Having a conversation with a 10 year old Ugh!

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I walked to the school to pick my kids up. This one girl who was in my son's class last year walked home with us. She lives 2 doors down. She was just jabbering away and my responses were awful! They were really short, like oh. Then she talked about how she fell a couple times when she was little and i really couldn't say much except ouch. Or eww (while she described it). Or that must have hurt. Then we got to talking about something else and i swear, not only did i not carry the conversation, and i know she was trying to keep it going, but i felt kinda stupid talking to her. I am in my mid 30's and i couldn't carry a conversation with a 10 year old! This is ridiculous!

I often think, do i really have social anxiety? It's not like i am nervous what the other person will think of me if i say something or putting my foot in my mouth, it's just that i can't find the words to keep the topic going. My 5 year old chimed in a few times, thank goodness, to keep it going. I really hate that for some it comes so naturally. I am jealous! Ugh! Just frusterated.

Can't carry a conversation if you can no longer relate. It's been a long time since a little scrape on the knee was premium conversation material.

I would be the same way. It seems best to just let the kids talk and just... listen actively.

I've noticed this with a lot of kids in our neighborhood that do the same thing to me. I usually just smile and nod, or say "uh-huh" occasionally... they seem happy enough with that

I really don't expect myself to relate too much to it, or to be too interested. I guess I figure I've experienced a LOT of what they choose to talk about, and it really doesn't matter to me anymore. Sometimes they get all cranky, because I'll just say something like, "oh it will heal." Sometimes I can easily join in on children type conversations-probably because I have the 2 kiddos to relate things to.

It comes along like, "I fell down and hurt myself really bad." "oh?" "yeah, it hurt a lot and was bleeding." "oh Zack did something like that once." Then we have something to talk about, lol. Either that or I get pretty childlike and giggle and say "ewwww" when they show me and all, and they think that's fun for some reason... sometimes I draw their attention to those types of things just to gross them out and they like that kind of stuff, too, lol. But I gotta be in a good mood for it to go smoothly.

I always just remind myself, as long as you pretend you are interested, the kiddos think that you are and are happy with whatever response they get usually.

That doesn't sound like social anxiety to me, AMD. It sounds like a typical Aspie reaction. I'm exactly the same way.
And not specifically with kids. I never know how to respond or what to say to anyone, not a word comes to mind.

BTW, I think kids are usually quite used to that response and most are more interested in babbling on, anyway.

I also find it extremely difficult to keep conversations going much of the time. Every so often I think of something to say and that keeps it going a bit longer but mostly my mind feels empty, even if I want to be polite and seem interested.

dont worry. it's a child. they dont have anything worthwhile to say at that age. and they dont want input, either. she just wanted you to listen to her speak.

i have SA and maybe AS, thats like a reaction i would give....doesnt sound like SA to me.

I am glad to know kids are use to that kinda reaction. It was just that it seemed like she kept adding things to get me to respond more. Kind of uncomfortable. She is really sweet though.

yeah. that's the sort of subject that wouldnt require much verbal input. just let her know you are listening to what she is saying.
im sure if she wanted more input, it would be a more interesting suject.

I've had young children try to hold conversations with me in public, too... I can't carry on the conversations with them, either. It's just as bad as with adults.

I was having a smoke (sshhh--don't tell anyone!) on my porch a few years back when a couple of the neighbor's little kids (maybe 5-6) came by and started to talk about something--I can't even remember what, because it didn't interest me at all, and so I just sort of nodded and grunted and said "yeah" here and there in response.

After about a minute, one of them asked me, "What's the matter? Can't you talk good?"

I must admit that I was stunned even more speechless after that.

I avoid children to the point where my obsession with avoiding them is really, probably, in OCD territory. Therefore, if I couldn't carry on a conversation with a kid, it wouldn't bother me. That said I was unavoidably in a situation where I had to do it today, and it seemed to go smoothly.

I would say that even if you're giving very short replies to them talking, that is good enough since it's at least a response.

You are right, they do! I just am not comfortable talking to anyone reguardless of age. My own kids, i seem to have no problem finding words with them. As a matter of fact, each night before bed, i talk to my son. I do not allow video game talk and he doesn't mind (since he talks about it all day). We talk about school, life, friends, just about anything.

I can always talk to my kiddos much better than someone else's... but I can also talk to kids much better than I can other adults.

At least with kids, arts and crafts and cartoons and things can easily become topic of conversations. With adults, they just walk away if you start up a conversation about those things

I think it can be easier with kids too. They don't give you the long usual row of smalltalk questions like adults do. Often they just tend to tell themselves, about what happened to them, or what they are thinking about just at the moment. I like that.
(Or they just want to play, or dance, or something similar... I like that too! )