Talking about others (when they aren't around)

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Is it just me that doesn't like talking about people? What I mean by talking “about” is discussing another person with others when they are not in the room. I suppose the term would be gossiping, although I really don't like that word and I tend to think gossiping more so as lies being spread and such.

I don't express my feelings about others when they aren't around for the most part or talk about what they have or have not done.

I mean, I may say something along the lines of “I wish he'd call more” or “She went to the store” but I don't go on about them or even go into that much detail. I don't discuss them with others really.

If someone is really bothering me, I may talk to someone about them, but usually only if someone asks and it is to help me vent.

The thing is, everyone else seems to get their kicks off of it Or maybe kicks is a bad word, I just see it happen so much. People seem to enjoy talking about others and they seem to do it often. Rather it be family discussing family, of friends discussing friends, it doesn't seem to matter if the person is your mother, daughter, postman, friend or whatever.

Is it just the people I hang around with maybe?

No, I think most people enjoy discussing others behind their back, it's human nature. I actually love to hear other people's opinions about other people and compare them to mine.
You are a good person that you don't take part. It is kind of rude. But very common.

I do admit to listening to others if they talk about someone close to me, I just don't jump in or contribute anything, nor do I even talk about what I say to anyone. Just stays locked up in my mind.

i enjoy gossip. . but i'm hardly ever mean about it. really its just discussing the person and seeing other people's opinions about them. i think people would really respect that you dont gossip.

I talk about people but that is how I express myself and get it out of my system to feel better when they have upset me. I think that's why others do it too. If it bothers the person so much, just try and talk to the person about it to resolve their issue and not play the victim by getting all upset when someone had said bad things behind their back.

If I found out someone said bad things about me behind my back, I would want to know who it was so I can come up and talk to them to see what their issue is about me they have. But if it was all lies and stories, then I would be upset but if it was just feelings and perspective like "Beth was mean to me" "Beth bullied me" Beth told lies about me" "Beth's a b***h" I would confront them about it to see what was up. But sadly people have refused to tell me whom it was as if they think I would go up to that person and attack him or her and the person doesn't want any trouble for the other person and then that person is mad at that person for telling me. I honestly don't understand why someone would want to play the victim in this just because someone said negative things about them. It just tells me how stupid they are and jerks so yeah I wouldn't care if I upset them. f**k them.

Aside from discussing sports, talking about others behind their backs is all my coworkers seem to do. What I find really odd is that they seem(ed) to make fun of one person more than anybody else, yet he rarely said anything negative about anybody. If he did, it was usually to their face and in the "good-natured ribbing" manner that seems to be popular among human males.

It is a very negative environment and is part of the reason I rarely speak at work.

Thank God for gossip. I miss it very much because in South America it's our sport no. 1 - criticizing the person who is not present. It's fun, full of spice, relaxing, cathartic, and I learn lots about ToM and about things in general. I don't mind people gossipping about me either. But for me there's a firm distinction between gossip and badmouthing. Gossip is when you enjoy criticizing because you find something interesting/funny/ridiculous/illogical/arguable about someone. Badmouthing is when you have a hidden agenda to hurt someone's reputation.

Eg:

A - What was that weird hat X was wearing yesterday at the party? LOL I had to bite my tongue not to laugh!

B - I'm sorry to tell you, but X has a mental illness. All the signs are there. That hat yesterday at the party just proves it once again.

I have been in the gossip circle, but rarely contribute. I don't mind listening. My bf and I gossip about his mom. She has some huge issues and she is very stressful to live with. We more or less complain to eachother about her. Him and my mom are the only two i talk to about her or anyone really.

I hate the kind of gossip where people talk about their friends behind their back. I just think 'what do they say about me when I'm not there?'

i think that as well.