is rocking/swaying in your seat socially unacceptable?
CleverKitten
Veteran
Joined: 6 Apr 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 874
Location: Norfolk, Virginia, USA
I've gotten some wierd looks from rocking/swaying in my seat, so I suppose it is socially unacceptable.
But I don't see why it would bother anyone as long as I'm not making noise, obstucting anyone's view, or touching anyone.
I don't mind the wierd looks, though. I'm just being myself in a harmless way!
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racooneyes
Velociraptor
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 410
Location: blackeye, outer rim
same! i am always moving in some way or another. if i dont shift my legs they start to actually feel almost painful or "clogged"...
ive developed the habit of twitching my muscles, so it isnt very obvious. coming to think of it im twitching them like, several times a minute!
no ones ever given me wierd looks that im aware of.....i do remember my maths teacher being fed up with my repetitive movements and shifting when i was in a tiny class with him, though...
It's scary thinking of some people's reactions to these petty matters...like rocking, swaying, tapping. I took a class once and nervously chomped gum without even realizing I was doing it and another classmate gave me the darkest look all while she said mockingly, "Could you please stop smacking your gum". To me it was NBD but she looked like she wanted to at the least, physically harm me over it. Arg! I'll never fit in with people. Of course, I immediately threw the gum away but I was left feeling so weird after that...others in the class must have harbored bad opinions of me just because of that gum smacking...something I wasn't even aware I was doing while I worked...
That's why stimming can get you in a lot of trouble.
That's why stimming can get you in a lot of trouble.
i ahte when your never aware of it, then feel awful for being annoying.
smacking gum is an awful annoyance. at least you know not to do it now, though
I hardly ever chew gum anymore, anyway. I hate the idea of always looking like I'm chewing something. It's not because of the smacking. The way I see it is, people of all kinds and types do thousands of things that annoy others every single day, yet the ones that are okay to make huge issues out of: gum smacking, sighing, moving, are all things I happen to do. They do other things that are irritating, yet, it's disgruntling to ever complain to their face about what they do. Like, bad breath. So many people have it yet no one is supposed to say, "Your breath is so bad I get nauseated sitting next to you". So many times I have been in that situation, yet, I know if I say something about it, I will look like the rude, crass, mean troublemaker. It will just come back on me. So I say nothing or avoid the one with the bad breath. It's happened over and over.
Another thing I can't stand: snoring. I hate it! It makes me want tear something up when I hear it, yet, when I complain about it, I get treated like a horrible person, having the audacity to complain about something a sleeping person cannot possibly do anything about. Smacking is my version of snoring. Stimming is like snoring to me. I can't stop doing it. It's subconscious. Yet it's okay for people to complain about it and make a huge deal out of it.
acclue
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 29 Sep 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 48
Location: Mansfield University, Pennsylvania
I kinda ignore the 'sit still' rule, and I don't care who sees me. I often find myself sitting with my legs up to my chest, rocking back and forth, or simply just lying down in public places. One of the few things I've always been comfortable with is showing off unusual body language instead of hiding it, so I just kinda got used to doing whatever I wanted.
In private places, I get even more secure about it though. I like sitting at right angles with walls, with my legs going up in the air (I've fallen asleep like that before) or just sitting in the corner of my closet doing nothing because it's dark and quiet.
Normally, though, I'll just sit cross-legged as much as possible, and I appear to have gotten off track... anyway, I never really found it that socially uncomfortable to rock... maybe I just never noticed.
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Another thing I can't stand: snoring. I hate it! It makes me want tear something up when I hear it, yet, when I complain about it, I get treated like a horrible person, having the audacity to complain about something a sleeping person cannot possibly do anything about. Smacking is my version of snoring. Stimming is like snoring to me. I can't stop doing it. It's subconscious. Yet it's okay for people to complain about it and make a huge deal out of it.
i HATE snoring and bad breath as well. my dad has the worst snoring youve ever heard, and i have had to avoid travelling to numerous european countries because i simply cannot stand his snoring in the hotel. .
