self absorbed...

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I find myself constantly thinking about myself. I don't want to, but I can't stop. All of my special interests are related to me in some way and when I'm thinking about them, I'm thinking about how they relate to myself. For example, I'm obsessed with autism and how it relates to me. I'm constantly thinking about how I'm autistic, not about autism in general. Is this common in ASDs?

I do it when I'm socializing too. I have to be constantly conscious about not using the word "I" too much. That's because people have told me I talk about myself too much. Even when I do manage to not talk about myself, I'm still thinking about myself. When someone talks about themself, I'm just anxious and find it really hard to listen. It makes me feel really selfish but then again, I know I don't want to be like that, I just can't stop. Any advice or similar situations?

You are not the only one. I still have to keep stopping myself from talking about myself and giving others a chance. I drive myself mad sometimes so I don't know how others feel about me lol.

Edit: crap I did it again
OK, advice, erm, what about if you find yourself talking about yourself say "what about you" and phrases like that. IDK I'm a crap advice giver sorry

really hate this don't understand why every sentence just comes with an 'I at the beginning or why it's so hard to stop doing. I just try and stop talking when I notice it. Usually don't notice it til I'm getting the look.

Questions never begin with 'I'.

When talking to people I'm always thinking about what to ask them so that I dont do the ''I'' thing too much
But when I'm on my own which is about 80% of the time I'm always thinking about myself and my obsessions etc.
I will admit and be honest that I'm a very selfish person

Noa x

I used to be like this, but not anymore.

I do this a lot, but now that I have a son, I often think about him now instead.

I'm starting to get a better picture of how my wierdness affects other peole and how to tone it down in social situations.

This doesn't help me avoid making every conversation about me. It just helps me to talk to myself in a state of silence and avoid soical situations.

I can relate to that. Er, is that comment self-absorbed? I'm not sure. I think part of the problem is not knowing what others are thinking, so instead you just think about yourself to keep a conversation going.

Your situation is very similar to mine dustin. Constantly thinking about aspergers & learning about it sometimes steer away people when I talk about it so I've stopped doing it. I notice when my Sister & mom use a word alot too. They don't know they have aspergers too but I can tell. My sis use the words "girl" & "stuff like that" alot. While my mom says "yea" , "right", "dog", & "uh huh" alot. I be thinking why is my life like this and why im I just noticing it now. I also get anxiety from talking to people because for one I don't say much and #2 I worry about making myself look stupid.

Here is what helped me avoid excessively talking about myself when I was in the professional world. Instead of concentrating on NOT talking about yourself (the dreaded "I"), concentrate on POSITIVE things you will do during conversations, such as smiling, being kind and interested in the views of others and letting them talk. For me, the results were much better with this approach than thinking about not talking about myself.

Also, when you catch yourself going on about yourself, or your views on something, don't act embarrassed or mortified. Merely smile and say something like "oh gosh, I'm rambling on…" and ask a question of others. People are more forgiving than they we sometimes imagine.

Yep, i do that too and i am obsessed with reading up and figuring this whole Asperger's thing out since i believe i do have it and my son is DX'd with it. I don't really talk much about myself in person cause i really don't talk to anyone that i am not 100% comfortable with. I do tend to talk about my kids a lot though. But online...i am always btdt with everything and i have been catching myself lately (or really noticing i do it) and start thinking people think i must be an idiot or something, always talking about myself or my kids. Always got to bring a btdt moment into every conversation. Why not just say congrats instead of saying, oh i did that too. I can't help it. I must say there's a lot of that here, so i feel more comfortable lol!

NTs don't know what others are thinking either. That's why they ask so many questions.

As for me, I tend to begin a conversation talking about something I've experienced, where others might ask questions about the other one's life. I've never been called self absorbed for that reason though.
On the other hand, it tires me when people ask me a lot of questions in a row about myself. Often I'll think: but don't they have anything to tell about themselves?, and wish that they would begin to talk about themselves without me having to ask them a lot of questions.
But I've got better to ask people, now when I think about to do it.

People tend to ask more questions of me than I ask of them.

I don't consider myself selfish in a way that I don't consider other people's feelings. I DO consider people's feelings and I don't like hurting people. I try my hardest to be courteous and sensitive to people I have no ill will towards. I like trying to act nice even when I feel somewhat indifferent toward someone.

Sadly I just don't find other people very interesting. I can only fake an interest in someone else's family or someone else's hobby/interest/career for so long. After a while it gets exhausting. It's so much easier conversing on topics I can relate to. That's why my conversations tend to center around things that interest me.

I am pretty self-absorbed, even when trying not to be. If someone is asking for advice, it's always "when I was in that situation this is what I did, but I can't tell you what to do".

I'm not really so sure it's a self-absorbed thing, or if it's just the fact that I have to draw up my own experiences to be able to relate to others, so it just makes me sound that way. I have told people before they ask me advice on things though, that I can help but only to some extent, as I have not tried everything possible, I just know what worked for me personally and what did not, and they can take it however they want after that.

I feel more self-absorbed, personally, when I am unable to give someone advice or suggestions due to simply not knowing or being unable to relate. That is when I start thinking "It would be nice to be able to help someone, but not have to experience everything they have in order to do so." It's like my life's in chapters and I'm my own personal reference book.

My boyfriend has given me a few suggestions... haven't really tried them much, as he's the only one I talk to and since he knows how I am, I have a hard time readjusting myself... But he has mentioned things like:

If I am chit chatting with someone, and I think of something new to talk about, or want to share an experience I've had, rather than to just blurt out "The other day I...." say "Have you ever done this?" then go on about the story, that way it makes the other person feel involved when talking.

Again, I haven't done it yet, and really am not sure how it would work out, because really when I say things, I don't really look for anyone's input particularly and that would kind of force me into conversation about things they want to talk about... but if I want to make friends I suppose I need to try somewhere... maybe eventually I'll actually want someone else's input and step outside of my comfort zone (talking about things I know about or can relate to), rather than just wanting to be the one dominating conversation.

I think I'm self-absorbed in part because I'm so isolated that I don't have anyone else to think about. I can get very interested in other people. But I'm so used to other people misunderstanding me and trying to control everything I do, I don't like to comment on what others tell me or offer advice because I'm good at misunderstanding and coming off wrong myself and I know how that feels.

Also the more I talk, the more I get in trouble for sharing inappropriately and the more I'm thinking I can kick off some of the control if I don't share everything. So now I'm walking this tightrope where I'm trying hard not to share and I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. But people are uncomfortable with the silence and push me to talk even if they're just as uncomfortable with what I share. If I can ony share what's appropriate, I've got no reference point for understanding what that means.

Seconded.