I just don't think they care

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You know, one thing I've noticed all my life is that whenever people hurt me-- at least in most cases-- they don't seem to care to do anything to regain my trust.

I get criticized for "putting the wall up", but y'know, if they want it taken down, it comes down to being able to trust them.

They seem to want the wall down, without the trust. Either that, or our trust just doesn't mean enough to them to regain it. It's like our intense loyalty in the end means nothing, so long as they have the same half-assed loyalty from someone else that they too offer.

none of them feel the same way you do. It's just that simple. They don't see it as the betrayal you do, and they have no idea you feel so deeply about it. In their hearts, they don't feel they dislike you, nor do they think they have treated you unfairly, or unjust, so they don't see any reason to gain your trust again.

Then they think we are being 'dramatic' about our feelings and that we are 'putting up a wall' for no reason at all. . . they just don't know, is all. Simple as that.

I find that funny, as supposedly they're the ones that feel emotion a lot more than we do.

My former best friend brought my loyalty into question when he accused me of hitting on his girl, and he doesn't realize I'd be deeply hurt by that?

My former boss who I considered a very closer friend basically screwed over my loyalty to her by lowering her standards, and dating a guy who treated me like crap--knowing full well how horrible he was to her close friend--and she doesn't realize how much that hurt at the time?

Those are just two examples, but I mean r-really?

I mean, I realize a good chunk was out of peer pressure, but does it honestly elude them that much? Honestly? We are talking about NTs right? The same ones who get confused why we don't show emotion when they want us to?

We don't show them the emotions they are EXPECTING, you mean. I have watched people be bewildered when I point out something that has cut me deeply in their behaviour. Frankly, they just don't see it as that, or are even more confused when you don't just blow it off as 'one of those things'friends do with each other and no hard feelings. (this is right up there with someone really screwing you over and then say 'it's not personal' like that makes it all OK some how. )

The way I have come to think of it is this: Friend X has a emotional attachment to someone (Y) that doesn't like me. X is either unaware of their behaviour towards me or they have made a choice that they will ignore it because of their relationship with Y. It especially gets tricky with members of family, where they reason, and rightly, that they will have a relationship with their family member forever, and I am just 'odd man out' when push comes to shove.

I just mostly don't put myself out there any more. Your mileage may vary.

Well, the funny thing is it's part of the reason why I, myself, have lost a lot of interest in my social life.

Whenever certain people bash my friends, I remember that when push comes to shove, they're likely no better. They, too, have major skeletons in their closet, basically....they're just usually a lot better at hiding them.

I described the situation to my Dad like this:

"they promise me a gorgeous light show....and I get two guys waving flashlights...with one of the batteries nearly being dead; and either they don't care that they can't live up to what was promised, or they see nothing wrong with it"

You have to be aware of your place in the pecking order of the person hurting you. Eg: Most people won't risk the smooth relationship with their new bf for a friend. Why? Because a friend is less important, and less hard to come by, than a bf. (I don't agree, but most people will tell you it's true). If you were Steven Spielberg promising her fame and riches as star of your new movie, chances are she would've asserted herself with her new bf about your importance in her life and how she won't tolerate his behavior towards you. Further still - her bf himself would've treated you with respect from the very first day, without needing to be told.

What you say definitely makes sense, and totally sounds reminiscent of the 48 laws of power. It's funny how little loyalty truly means to most people, but then again, maybe it's because of this that I really have no qualms with dropping a lot of old friends at this point.

And relax...this isn't something that just recently happened; the thing with my former best friend happened last year, and I could already tell that life was coming between both of us, and we were growing apart.

The thing that happened with my boss happened almost 5 years ago now...but I never really brought this example up here before, and the input you guys gave made a lot of sense.