Is there a distinction?

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Is there a distinction between lack of social ability and lack of social motivation? I'm asking this because it seems to me that most of my difficulty relating to people comes down to a lack of motivation to talk. It’s like the drive is completely missing in me lately. I mean, I can talk in terms of what is expected out of politeness, but since the urge to talk is derived based on a social expectation rather than an innate instinctive desire to strike up a conversation the whole thing feels stilted and unnatural.

I have a strong feeling that other people (NTs) are able to socialize spontaneously and naturally because they are emotionally engaged by it. We all have a tendency to learn easily activities that engage us. On the flip side activities that don't engage us tend to be difficult. At least this is true for me.

Yes.

I suspect that , after some years, it is impossible to make the distinction between the two.

I have motivation, but never had the ability. Regardless of the results, I will never give up trying.

they can also go hand in hand.

lack of ability and the subsequent failing can lead to a lack of motivation, which leads to even more lacking in the ability because you no longer try. like everything, it is a vicious cycle. or can be.

But can't it also be that lack of motivation leads to lack of ability due to lack of experience?

There is definitely a distinction. Like I tell the people I help with schoolwork, there is a HUGE difference between not being able to learn something and not bothering to.

Exactly. I can't make the distinction for myself. Sometimes I wonder how much of my problem is due to autism and how much is due to me being so introverted. What makes small talk so difficult is my lack of ability to care. I can force myself to nod and smile once in a while but beyond that my brain just refuses to work because it's not completely engaged. Whenever I'm uninterested I seem to space out and completely lose track of conversations.