making decisions for yourself?

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so this is wierd i never noticed but i cant make decisions, need somebody to always make the decision. Even simple things as what to wear, what to do, where to go, what to eat. sometimes i cant understand the consequences to each decision so it becomes confusing for me. sometimes i think its cause everybody was my voice growing up so its differecult. either way i can get peanut butter on a spoon if i want, get my drink if i want, go to bed if i want, etc but most stuff i need assistance and somebody making that decision for me. Does anybody else not make decisions for yourself or can't make decisions for yourself

I have some problems with making decisions, but not to that extent. For me, it's weird thoughts like: "If you go on this website now, you'll die before the age of 35", or, "If you go this way to the shops, you'll get run over by a car and someone will break into your home". And, then, if I do the opposite thing, I get a panic attack for not going on the website or not going that way to the shops.

My mom has this problem, I think, in a milder variant. She would've been diagnosed as a kid if they'd had a definition for it back then; and as an adult, she's always felt like she had to have somebody to help her through life--first her parents, then her various churches or her various husbands (she never left them; they tended to leave her). Nowadays, she listens to various alternative-medicine gurus to tell her what to eat and what to do or not to do. In a way, I think she has problems analyzing her own decisions; and it doesn't help that my grandmother is a rather strong-willed sort who, though she isn't mean about it, generally expects to have her own way at all times.

Decisions can definitely be difficult. I can make them, but it's not intuitive for me. When I make a decision, I have to step back from the situation, weigh the pros and cons, and add up the net benefits for each option. So I make decisions myself, but I make them slowly and analytically instead of jumping on what seems to be the best option. I can sometimes make a decision without meaning to, because it fits into the conversation and I'm focused on saying the right thing for the situation.

You do have some experience making decisions, though; so you could probably branch out from there. If you can analyze the decision--doesn't matter if it takes you hours--and communicate your desires clearly, then you'll have it down... most likely it will take practice.

I have been making them since I was about 14 or 15.

My decision making skills were evident in the length. I was due in court and my brother asked if I wanted our dad to come along. I needed time to say. It wasn't until a day or two before that I had my decision. It was a "no" My brother made the decision for me and he came along.

I practically processed all sorts of scenarios. Basically, he was very quick to "report" back to his wife about the results before I was happy with everything.

EnglishInvader wrote:

I do that too but for me it's always a matter of whether the traffic light turns yellow before I'm completely through the intersection. I don't actually believe it-I just feel compelled to think it. I remember as a young child in primary school I did a lot of magical (if-then) thinking. I guess I was trying to find order in a world I found confusing.

I am renowned for not being able to make decisions easily, no matter how simple. It runs on my father's side.

I have troubles making decisions for myself and its normally either my mum or my sister that ends up making the decisions for me....
The only decision I made myself was going to college... even though it put my girlfriend in so much tears and became more angry and eventually got me to lose her... besides that, i've been doing so much better since then...

I have this difficulty sometimes so I rather have people pick for me. I sometimes pick random things and I hate it when I get asked "Why?"

I used to spend minutes in a store looking at video games decided on which game to buy and then I decided to go by cheapest price. I swear everyone has this issue. I have seen my mother spending her time looking at fabrics and stuff or colors for what to paint her dining room or kitchen or looking at wallpaper. I have taken a long time too going grocery shopping decided on what kind of brand of food to get but if I stick to the same foods, I can get out of there in a half hour with my husband.

Sometimes yes. Like if i am put on the spot, i freeze up and say idk. Bf always asks me where we should go to eat and i can never make up my mind. He gets mad because of this. If i finally do make a decision, i feel sometimes it was a wrong one and makes me feel like crap even though there's nothing wrong with my choice. It's like i made the decision, but deep down that isn't what i wanted but felt i just couldn't choose it for some odd reason.

If I were you, I think I'd pick a favorite restaurant and say that one if I couldn't think of anything. Or tell the BF that he gets to pick every other time, and then you pick your pre-chosen favorite whenever it's your turn. Presto, no more on the spot decision making...

I was very poor at this until I hit 24 and my baby was born.

The somewhat dramatic events leading to my decision to have a home birth were the first time I had stood up and decided something important for myself, and my family were FURIOUS at what I decided. ><

Have decided a few things for baby since that people didn't advise. I hated making decisions for myself, but I was afraid of other people making the wrong decision for my baby...

I must have a very mild variation, because it's only really some "do I really want to go to this social gathering" kinda thing, mostly. Everything else, I just go with my gut.

I am completely capable of making decisions when on my own, it is when I am around others that it proves difficult. When in the company of others I usually just "go with the flow". I think it is easier because if I had chosen something and it wasn't what ended up happening, I would be quite miserable (and so would anyone around me )