AS or just paranoid or something?

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Hi,

Recently it was suggested to me by a family member that I might have Aspergers Syndrome. After looking around on the internet I found some websites with the symptoms. Some of these symptoms were ones I can relate to but others completely missed the mark. After more searching I found blogs and youtube videos from people who actually have AS and unlike these websites what they have to say has really hit the mark and left me reflecting on my life. But some of what people have to say I cannot relate to at all, particularly the social aspects seem to be very different from my experience. I should mention that I have once or twice thought I had a disorder but have rejected the idea because no material I could find (until now) was anywhere near the mark.

Ok so I'm hoping to get some opinions and hopefully shed some light on this. I can give you the main points so you get the idea. But first I want to say I'm not trying to have an ego or anything like that. Also I'm not trying to start a debate

Basically for all of my life I have always been different from others, and in particular I have focused on intellectual things and learned about things that interested me all the time, even to the point of buying books just to persue it as an interest. I can spend hours at this, all my free time right up to 3-4am if I want. In my teens I played Chess constantly, I played for the local Chess team in my area, I played for the county Chess team, I even played Chess at school when it was possible, sometimes I won some money at competitions. From my perspective I have always thought that I just had a passion about things that I'm interested in. I have always considered myself shy and felt that maybe I lacked confidence because I do not seem to make friends easily.

Just before I became 20 I got a job working for a large clothes store, and now that I was in contact with so many people every day and became more confident I started to think it was more than just being shy. I felt there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on about myself and that maybe there was something I just don't have that others do. I had friends at work, but only a few and most social interaction was done in the form of the usual monthly work gather ups in night clubs etc. Now I had confidence, yet I still didn't seem to be able to bridge that gap between having friends and having a good connection with them (like being able to go and play some xbox at their house or calling to arrange something fun). Some people have described me as withdrawn.

Mostly my communication skills are OK, I can talk to people, I don't interrupt them or respond to a greeting by immediately talking about my interests (some people on the net said those things were a problem sometimes) but I do like to talk about my interests where I can and have had to learn to be more "casual". I didn't have a problem developing speech as a child but I did have an issue with pronouncing 'R' as 'W' but when someone pointed it out it I worked on it and it was quickly not a problem anymore. I have terrible hand-writing and don't like talking to people on the phone (I can do it I just don't like it). I have sometimes said things that left people a little shocked or sometimes offended, I can even remember one time where a joke with a friend went really bad.

Ok so I could continue but I think you get the idea. The basic of it is that I fit AS / HFA quite closely but AS fits better than HFA. I also don't fit AS exactly but it's nearly every symptom. I am already planning to get a diagnosis once I have gathered some info to take to my Doctor. I mostly believe I have Aspergers but I also keep thinking that I'm paranoid or being a hypercondriac. I talked to a friend who does have Aspergers even and he thinks I probably do have Aspergers. But there are some things aspies have to say about the social aspects of AS that to me are a completely miss and it starts to seem like maybe my problems aren't as bad as that.

So if people are happy to shed some light on this I will be grateful and I have a few of questions..

Do people with AS / HFA sometimes not have as many symptoms from a specific "group" of symptoms? (like maybe, was that the case with you?)

Does it seem like I'm being paranoid about having AS / HFA? Or maybe I'm not paranoid at all?

Diagnosis can apparently take some time.. so obviously I cannot take advantage of any kind of support (if I even want that) in the short term. Is there something I should do in the meantime? Is there maybe a good book to read?

Thanks for reading

How much of the following statements apply to you?

An individual must meet criteria A, B, C and D:

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across contexts, not accounted for by general developmental delays, and manifest by all 3 of the following:

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated- verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body-language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.

3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities as manifested by at least two of the following:

1. Stereotyped or repetitive speech, motor movements, or use of objects; (such as simple motor stereotypies, echolalia, repetitive use of objects, or idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Excessive adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, or excessive resistance to change; (such as motoric rituals, insistence on same route or food, repetitive questioning or extreme distress at small changes).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus; (such as strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

4. Hyper-or hypo-reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects).

C. Symptoms must be present in early childhood (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities)

D. Symptoms together limit and impair everyday functioning