urgh! bad breath is awful. i have this best friend, for some reason she has death-breath. it makes me feel awful because im having these undeserved-on-her-part hateful feelings towards her. if she would just fix her darned breath. one time i accidentally actually blurted out "pew, your breath stinks!" it was embarassing and awful. at the same time, if someone pulled me aside and said my breath kind of stinks, i would feel greatful. it isnt unchangeable, so i simply dont take offense. i think taking offense at something like that is simple irrational and selfish. your sort of saying "i dont care if i offend you, im too lazy to change this little aspect for you, and i dont even want to hear about it"
sorry, i sort of ranted, there.
racooneyes
Velociraptor
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 410
Location: blackeye, outer rim
Eating with your mouth open (which makes the smacking noise) is considered pretty rude in western world at least. Sighing does have it's own connotations too (that your bored/unhappy with what's being said). These are just issues of politeness many NTs do the same thing and get asked not to. Many people can't help having bad breath (it happens from not eating for a for a few hours something to do with ketones) but you can chew with your mouth closed quite easily unless your nose is blocked, same with snoring.
The difference I can see is that what people have asked you is all voluntary (maybe not but for NTs that's how it is) but the stuff that bugs you (that you've listed).
I used to get annoyed by people fidgeting as well (which makes me think I haven't always done it) so I know why it annoys others. It was so weird when I noticed what I was doing and noticed everyone else being so still, they were being extremely tolerant of it. Some of the people I'd known for a long time but others were new to me so it must have freaked them out a bit.
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get all confused and then mix up the dates.
I don't eat with my mouth open, but, when I have chewed gum in the past, I have always chomped or "smacked" it because something about chomping it helps me deal with life and stress, yet, "chomping" gum like a pac man chomps pellets seems like an unforgiveable, unpardonable sin in the eyes and minds of the masses. To me, it's NBD and I have to suffer in silence, a lot of times, over things they do and say that are just as irritating to me as my chomping is to them.
There's so many double standards. That annoys me more than anything: the double standards. "Put up with my odorous breath, my noxious fumes, my snoring, my bad mouthing...on and on and on...BUT DON'T YOU DARE STOOP SO LOW AS TO SMACK THAT GUM OF YOURS!! ! or there will be hell to pay!" It drives me crazy.
racooneyes
Velociraptor
Joined: 23 Sep 2009
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 410
Location: blackeye, outer rim
You may not be eating it but it makes the same noise as if you were eating. I'm not saying it's a bad thing nor am i saying it to annoy you just trying to explain why people don't like it, sorry.
These aren't really double standards it's the same for everyone else too, you just don't see things as NTs do so if like anyone who's missing salient pieces of information you jump to the wrong conclusion. Again I'm not trying to annoy you here so please try not to take it that way
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read all the pamphlets and watch the tapes!
get all confused and then mix up the dates.
You may not be eating it but it makes the same noise as if you were eating. I'm not saying it's a bad thing nor am i saying it to annoy you just trying to explain why people don't like it, sorry.
These aren't really double standards it's the same for everyone else too, you just don't see things as NTs do so if like anyone who's missing salient pieces of information you jump to the wrong conclusion. Again I'm not trying to annoy you here so please try not to take it that way
I knoooow why some people don't like it. My issue isn't with them not liking it. Believe me, I could list a million things I don't like that others do if I wanted to devote a lot of time and energy to it...
It is a double standard...that's my point. Call someone out on their breath and they tell others you are rude, inconsiderate, crass, trying to start trouble, etc etc. Complain about snoring and you really look bad. They portray you as a heartless person making an issue out of something that people have no control over: what they do when they sleep. Well, I have no control over the gum chomping...unless I stop chewing gum, period. Would people stop sleeping just because their snoring annoys another. I have managed to stop chewing gum, but it's not because the smacking bothers people. It's because:
1. Gum gets old too quickly and I dislike the taste of old gum
2. I don't like the idea of looking like I'm always chewing.
But, as far as it bothering others, I have to put up with sooo many things that bother me...and I do put up with it silently because I know others either will not change, rationalize what they do, or simply cannot change it, it's involuntary (like snoring)...they can put up with something so trivial as gum chomping. It's just part of living with people. Everybody has to put up with stuff they don't like. Either that, or be a hermit somewhere.
What other choices are there?
Speaking of noisy eating, ice chomping and Doritos crunching annoy me, yet whenever anyone eats either one of those...it makes the same sounds. Really, you only have two choices: don't be around others when they are crunching ice or Doritos, or, go be a hermit somewhere without many people.