How many events in my life made me who I am today

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Since someone recently asked if we had the option to go back in time, would we, I thought I'd offer some perspective:


Being born into a well-to-do family--but to utterly broke parents--didn't give me that "well, appreciate what little you have" thing, whatever it is.

To the contrary: I became extremely greedy. But, due to my parents' upbringing regarding teaching me honesty and morality, while ultra greedy, I wanted to earn all the valuable things in life the right way.

As a child, I basically saw my life being one of either two options:

Either accept that my life would be miserable for a while, and do everything in my power to help it improve in the long run, so I would one day hopefully see that greatness come to fruition, or..

Get pulled in by peer pressure to do underage drinking, smoking, drugs, theft, the works, and wind up in a really, really bad place.

Dealing with that in my life brought out the sheer level of willpower I actually have; it's pretty intense apparently...and it also appears to be a lot more than most people seem to have.

Now, either way, I had to see lots of counselors and psychologists/psychiatrists in my life, but on event regarding them was more important than any other...and looking back on it now, I'm glad I had the event:

because my Works Program teacher finally convinced me to "expand my horizons", I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to do after high school...especially after my Business courses at the County College wound up being a total bust...partly due to the fact that my parents knew we really couldn't afford it. We called in a career counselor, and we gave him full permission to chat with a doctor I was going to at the time. He was the first to tell me about my Autism; that's when I first heard about it. Had it not been for my Works Program teacher, and dropping out of college, I would've never likely known I was Autistic.

Another big event first started when I was around 3: I'd jump on the couch and watch whatever was on TV; I was a bored kid, and TV was also my only shield from my mom before Dad got home from work. After the cartoons, there were all these shows and sitcoms that took place in California. But there was one.....it was about a failing radio station..and it took place in a city called Cincinnati. and as I later discovered, Cincinnati was a city in Ohio. Put the state fresh in my mind. Eventually, I got so damn fed up with NJ, and realizing it was too expensive--and at the time, I was very political, and NJ pretty much went against all my core political beliefs at that time. Ohio was a "battleground" state, so I put that into strong consideration.

The final two events happened when I decided, after my mom's death, to open up to people...if only just a little bit:

the first event was that I became friends with this guy, and one day I was off from work, and asked if he wanted to hang out; he told me he was going to this comic store. I asked if I could tag along. I wasn't getting paid 'til the day after, but when I got there, it blew my mind completely. It was then that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and I'm doing it now, and slowly becoming successful in the process; and he is a regular shopper of ours; it's great.

finally, upon opening up to people, I was at work and started a conversation with a guy who seemed very suspicious, and I thought he was gonna steal something( we had really bad security at my store). Well, he kept coming back in to talk to me. Figured I'd ask him if he wanted to hang. Not only did he, he brought his friends along, and I joined his group. He eventually wound up being a total douchebag, we kicked him out, I took over as the head of the group, and one of the guys in the group met a girl online...from Ohio. We decided to move out there, so he could be with her, and I could finally just be on my own, in a place I wound up loving. Oh yeah, he's also my business partner now.

So no, I wouldn't go back in time and change things; had they not happened, none of that would've happened, and I wouldn't be here typing to all of you about it

Now that's a bloody brilliant chain reaction!

Well, I have lots of that stuff going on in my own life, but the most bluntly obvious example here, not my life per sé, but my parents's..

Dad's an idiot. PDD-NOS or something too. At 17, he spooked a horse on his bike, got flung into a picket fence. Cranium spiked. Coma.
Everyone gave up on him but his mom, Grandma. She prayed to god, and dad eventually woke up.
He had to be taught to walk, talk, and live his life again. So she did. Grandma went a bit crazy and her Aspergers turned..sociopathic.
Mom meets Dad. Dad's got the "cheerfulness & logic" trait set coursing through his DNA, including autistic stuff, and my mom's got "passion & determination".
They have me, my bro, and my sis.
My Grandma's a cultleader now. She's got her kids believi'n she's a prophet. They're split from the Adventists.
Mom was indifferent. But we were being brainwashed. I was the Chosen One. Could do NO wrong.
Mom got pressured. She could only do wrong. Mental abuse by grandma, and later dad.
She cracked. Became somewhat zombified. But wouldn't tell grandma to shove off, NOR blindly believe. Freedom of choice indeed.

Then mom got ill. Finger cut. Flesh-eating bacteria.

50% chance the drug would be the right one.

They pwned the germ.

Whilst she was recovering she realized 2 things:

1: Cigarettes sucked.
2:Her family was MESSED UP. She could hardly believe what the people around her had "become".

Mom got a bit rebellious. Grandma didn't like rebellious. In the end, she shouted: "Begone, Satan!" at mom.
By that point things went south. Tensions got so high mom feared for her life and our safety.
She just..er..took us, and fled.

By some fluke my dad was stupid enough(or obedient to grandma enough) to make a fuss over carpools in custody court. He sent an angry letter, and that was that. The judge began to realize who the heck she was dealing with, and gave mom full custody.

That was good fun.
And the overconfidence my cult past gave me, the optimism my dad gave me and the rightiousness my mom gave me got me through middle school and highschool relatively unscathed, until the people around me got some proper empathy in their minds(At around 16, 18 )..

Goooood fun!

This always makes me curious. If I could go back and change my ways, how different would my life be now? I was a content but naive child who got bullied a lot (those were the good years...) then my nan died when I was 12. I became withdrawn and my autism got more noticeable (no one knew I had it either). Since then I: got beaten up, was nearly set on fire, was threatened with acid, was treated badly by teachers, rebelled, left school with no GCSE's, found out I had AS, was beaten up in a park, was sexually assulted in the same park (why'd I keep going there?), was pushed off a moving bus, was kicked out of college because I hit a bully, ended up in a mental hospital and now just living in supported accomodation...

I often curious about whether I might be independant though if some of these things hadn't happened... Oh well s*** happens!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )