"Why don't you go live with x internet friend(s)"?

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Ever get this? I got this a couple times. Mom made what I consider to be a VERY STUPID suggestion. I was talking online with a buddy of mine who lives diagonally all the way across the continent from me. I'd only known this person online for like a few months, though now I've known them for 9 years. Mom said to me, "Why don't you go live with one of your buddies on the internet?"

*headdesk*

wow. I would never say something like that to my son, and he is pretty absorbed in online life. those online "friends" aren't friends. I tell him that his online girlfriends are fat 40 year old ex-con bikers with a big beard, which he hates, but he should consider the possibility that I'm right.

(no offense meant to anyone who might fit into one of those categories.)

and I do believe you can eventually become real friends via online communication, but it takes a long time.

I agree that it takes a LONG time to actually become a real friend to someone online. I don't believe you can ever really 'know' someone as well as someone you know IRL because online people can say anything and if you can't check their stories, you'd never know.

exactly.

Nah, I wouldn't get that since I tend to keep my online life secret. However, I would like to know why people ask such questions.

I can't remember if my mother ever said stuff like that to me (a lot of my childhood is still blocked out) but to me it seems like a really passive-aggressive way of saying "you don't appreciate me enough" or "you don't give me enough attention and I'm jealous".

there's a family member of mine who does something similar who whenever I make a decision she doesn't like will say "do what you want, you always do" or "you make things harder on yourself than they need to be". I think saying things like that is a passive-aggressive game of some sort, and I'm supposed to be able to figure out what the real meaning is. so far all I can think of is that she's just mad that I don't do what she thinks I should because for some reason she thinks I should make the same decisions she would.

At times she's threatened to kick me out. Perhaps after getting a job I can have the money to get my own place perhaps on section 8 housing. (#1 thing I'd want a dog/cat so I wouldn't be alone LOL!)

Yeah Bhetti is right, she just wants you to talk to her since she's in the same house and all did you ever wonder why she finds it hard to live with you? It's going to be a bit of a shock but we're hard to live with, damn hard. I know it's not easy but you need to make at least some concessions. You can bet your mum has put herself out many many times in her life to accomidate you. Forget about the way she's letting you know as she literally can't help it, just like you can't help doing what she doesn't like. Never mention their passive aggressive tendancies to them by the way as they inevitably take it as an insult.

So my advice is to deliberately set aside time to talk to your mother or more accurately let her talk to you cos that's the way it always gos Just shut down the computer, face in her direction and ask her how she's doing. It's really really hard to make yourself do but once it's done you only need to nod and go 'uh-huh' 'oh right' 'really?' 'yeah, you're right' 'I know' and a few other stock phrases like that. Don't venture your opinion unless asked. Be aware that she'll probably say something sarcastic/passive aggressive when you try yo get her talking but just let it wash over you, ignore it and carry on. She'll do the rest and she'll be really happy that you made the effort and that'll make you feel better too which in the long run is what it's all about

My mom's problem is she thinks I do not give her respect. Well how can she expect overt respect if she doesn't treat me with respect?

She thinks that if I live somewhere else, that she won't have to see my 'mess' (lol what mess, sure I have a lot of things in my room but it is by no means messy or dirty). She is OCD about cleaning. And she's always trying to convince me that I should take some snake oil cure for whatever.

I have been told this by my ex about one of my online friends from Idaho. "Go live with him."

Sounds like your mom wants you out of her house.

I met Kris online.. We were talking online for close to a year before I moved down here with him.
He's one of the easiest people to live with I've ever met, he doesn't get upset or annoyed easily at all, but he has this inhuman patience for when I get upset. Nothing seems to phase him. His ex was really nasty, so apparently no matter how bitchy I might think I'm being if I'm in a bad mood, it doesn't even register on his bitchiness scale. LOL

Of course, moving from PA to MD isn't exactly the same as moving across the continent.. I'm in southern Maryland, though, so it's not exactly close either..