Is it better not to be diagnosed? 35 and almost "normal

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I just watched video about someone diagnosed with AS.
I thought WOW that is me...almost identical. But I think isn't how we are now just because of our experiences?
I hate crowds, TV, noises I cant control, lots of people speaking at the same time, I am super picky about my food, I carry a set of keys with me all the time and fidget with them, I always have my pokerface on and almost always have no emotional reaction to others around me and always talk using metaphors. and love being by myself.
I sound like alot of fun (being sarcastic) but most people accept me as just being a little different. I am married and my wife always says "is that normal for you?" ten times a week. My father has schizophrenia and always talks using methphors and will never ever say what he is really thinking. I know I am not like him but I have always felt just a bit different than all my friends who were really social people. The only time I was able to be social was when I was drunk.
Anyway maybe this doent mean much but at least I have seen that there are other people that have similar traits to myself. Drop me an email if you have any good advice or comments, Thanks

Maybe you're just a shy or introverted person.
If you are autistic you will have likely noticed very significant differences in yourself than with your peers from a very early age.

Asperger's is just a label from the doctors. How is your relationship with your wife? Does she already understand you? Does she already accept you? How bad do you want to know if you have AS or not or just the traits?

These are questions to ask yourself about rather you should get diagnosed or not.

As long as it's not something that causes major problems in your life, you don't need a diagnosis. What's the point?

AS is a fairly new diagnosis, so when I think about it like that, I wonder whether it is really very important or not. If it is very debilitating to the point where you can't work, then maybe it's important to find out. I think that the people who were diagnosed young have been given a certain advantage, but so have those who have lived without it. The point of reference is different, that's all. No two people are alike, whether or not they are on the spectrum.

You're right and I shouldn't have quoted you because I don't like it either. I wasn't threatened, just commenting.

Formal diagnosis is a dual-edged sword. If you have matters of being held back because you are "different," proving you have AS can be helpful if your work situation is such where they will make exceptions once they know you have a documented disability. However, if you search the forums, you'll find that people with AS whose symptoms are rather noticeable are easily discriminated against even when the job has minimal public interaction and they clearly can do the job duties required of them. ADA is not a help, it's hurt the disabled more than anything else by giving employers a reason to avoid hiring the disabled.

If you know there are services you need but must prove you are disabled, then maybe it's worth it. If you had to go on disability, it would be necessary.

However, so long as you can hold a job and have some semblance of a life, formal diagnosis does little more than affirm something you already suspect/know about yourself.

In my life, I was horribly traumatized by how I was treated as a child. I know for a fact that I survived a good portion of that by "shutting down" emotionally...not allowing myself to feel anything (not that it worked 100% of the time). So, do I have AS? Are my symptoms more about the emotional trauma than they are about Autism? It's hard to say. It's not like I was ever a happy child with lots of friends BEFORE the bad things happened, but certainly the traumas made me worse. Your family history indicates there could be other factors than just AS going on.

That, and in this day and age where they want to yank a persons' right to own a firearm based on having PTSD (which you can get from anything...even an automobile accident), I'm hesitant to run out and get any psychiatric diagnosis unless I feel the potential gain outweighs the danger such documentation might create. Nowadays, doctor-patient confidentially is not what it used to be.

I concur with zer0netgain.

I have been in and out of work, but I had more confidence in myself, before I got the diagnosis.

Five years on, I feel I wasn't really assessed properly in the first place. I am claiming some government benefits, but I aim to become more independent again.

With my family I now realise they have traits too, and think the way they live is "normal" and so they've scapegoated me a bit. Not the worst parents ever, but particularly Mum always makes out like I am some kind of "freak" lol. Which I'm not, I'm pretty square and boring.

I suppose that has been the main benefit really is that I realised, my family can't say that I'm not normal without it really being about themselves.

Damned if you do.
Damned if you don't.

I have more awareness about my life since being diagnosed. I also have less denial, (and the latter was strangely beneficial to me in some ways.)

The fact is, a diagnosis has not changed the fact I am out of sync with others around me. nor has it changed the fact I panic at each and every group interaction i have to engage in.

My sister - with whom i had a very fruitful conversation about my ASD this week said to me...."You have always come across as either shy, or eccentric. Those in a group who enjoy quirky people have enjoyed you, but most people have found you quite strange, and lots of people don;t get you or cannot stand you."

I am loved by a few, and loathed by many - who do not understand me.
the diagnosis has simply explained to me "why," but ultimately it changes nothing.

Oh...there is one thing that is good about it. And that is that I have made some ASD friends on-line with whom I can talk and share my experiences and difficulties.
As for the world at large...since my dx I actually feel like more of a freak than i did before, and i feel like hiding even more. but that may change. It has only been a couple of years since i found out i was on the spectrum.

Firstly I was surprised to see so many replies my forum, it's the first one I have ever posted.
I completely understand that being diagnosed can be both a curse and/or a burden lifted in some ways.
Since becoming a teacher I have realised how much I have had to push myself to appear normal to all my workmates (who are 99% females) and also dealing with the parents which was the most terrifying part for me. It is completely exhausting at times!
Before I was a teacher I just avoided any situation that was heading toward big group or social interactions.
Only now that I have to do it as part of my job do I see how much I dislike it. But I love my lifestyle (mainly the summers off to travel and be alone) and cannot see myself changing my job soon. I love working with kids because I laugh everyday and they always accept the good with the bad.
My headteacher definately senses something about my non social tendancies because I almost never show up to their gettogethers (maybe they think its just because I am the only male?) anyway, I think it is always best to focus on the positive things in your life and always remember you never know (really) how people view you. I know I see myself very differently to how the kids in my school view me. (I guess everyone has fears, some people are better at hiding them than others)
I have just realised that at least seeing that there are others out there like myself gives me a sense of calm.
Thanks again for all the great comments