What did your parents do right?

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If you don't mind me jumping in to your discussion here, I'd very much like to know what your parents did - or are doing, for the younger members - right? What I mean by that is not what made you a successful business person or student ... I mean what made you feel good about who you are, helped you see the positives about your unique personality and gifts rather than negatives, while at the same time equipping you with the skills to relate to all us "nt"s in this world. If you're happy and feel at peace and like you have a purpose in this world and are able to have one or two meaningful relationships, how did your parents help make that happen for you?

My son is 7 and all I want is for him to always know that there is at least one person on this planet who knows and understands him and who is always on his side. I love the way he "is" and I love that I "get him", but I sometimes doubt myself when others step in and say I cater to him too much or spoil him or whatever. I also want to equip him in such a way that he can develop a meaningful relationship or two at some point in his life, he is too dear, never mind fascinating and funny, for others not to be able to get to know him as I do.

Mainly I just long to hear his point of view - but he can't express himself all that well yet, he's getting there though. I know none of you are him but it is enlightening to hear what you have to say. Thanks to any who take time to respond!

... a grateful Mom

I'm a psychology addict, so i constantly talk to my dad about my theories and suspicions about how s**t works, and about popular theories, and i often use the closest example - him and his wifes job. And it annoys me how he cannot think about it impersonally. He always tries to apologize about crap, or gets angry at me for expecting more when that is so not what i'm talking about. It's in the goddamn past, i'm just anaylzing it. But anyway, when i talk about those things i suppose i make it sound to him like he never did anything right. And it is just that the right things seem to me to be a given and are redundant to mention. Lemme think fer a while as to what was done right.

They always respected my intelligence. Never made fun of me for trying too hard, for getting good grades. They often took my side if it seemed like I wasn't getting anything out of school. Pushed to get me put into gifted classes. Argued that it was wrong for schools to channel a lot of funding into spcial-needs services while cutting or eliminating gifted programs. Wrote to an art gallery when the art class I took there at age 10 was more like babysitting than teaching. My father once told me I was bright enough to do anything I wanted in life. Of all the things I've seriously doubted, my ability to think isn't one of them. And intelligence can make a very effective tool for analyzing and interpreting behavior that can't be understood in the standard ways.

My parents do that, too. And they let me make mistakes without causing me to feel like a failure (since I am pretty good at letting myself know that). They knew something was wrong, and they did everything in their power to figure out what they could do to help. Even though we didn't figure it out until about two years ago (mostly because I just didn't know how talk about what was wrong), they still accepted that I was "different" than any other kids they knew...different, mind you, not defective.

They let me stay to myself, even though they don't really understand why I am much more comfortable alone with my books than with people. And they still have to prompt me to realize that while "I" may not appreciate small talk, it is an important part of other's lives and I should make an honest effort to participate. But they don't make me feel bad.

They always make sure there is at least something on the dinner table that I will eat.

While school is often a rough spot--since I am a terrible student and they know I can do a lot better--they know that there are challenges and I really do want to succeed, I just don't know how. (They like to say I've got a Porche for a brain, I just don't know how to drive it.) (Which is absurd because how can a person have a car for a brain?)

In 7th Grade, when I made a friend for the first time, they celebrated with me. And in 7th Grade, when I found out that a friend OUTSIDE of school is not the same as a friend INSIDE of school, they tried to explain people to me. (It's a paradox, I think, that the best thing they did was keep me in school. It sucked, and it's still not easy to get over being laughed at every single day for 12 years--but I know that if I had been homeschooled I would not be anywhere near as "normal" as I am.)

I have a hard time coherently verbalizing what I think, so when I write things down, they read them and either reply in kind or ask me "yes" or "no" questions to (as they say), "prime the pump." (Which doesn't make sense, either, but whatever.)

I think they did (and still do) a great job of parenting, but I dunno if they think so. I'll let 'em know, though.

My mother steeped me in books and learning from my birth, took me to museums and historical sites, encouraged me to take advanced classes and helped me with schoolwork and extra studying. She was happy as a clam for me when I started making friends. She showed me a lot of affection and took very good care of me.