Would there be a point in me getting a diagnosis?

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OK, just need some advice on this...

I'm a 40 year old female, and I've been increasingly convinced that I have Aspergers for about the last two or three years, just from stuff I've been hearing and reading online. (The thing that made the penny drop for me was hearing that girls and women could have it. For some years I knew what it was, but didn't connect it to me because I thought it was a disorder of males.) I score well within the AS criteria on the Baron-Cohen test, although I know that's not diagnostic in itself.

As luck would have it, where I live is well within reach of Cambridge, UK and Baron-Cohen's own CLASS research center. I haven't approached my GP yet (the one who treated me for depression a few years back), but I think she'd probably be OK about referring me. (If she isn't, that's a whole other bundle of laughs.)

I thought that the thing about taking along someone who knew you as a child would be a problem. There are only really two people still in my life who fulfil that criteria: my brother (who's much older than me) and his wife (who's known me since I was about five or six), and I'd rather not take either of them, for reasons I'll explain shortly. That said, it sounds, from a discussion I was listening to on Radio 4 today, as if some clinics will now waive that requirement, on the grounds that some adult Aspies-in-diagnosis don't want their families to know. So that may not be a problem.

The issue is why, and whether, I really do want a diagnosis. The pros are as follows:

1. It actually gives me a tangible, 'official' condition I can work with. I would know where I'm coming from.
2. It will enable me to access help at work if I need it. (In my current workplace this isn't so much of a problem, but in previous workplaces - where I've been bullied and made to undertake work that was, in social contact terms, harmful to my mental health - it was, and I don't lose sight of the fact that I probably won't be in the same workplace forever.)
3. It being 'official' might gain me more understanding from my family.

Then again...
1. Do I really want a label?
2. It might actually be harmful to me at work, in terms of having to mention it in resumés and what have you...we have anti-discrimination laws, but some employers are poorly aware of what constitutes a disability, and will just trash anything that looks dodgy to them. (I have a union rep and former colleague I could discuss this with...have said nothing to her so far, but she's about the first person besides my husband I might consider 'coming out' to.)
3. I do at some stage want to emigrate to the US. I don't know what a diagnosis would mean for me in terms of immigration and in terms of getting health insurance. (Actually, I have a nasty feeling I do know what it means in terms of insurance, but I'll let you Americans tell me about that.)
4. It's entirely possible my family might think I was 'making excuses' for aspects of my behavior. My late mother would certainly have done; she saw my social awkwardness and lack of interest in 'girlie' appearance-related stuff as my way of deliberately spiting her. I don't know if my other relatives would feel the same way, but I do know that when I hinted at there being something unusual about me as a child, it got shrugged off (by a SIL who happens to be a special needs teacher).

Anyone got any thoughts on this?

A diagnosis is good if you simply need to know, or if you need it to apply for SSI or disability. The only thing, from my experience, is that shrinks who have no real understanding of ASD are going to treat it like a psychosis rather than autism, so they'll try to convince you to continue to see them. So if you want a diagnosis try to find someone who specializes in ASD. I got my diagnosis last week, and that's all I wanted, but I felt like I was being thought of as just another person with a mental disorder. I don't consider Asperger's as something that has affected my life for the worse. I function just fine. Sure, it ails me in various ways, but I wouldn't be who I am today without it. I like who I am, so I don't want to be treated like a mental patient.

(AND MY MOTHER KEEPS FREAKIN INTERRUPTING ME. I have headphones on so I don't disturb her, and she keeps trying to talk to me. This time she walked over and waved her hand in my face. Ugh.)

May I ask why?

Oh, come on, the US isn't such a bad place... when we're not in the middle of an economic tailspin there are lots of jobs here, too.

But she's got all of Europe at her disposal. I really can't fathom why anyone'd move here. If I could move over to the UK legally, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

I love Seattle, basically, and Seattle just happens to be in the USA. If we were living in some weird parallel universe where everything was the same except the Oregon Treaty never happened, I'd be trying to get into Canada. (And it'd probably be a darn sight easier.)

But, visas and other fun stuff aside, I was told depression and other mental health conditions made it a pain to get health insurance in the US, and I wondered what the situation was with Asperger's.

If you want sure having a dx sort of gives you some closure on your
condition, I was dxed in 1997, but its just another lable slapped on my
forehead.

I love Seattle, too. I lived there for four months. Couldn't keep a job, so I returned to TX. I want to go back!

As far as I know, one needs to be a U.S. citizen/possess a Social Security number in order to qualify for most health insurance coverage, here. How do you plan to apply for work here in the States?

As an aside: I'd applied in '07 to the Home Office in London for dual national status, based on the fact that my dad was born and raised in England (his whole family's still over there), and one of my brothers has dual U.S./British citizenship. I was turned down because I'm not my dad's biological daughter, and even though he legally adopted me when he married my mom (when I was a wee lass), he would've had to've registered that adoption with the Home Office before I'd turned 18. He had no idea that such a law even existed, or he'd have done so before it was too late. The suckage just doesn't end! I'm sorry, I'm just jealous and bitter that folks from other countries are allowed to move *here*, but *I* can't get the f*ck out!

