under whatever circumstances -- and I leave "perfection" to the more qualified lest I fool around and even miss excellence while thus confusing my grandchildren about what might actually even be attainable.

Perfectionism is destroying me, but I'm addicted to it.

I'm not good at taking my meds or developing other productive lifestyle routines because I can't do them perfectly 100% of the time so I shudder at the thought of even going there.

Give me a major very complicated project I love and I'll keep at it with nothing else getting done until it is. But I'll also absolutely kill it, looking for typos and a better way to phrase things even if it takes me more than a decade to decide I'm not going to get it done. (I started writing a book in 1999 and I'm still working on it, but not even close to finished.)

I have destroyed a lot of friendships trying to be perfectly normal. Now I'm trying to honor being perfectly odd and I'm having much better luck at that one. Even if it turns out I only make friends with myself, I'll have one more friend who will stick around than I've ever had before.

i am a perfectionist sometimes