Advice maybe? I would like someones POV

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I really do not know what to label the subject so instead, I just said that which may not have anything to do with this post at all. But, I need to get something off my mind, though right now its not all that on my mind but I have been meaning to make a post about it. I know that doesn't make sense, okay.. well enough explanation on that.

I am in school currently, I go to a community college and I hate going to school a lot of the time because there are so many people here and I get easily aggitated by things. When the teacher is late, when students blare their music through their speakers and I can hear it down the table from them (it aggitates me so much that I end up pulling at my hair, or biting myself and it really is hard for me to concentrate and I have tried using my music to try and drown out the sound, but I am very sensitive to hearing so if it gets to loud it hurts my ears badly. . and I can still hear the other person's music which only makes me even angrier. When teachers are late, they get behind on schedule and on top of that they have to switch everything around for homework (which sometimes is good, but sometimes bad.. cause then I forget to do it.) and change tests days which then I have to go and change my test thing at the disability center and they are starting to think I am bad with my scehduling when it isn't my fault. -_-. I am okay with music, and not so good at science and I am tired of people expecting me to be a genius because I'm not. Farthest thing from it.

I also hate school in the sense that there are grades, I have never in my life gotten straight A's and B's, I am very lucky to get a C. I have worked a lot harder than a lot of people in my classes, yet they do better than me and all I hear them say is "I did not study," and they talk about the party they went to. It makes me very angry that I am trying very hard, and still having poor grades in return. My mom says I'm lazy, though she see's me studying and doing my homework all the time. I mean granted I'm told that I'm a rarity in college cause I'm a moderate-high functioning Autistic but I know a few HFA people in college along with AS people, and they are really smart. Which leads me to my next grr issue, people steroetype people on the spectrum enough to the point to where people tell me I could not possibly be onthe spectrum despite the fact that I stand out like a soar thumb, the fact that I am so socially awkard and my insane sensory issues.. they say I have to be amazingly gifted in Math, Science and sometimes music. and because I have poor grades in both Math and Science I should be taken off the spectrum. Clearly, they aren't aware that I have four learning disablities, one that strongly effects my ability in math. :/

And it brings me to my next semi-dilema (sp, I can't spell well either.. I do apologize.) I don't have a lot of friends, which is common but with me I just seemingly can't make them and there is a part of me that wants friends (only like one or two friends, or three.. cause that's really I can handle emotionally/physically/psychologically.) but I don't nkow how to make them, people slightly scare me with their loud and excitedness cause I can't handle that and I don't like to go to parties. I think it would be fun to have a few friends to just take walks with and go to late night movies (I avoid heavily packed movie theaters cause I get into sensory overload and I dont do well.) I don't like going out to places that I know will be crowded cause I know I won't handle it well. I know a lot of people say with people who have Autism, compared to AS do not like to have friends, or are more "inside themselves" or are close to "one person only" and I only want a few friends.. just to chat with online, or texts (I hate phones, I have a hard time hearing what people are saying and don't nkow when I am allowed to talk..) I'm a contradiction in the sense that I want friends, but I don't want them at the same time.

I have been biting myself a lot lately, and have a lot of marks on my hands but some of them disappear after a few hours cause I don't bite that hard, it's more of a scrapping bite.. or I'll suck on my fingers. I have also gone back to picking relentlessly at my face and have scabs all over my face. I've been really stressed out lately I think, though sometimes I have a hard time identifying my emotions.

That whole 'you must be genius at math to have autism' is bull. I've always struggled with math and I've never even gotten into college, only one that's made for people that don't need really high grades to get into it.

Can you tell your teacher about the situation with the students blasting their music when he/she is late? Maybe you can have special permissions to go somewhere more quiet, like the library? I always went to the library at lunchtime. I've had a few sensory overload problems in classrooms. Once it was so bad I ran into the girls toilets.

I went through the same thing with getting grades despite doing extra study. That's probably why I decided against going to university.
Is there someone you can talk to at your college that can help you out with your grades?
I spell horribly too. Having mild dyslexia on top of AS gets a bit irritating.

I was in community college for a while after a long break from it actually (about a 10 year break from trying right out of high school until the second time I tried it again). I know the frustrations your are talking about very well.

