Isolation

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I have noticed, here and there, people seeming to want to inextricably associate me with isolation. People slipping the word "isolation" into things to describe me, as if by default.

Such as when I went to my doctor about an anxiety problem, caused by something that has been scaring me, to get a letter back about how I am feeling "isolated" and scared by it. I didn't say, at any point, I was feeling isolated.

Or, take a creative writing group tonight where I wrote a poem. Word saved it by default as "I" (since "I" was the first word in it). The file name was renamed, by the group leader, as "Isolation". However I didn't intend it to be about isolation, as such.

Does anyone else get this? Does anyone else get these wee reminders about isolation?

Maybe it's just an isolated incident.

But yes, I get reminders every time I wake up or go to sleep. Positive side is at xmas time.

Probably projection on the part of certain NTs, to whom the word isolation is deemed to be as bad as a death sentence.

It's interesting that that word keeps on appearing in your life. It sounds like, whatever you are experiencing, other people are interpreting it as "isolation."

It reminds me of something that happened about 12 years ago. I was finishing up my university degree, as a "mature student". Of all the people on campus, there was only one who I actually had conversations with. He had been my linguistics professor a couple of terms back, and I sometimes ate lunch with him, because he was a pretty neat person to be around, and he seemed to enjoy my company. One day, I told him that my husband and I were expecting a baby. He said something like, "Oh, wow! What do the girls think?" I said, "What girls?" He said, "You know, the girls. Your circle of friends." Well, I had a good friend in Texas who I hadn't seen in about ten years, but other than that, there wasn't anyone. I had never had a "circle of friends" or even considered the possibility that such a thing exists. I basically told him that, and his jaw dropped to the ground, in utter astonishment. He said, in a mixture of awe and horror, "Extreme Social Isolation!! I've heard of such a thing, but I've never actually seen it!" I later found out that he didn't consider me a friend, but more of a curiosity. Even hanging around with someone who appeared to be fascinated by my life and who I could have interesting conversations with, still didn't count as "friendship". He had the overflowing circle of friends. I had "extreme social isolation."

That baffled me for years. Why is my existence the one that is strange and pathological? I've come to realize that that was only one way of seeing it. I've almost never feel lonely, or like I have some kind of defect, until someone comes along and points out that they have hundreds of friends in every corner of the globe and I have none, not even them. I'd be exhausted if I had people around me all the time. Even interesting, kind, wonderful people wear me out after a while. Being alone is how I recharge and become my most creative.


I think people who are extreme extroverts (like this guy I knew) have a hard time understand extreme introverts (like me). If I say that I'm not feeling so great AND I happen to spend most of my free time alone, then an extreme extrovert will probably conclude that I'm feeling bad because I am too isolated. An extreme introvert (like my mother) won't think that at all. She might even think I need more time alone, or a good knitting project.

I know what you mean! I was looking on line for articles about how to tell if a guy likes you. There was a plethora of things like, "Ten things to look for," and stuff like that. Each time, one of the lists included something like, "He talks to your friends about you." I was like, WTF? What friends? And why would he, if I had more than one friend? There was this assumption that everyone has this crowd of hive-minded people that they tell everything to, and allow them to dictate what they should do. BTW, I loved this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Manifes ... 1569245134
Although the author doesn't think she is on the spectrum, she really showed a lot of our traits, in terms of socializing and having friends.

This reminds me of an eighties song I like, but I'm completely blanking on the band and the song title. There was a line that went, "They think we're lonely when we're really just alone." That's going to drive me nuts all night until I figure it out!

I read that book (well, most of it) last year and liked it. I think I may have to re-read it.