A short conflict I had with a stranger

Post Reply New Topic

I was going to work last night and I was by this lady as I am going to the bus stop and she asks me if I have a lighter and I say "No." Then she asked me "What?" and then I said "No I don't have lighter" and then she says "I'm on the phone thank you very much" and I say "sorry" and then she gets back on her phone and says about a lady being rude. I was in too much of a hurry to care or to even say anything else. I didn't think I was rude because I didn't know she was on the phone and she had a cigarette in her hand and I thought she asked me if I have a lighter. I was in too much of a hurry to even look at her. I honestly didn't know what her problem was. I mean if you're on the phone and someone responds to you, wouldn't it be obvious they thought you were talking to them?

I usually do look at people when they ask me something to make sure that they are talking to me, not to someone else or on the phone but I was in a hurry, I didn't even think to look at her face. I was even in too much of a hurry to be embarrassed. I had to teach myself that skill to avoid embarrassment.

Yeah it's obvious what happened. Its her with the problem, not you.

And if you hadn't responded, she probably would have gotten all pissed that you were ignoring her.

And besides who asks someone ON THE PHONE if they have a lighter? They couldn't help her even if they did. I hope she dropped that cigarette in a nasty puddle.

Spokane Girl, I know you sometimes post things about something that happened, and you wonder what you might have done wrong. In case you have any doubt, I just want you to know that you didn't do anything strange, or wrong there. This wasn't a matter of you misunderstanding some social cue or something. This was just a stupid woman talking on her phone, and getting all bent out of shape for no good reason.

I mean, if she asks, "Do you have a lighter?" and there's no one around except you, then she should expect you to answer.

I can imagine that maybe she realized she didn't have a way of lighting her cigarette, and then maybe said, "Do you have a lighter?" to the person she was talking to, just as a way of saying, "Oh darn, I can't light my cigarette." But she shouldn't get offended that you answered.

Maybe, since you answered, it made her aware of how loudly she was having her personal conversation. If people don't want their personal conversations to be heard, they shouldn't talk on their phones in public.

"Do you have a lighter?" is a very common question at bus stops. If she had a cigarette in her hand and asked that while you were passing by, it would be reasonable to assume that she was talking to you.

It could be that she just does that to be rude to people who say no.

These people are always annoying.

Stupid b***h. I hate the people who think they're so important, that everyone in a 20 foot radius should hear their oh-so-important conversation. It's things like this that make me hate technology. Cell phones should be publically outlawed.

When I was in elementary school I was walking to school and there was a woman on the other side of the street. She was looking in my direction and said "Hello!" so I said hello back. She yelled back "I wasn't talking to you!" Turns out there was another woman in a parked car who she was saying hello to. Not only was that rude, but I was only 10! Jeez.

What I don't understand is why would she ask on the phone if that person has a lighter. Maybe I heard wrong.

Well that makes sense, one of those double meanings again. I wonder how you knew that? Experience or being told?

Yeah and guns kill people and cars run people over? Let's ban both!

Perhaps we should outlaw public conversations altogether, if they go over a certain decibel reading?

If you examine this objectively, you'll realize that the public cell phone conversations are 50% less annoying than two people talking in public because you only get to hear one side. Which brings me to my point: people annoyed with cell phone use in public places are in fact eavesdropping on the conversation and they are annoyed because they can't hear both sides.

I think it's a bit confusing when I'm at the store and hear a voice behind me suddenly say, "Hello..." So often I will turn around to respond in kind only to see someone talking on a cell phone.

The thing about strangers is they are strangers and it doesn't really matter what they think of you, I sometimes take opportunities like the above story to let people know where they stand in the grand scheme of things by telling them to go f**k themselves, usually shuts them up

Aha! well noticed your point was a good one too.

I often walk in a particularly popular urban park trail and see people who appear to be talking to themselves (sometimes arguing). It is a few moments later that I notice their bluetooth (wireless earpiece to their cell phone).

It is not unusual to think that people are addressing you. I find people who live in their own little world with their own little ring of friends constantly in communication annoying. To me, generally, the person I am addressing when I speak is the person in my vicinity.

Don't sweat it. Always remember, other people have their own disorders, bad days, miscommunications, etc. The problem is not always you.

Well, I wasn't thinking in terms of "double meaning" really, but I didn't know how to explain what I was thinking. If there is any kind of double meaning to "do you have a lighter", I don't know about it. I was just thinking perhaps she was being kind of playful with the person who she was on the phone with, and acting as if they were right there. I'm not explaining that very well, mostly because I don't really have a clear idea what I'm talking about. Sometimes I get a sense of how to interpret something, based on my own experience, I suppose. But, I'm very often completely wrong, because my own experience seems to not be what other people experience.

As I type this, I can see what CanadianRose wrote, and I completely agree. The problem is not always you.

(People come to WP all the time with stories about something that happened, and ask, "What did I do wrong?" And so often, the issue was something that just happens, and it has nothing to do with doing something wrong. )

I hope she dropped the PHONE in a nasty puddle! !! !! !!