In my last math class there, the teacher was really... just not that great or perceptive of things. She would show up 5 to 10 minutes late, and students in the class would move the clock ahead 20 minutes during that time so we would get out early... it drove me nuts. That was the class that finally made me quit trying again, because we just didn't have to do a single thing in the class, quite literally. People would use their cell phones as calculators, which also drove me nuts because it was a rule the teacher had made that it was not allowed, yet it happened on a daily basis right in front of her and she remained oblivious. The disregard for the rules, combined with not actually having anything to really learn in the class did me in eventually and I have not been back. (It was that and some problems in the English Comp class that I've referred to in the past as well...)

I'm also much the same in not really wanting friends but wanting them at the same time... I would like to have people to talk to when I need it, or people to be around when I want to be around people... but that isn't how it would work and friendships often wind up quite overwhelming to me because there is so much maintenance to keeping friends that goes along with it. I've never managed to get very far due to the maintenance part and just not really being interested in keeping it up simply because other people expect me to do so. So I have a lot of short-term friends that get tired of it quite quickly... at the same time, I am very sad from time to time because I do not have them around. I just wish it wasn't so much work... it seems to me that friendships shouldn't be viewed as "work", but that is the only way I can think of to describe my experiences.

I don't really have any advice, or many words of support, or much of a different point of view, lol... as you can see what my choice as for the first part was, and I would never advise someone to just stop going to college, as I personally think that is the one thing I would love to complete most and am saddened that it has also become a roadblock at the same time to becoming anything. I'm just sharing my experiences to let you know that you aren't alone in it all at least, others have been there too, and I hope someone else on this forum can offer some insight to help you out.

With school, I personally prefer online classes. University of Maryland University offers many classes online, and they are regionally accredited (as opposed to nationally accredited). I even took a class where I hated the teacher and still enjoyed the class. And, another class, I hated a couple students, and now one is a friend on my facebook, LOL. I don't know if it's an option, but if it is, you should seriously consider it.

On your grades, sometimes I don't think the problem is that you have a harder time learning as much as you learn differently than most people. Really, grades are a two part subject. The first part is the learning aspect. I highly suggest taking a class on study skills. I always got good grades when I show up to class, but I still benefited from study skills because not only did it help me find out better ways to learn more, but also get through all the work faster. This is a link to the book we used in that class that I really liked...
http://www.amazon.com/College-Learning- ... 407&sr=8-1

The main thing was that people have a learning preference. There's visual learning, verbal/audio learning, and then hands on/kinesthetic learning. We all have a preference, and once you discover what your preference is, then you can adapt the ways teachers teach into your preferred methods. For instance, I'm a huge visual learner. When I take a lecture only course, I write notes that are visually appealing to me. Now, I can even kind of hear what I want and what I don't want pretty quickly and write less notes because I make better judgement calls about what's important.

The other thing I noticed with school is that teachers seem to quote each other. Like they have one way and only one way to introduce certain information, and sometimes it just doesn't make that much sense. I think what happens is that even the teachers don't always understand the concepts they are teaching, and it shows. It's like they are stuck into one or two ways to teach the subject matter. If you aren't understanding a concept, it helps to find someone else to explain it to you. But, that's easier said than done. One book I can almost always count on to explain things that make sense to me is the "For Dummies" version of a subject, but there were exceptions (I didn't like the statistics for dummies). I've seen some websites explain concepts well as well, and wikipedia actually often explains things nicely, but you want to second check it with other sources.

Another important aspect to your learning style is how you process information. Some people need a main idea or the big picture first before they can process all the details. Some (like myself) like to start from the details to get that epiphany of the big picture. Once you figure out how you prefer to handle that, you can introduce yourself to what you need to learn in the manner you prefer.

Noah Webster believed that the way to teach children or people something was to separate it out into levels (which is why we have K-12 type mentality). He just believed the information had to be introduced in a certain manner for people to learn. If you missed a bunch of concepts in 4th grade and still passed caused you knew enough to get by, it gets noticed in later years. And, if you forget a lot of that information, you might notice it too. So, you may find yourself getting back to the basics on occassion, and that's also important and not something to ignore. Like if you are taking algebra and find yourself somewhat still confused about fractions, then you might benefit from re-learning or reviewing fractions on a grade school level.

I also believe the real key to learning anything is to really work on your reading and information organizing skills. If you re-study the concept of a paragraph (the main idea and supporting points), you have the equation to organize information. Some writers are good at organizing that for you, but some stink (especially in numbers oriented studies like math or accounting...they are no writers more often than not...and then of course, there's people like me who can't organize information to write it, but I can to learn it).

