Do you believe this view?

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I noticed while going out alone yesterday part of my worry/being upset was A) safety B) people. I like people interaction and while me and my family have are differences there's a security shopping with family for some odd reason. I don't have friends or a boyfriend but IMO being alone just feels wrong and weird. I mention this to my parents and my dads view is the following.

"We are born alone and we die alone."

IMO I don't believe this in the slightest and look at things literally you/spouse die (fire,accident etc.) You DIDN'T Die ALONE! If YOU are TRULY alone (in your car,home etc.) and die than YES you DID die alone. I believe in trying to make friends and see the best in people how do you live alone (it's nice to have friends/relationship etc.) Being alone isn't a good thing IMO I hate how my family puts down friendships etc. (If you had that view everyone dieing alone then IMO that's wrong you IMO have to make friends/relationship to IMO function in life.)

What are your thoughts WP?

I've hear that phrase before; maybe he was just trying to reassure you; to remind you that being alone sometimes is natural and not to be feared. The counter-saying is 'no man is an island'.

I agree with you that human company is important- it is to me anyway, but everyone's different (your father also maybe takes it for granted now that he has a family).

To some extent, I agree with the phrase 'born alone, die alone'; I've seen some births where the baby is immediately whisked away and stuck in an incubator for the first hour of its life, and at the other end, even if you meet the love of your life, one of you is going to die first... but that said, there's a big gap in between birth and death and you don't have to be alone then.

I have heard that phrase too, but don't really know what it means. It indeed soudns rather strange to me, since you are not alone at birth (if no-one else, then your mother is there), and many people are not alone when they die, either. Maybe if he meant to say that hey being alone is natural sometimes, that is true, but I don't see how it would be reassuring me if I were scared.

the point of that saying is that there is nothing wrong with being alone sometimes. at least i think that is what the point is.

I used to have feelings of loneliness like this. I spent years worrying about my inability to relate to other people and how everyone I tried to socialise with gave me a wide berth. Those rejections hurt, but once I learned to rely on myself and take other people with a grain of salt, I felt much happier.

When we're being born, nobody else can go through that experience for us. Therefore, in a certain sense, we are "born alone," even though obviously our mothers are with us, and suffering in their own way.

When we die, even if we're surrounded by others, we're alone. My mother in law and I were with my husband when he died, and though we were holding his hand, he had to go by himself.

But I must admit, having seen my fair share of death, I'm not convinced that we truly die alone. I saw the look of recognition on my husband's face when he took his last breath, and I don't believe that he was alone when he slipped out of his skin.

Well, it's unfortunate that your family seems to actively discourage friendships, if that is the case. Having a pessimistic view of our ultimate fate shouldn't preclude us from at least trying to be happy with other people while we're here.

Your dad's statement reminded me of the famous line "No man is an island..."
Expanded upon by its author, the early 17th-century English poet John Donne:

"No man is an island, entire of itself... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

See what your dad thinks of that

There's a book called Loneliness (I can't recall the author's name). The author is a research psychologist who specializes in researching the effects of loneliness and isolation. The book describes the author's research into loneliness for the past 30+ years. It was very interesting to read. He theorizes that the sense of loneliness we feel is actually an evolutionary survival mechanism. He said prolonged loneliness can have some very profound physical effects, even impacting gene coding.

Thanks for the different views. I never heard the man and island thing before. It's hard to be happy with myself. It's sad since people just look at are faults for example in College I could get a paper done within days (Did one over 2 week holiday vacation) and yet it's the social issues that are looked upon saying/doing the wrong thing. and I can be such a better student than say "joe" who socializes to the point of partying/drinking/skipping homework etc. Atleast I GET the work done!

I am not sure we are born alone. As for the experience of dying, there is no witnessing of the experience of being born. About dying: I would prefer dying alone rather that having around people who doesn't really love you, as it happens in most cases. See Wit, the movie bi Mike Nichols.

I like being alone or with family the best. I was raised in a dysfunctional environment and because of this it's hard to trust people. I think what will they be like and then I think they will just end up harrassing me and treating me just as bad as everyone else so I don't bother getting to know them based on that. Most people I have met I realize I would be better off never meeting at all.
I'd rather be with family above all else. Alone is better than being with abusive people. I will not tolerate abuse from others and if they continually act this way toward me I have no problem whatsoever breaking ties with them. I never understood why people tolerate abusive bfs, gfs, friendships, etc. I would never put up with it.

I'll go one step further; I think we live alone too. The only things we ever perceive, the only information we ever get, is information that's coming in through our senses. The sensory data that says somebody else is there is experienced, truly, only in our own minds. You can be surrounded by fifty thousand people, and all you'll ever experience is the activity going on in your own brain.

That is part of why I think people are little universes.

I think the phrase is true. "We are born alone and we die alone." An interesting thing I just noticed while typing that phrase is that the pronouns are plural. "We" are born alone. "We" die alone. Interesting choice... From a purely grammatical nature, the sentence is paradoxical. Paradoxes make for the best philosophical rambling, don't they?

Anyway, I have a reason for believing it. From the birth point of view, all our memories stretching into the past are based on our perspective. Many of them probably have other people involved, but, being solely from our perspective, they are inherently "lonely". From the perspective of death, it is rather unlikely that our own demise will occur coincidentally with a loved one's, provided all things are allowed to proceed to their natural end. Thus, while others may be present during our final days, we are the ones to die. Thus, we are alone in death.

Now, that being said, I don't think it's an entirely depressing thought. In between the two, we are free to experience whatever experiences (way to use the same word twice in the same sentence, dude!) we so desire, and to share our experiences with other people. Human experience is not defined by the end points of its existence. It is defined by the path it took between the two. I can only hope that my path is more interesting than a "straight line".

I dunno... I guess that I see it that no one is born 'with' you, and no goes through the experience of death 'with' you... those are experiences that are undergone alone. There may be company, but they can't travel the path with you.


M.

I like being alone...but after a while it can get depressing. I actually find myself lately wishing I had more of a tolerance for being alone, because when I'm around people I just get so stressed out. It's like I crave the stress or something. I'll be alone and everything will be perfect but after a while (a long while), I'll start to crave company. Then when I'm around company, I can't wait to be alone again. I'm living alone for the first time in my life right now (without a roomate) and I love it. I just wish I could feel as relaxed around other people as I am by myself. I think that's how NT's are.