Mine....as I've debated the same issue....

1. You are right that it gives you an "official" label. Very helpful in some cases as it's not your self-diagnosis (which is likely right), but that of a respected "professional."

2. For all the debate of it helping or hurting in the workplace, there is no doubt that if you want protecton under the ADA (or equivalent non-discrimination legislation), you need to prove you have a disability.

3. If your family loves to live in denial, the "official" diagnosis is something harder to try and argue against.

On the cons....

1. I personally do not want to have a "label," so I am not eager to get a Dx anytime soon, but I do want to know who, where and how much one costs for when I feel the time comes to get it done.

2. There is no doubt that laws like the ADA have actually hurt career opportunity for many disabled people because employers only care about risk avoidance and it is smarter for them to not hire a handicapped person than to risk what might happen if they do hire one. Doesn't go that way all the time, but it is a real risk to consider. If you can get that job and keep it without invoking the ADA provisions, the better it is for everyone.

3. AS isn't a medical condition. It should not prevent you from getting insurance, but health insurance is in flux right now and they've been trying to avoid covering anyone who is a risk of future claims. As far as immigration is concerned, I don't think medical conditions are an issue, but if you can't work, you likely won't be allowed in. We don't let immigrants in who can't work or won't work unless someone here will be responsible for taking care of them. Like most every other nation, immigration is intended to only allow in those who will improve a nation, not freeload off the welfare system. I looked into immigrating into Canada. They have some tough standards unless you have a skill that they desperately need.

4. Not sure what to think of your last concern. Having a Dx should offer clinical proof that you aren't making excuses. My nephew has minor brain damage from a seizure he had as an infant. Sometimes, he makes excuses for having a "bad brain," and we get on his case about it because he was an infant, any damage was very likely compensated by later brain development. He is very intelligent and no doctor has granted a Dx of mental retardation. He does have some speech/language issues, but that is more the result of an inner ear issue that wasn't diagnosed until we noticed lagging language development skills. In short, it is one thing to have a Dx and another thing to use that Dx as an excuse to never try and make your life better. Some people seek a Dx so they can choose to be lazy, but not everyone does that.

The main reason I have not obtained a diagnosis is the story I have heard from other adults in the UK is you have to spend 1 to 2 years fighting with various arms of the NHS to get the necessary referrals and diagnostic procedures. Apparently the process is relatively smooth for children and teenagers, but after you turn 18, it becomes a real pain.



I think you will find it is very difficult to get a USA work permit (usually an H1-B visa). You basically need some specialised skills and the employer has to show that there is not someone already in the USA who is willing and able to do the job. Even then, there are limits on the number of work permits that can be issued each year. (A few years ago, Microsoft announced that they were building some sort of R&D centre in Vancouver, Canada, because the USA immigration laws made it impossible for them to hire the people they needed.)

By far the fastest way to obtain permanent residency and (eventually) US citizenship is to join the US military. Unfortunately for you, I believe the cut-off age is somewhere around 35 to 40 years old. The second fastest way is to marry a US citizen. Hmmm, would your husband mind if you did that?

Even if you did get the requisite visa/ work permit, please keep in mind that you would have to deal with all of the additional problems of relocating to a new country and adjusting to a different culture, on top of the existing difficulties associated with AS.

Finally, as someone who has lived in several different countries over the course of my life, I know that every place as both its good and bad aspects.

(Sorry if this post seems very negative.)

I need to find some EU dude to marry (temporarily, of course!) so that I can get a green card/visa/whathaveyou... Any of you folks over the Pond know any guys who'd be willing and able?

I am in the same situation, to get diagnosed or not to diagnosed. Or, to go to an appointment and expect the diagnosis, or to go to an appointment and expect to be not diagnosed as AS.

I have an appointment in 2 days time. I have had to tell my family about it, because I have to ask for help to pay for it, so have had the argument of the century with my Mum and Dad, who are adamant that I do not have Asperger's, even though they themselves have done nothing to find out about what it is, at all.
Actually, the argument was kind of good because everyone was pretty controlled and listened to one another so the argument was not abusive.

I don't know what I am, I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'm imagining the whole thing. What I do know, is that there might be real answers in the diagnosis and since I'm trying Uni again for the fourth time in my life next year, I want access to whatever answers there are. If I need to use some different strategies to normal in order to function well (like my friend who has been diagnosed now will use earplugs when she starts to get sensorily overloaded - what a great idea - she got this strategy from seeing a psychologist and gettign diagnosed) then I want those strategies in my life, to help me.

I'm going to be honest (and will probably make a list of my exact behaviours) and the psychologist can assess me.

So sorry I don't have any actual answers to your topic - just that perhaps I have similar feelings to you on the subject