Kind of imagine your study process like Judge Judy does her courtroom. Judge Judy often asks questions and gets mad when people try to volunteer information. She knows what she is looking for, and she knows when her questions are answered and honestly answered, she will have exactly what she needs to have to render her verdict. Many of the people in her courtroom think if they got to say one thing, she'd have changed her mind, but in reality, she wouldn't. She only asks what matters to her decision. When you are trying to learn something new, you have to ask the questions to yourself (and sometimes the teacher) such as what do I need to know? As you find answers to those questions, you might bring upon more questions. Either way, you are sorting through a lot of information. Some of it is useful whereas some of it is heresay or irrelevant. Also, you have your way that you want that info introduced. I've seen Judge Judy ask a question, someone answer it, and she realizes she missed something skipping ahead and asks the person to back up to what happened before that question or some background questions she thinks is important. Either way, her questioning process is based on the way she easily learns the whole story for purpose of the case. Judge Joe Brown is different and so is his line of questioning. So you have to learn what kind of questions do you need answered to learn something new. Once you figure that out, nine times out of ten, the same type of questions are going to work for you in your future learning endeavors and can almost be a protocol that you turn to.

The other side of making good grades is self management. Homework has to be turned in on time. You have to attend classes that require attendance. You really have to be there to get the points, but also, be organized with your material and reach deadlines. This is the part of the grade where it sounds like you are good to go, but I tend to fail. I do point it out because I don't want you to ever think this isn't important because it often is more important than what you actually learn.

Oh, and another thing to consider is to look at your weakest points. Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety issues in class, and I'm sure test-taking is a very hard thing for you to do without being distracted.

Also, if noise bothers you, you might try going to a Walmart or Lowes, and ask the guy working about hearing protection. They do have big hunky things that look like you are at a recording studio, but they also have cheap ear plugs that are hardly noticed but are very effective. They are also squishy enough that they might be fun to pick at. Of course, you can't use them when the teacher is talking.... but sometimes it helps in lecture based courses to bring a recorder of some sort and record the lecture to re-visit in the comfort of your own home. Make sure you let everyone know for legal purposes if you do that.

Now, as far as making friends, you might consider joining a book club or something like that. There are many people who aren't autistic who don't enjoy large groups of people. Generally, it is best to find your special interests and then find clubs and organizations that serve those interests. One guy on here said he joined MENSA only because the group in his area was fun to hang out with, and then he moved and that group wasn't so much fun. Anyway, there are many avenues to meet people without having to go to large social activities. Just keep in mind that it takes years to develop a firm friendship, and it may take years to find someone worth developing that friendship with. I tend to look at my best friends the way I do Mr. Right (without the whole sex thing of course). You can date a lot of idiots and jerks before finding a guy worth dating and to just decide, nevermind I lost interest and to go through that many many times before you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Friends kind of work in the same manner. You meet people, you hang out, you realize early on that some are idiots and not worth your time, and you also find some people you want to spend more time with to later find out they weren't worth hanging out with. You wonder about people you were too quick to judge and fear trying to re-kindle that friendship. You get your feelings hurt/heartbreak when someone just wants to stop hanging out with you for no obvious reason. Sometimes you can have years of a friendship to grow in separate directions. But, eventually, you find that one friend who is your best friend for life. As hard as it was to get there, it is worth it.

Oh, and as for friends, it's really awesome when you have 2 best friends because when you are arguing or having problems with one friend, you can complain about it to the other one...LOL. Seriously though, I have my best friend who is like a sister, my sister who is like a best friend, my mother, and my husband. When I argue with my best friend, I talk to my husband about it. When I argue with my husband, I talk to my best friend about it. When I argue with my sister, I talk to my mother. When I argue with my mother, I talk to my sister. And because I do that, everyone in my circle keeps me from going totally insane and holds it together more so that I do forgive everyone (including myself) when things are going wrong (or appears to be going wrong). What's funny is when my sister has a problem with my mother, she calls me. When my mother has a problem with my sister, she calls me. When my best friend is having problems with her husband, she calls me. And when her husband has problems with her, he doesn't talk to anyone and ends up being a jerk to many people as a result. Nobody really likes him but me and my best friend (for my best friend as her husband, and even then we have been questioning that lately) because we see the real man underneath it all... or we are both blinded by the illusion of the possibility.

Anyway, sorry so long, and I hope things go well for you.